College and Meeting Your Future Spouse
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Anonymous
I think they would know by now if their DC were gay. Unless the DC is going to college at age 5. |
Anonymous
| I went to a single six school and met DH in college, although we didn't marry until I was 28 and he was 30. |
Anonymous
You'd hope so, but with a dad so clueless he thinks a criteria for college should be it's spouse-shopping potential, who's to say the kid would feel comfortable coming out to him? I have a gay son and one of the things he told my husband and me was that it was easier telling us because we'd never attempted to mold him or push him down certain paths re: his future. |
Anonymous
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I went to college in the 80s, the olden days, I know. My mom had met my Dad at college and made a point of telling me that my future husband was probably walking around on campus the day they moved me in. He wasn't, and while I dated a lot of nice guys and still have amazing male friends from school, I would never have wanted to end up one of them. Problem was, because of what my mom said, I spent most of my 20s thinking I had failed somehow by not meeting someone "nice" in college. Only years later, as I spread my wings, followed my career around the country and met my future husband did I realize how limited my life would have been, with say, my long-term college boyfriend who moved back to his hometown after college and has never left it since.
I agree with other PPs. Hopefully, you'll meet great and gain lifelong friends in college, but if you're choosing a university to land a spouse, you're hopelessly retro and perhaps more than a little deluded. Pick up the Sunday NYT and read the weddings and engagements section....you'd be surprised how many accomplished graduates of top schools says they met their spouse through an online dating service like OKCupid. |
Anonymous
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Interesting. I shared an apartment with 5 other women my junior and senior year. 5 of the 6 of us met our spouses in college and all 5 of us are still happily married. The 6th came out as lesbian 5 years after graduation and met her SO and later wife 5 years later.
While I would not pick a college specifically with the "goal" of meeting a spouse there, I don't think it is a bad idea to consider the available pool for social interactions. |
Anonymous
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I actually know more people who met their future spouse in HS or during the course of their career after college.
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Anonymous
| Overall, I don't think that most people meet their spouse during college, but I think it's a little more common at big state schools. Less common at elite schools where many people are looking at grad school, etc. after graduation. People tend to disperse more after elite schools rather than stay within the same region. |
Anonymous
Did you read the OP? I don't know that this lunatic father would be an easy person for a child to come out to. Just a hunch. |
Anonymous
| Ridiculous. Most educated people don't get married until their late 20s/early 30s. |
Anonymous
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Spouse and I met in college and I agree there is something to be said for that, as it is one of the last times in life you spend with lots of other single people your own age and intellectual level. However, as PPs have said, college age is too young to marry these days and most people manage to find spouses just fine after college.
I sure as hell do not want my child finding a mate of any sort at a Greek event. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
I meant, ha! emoji-challenged today. 
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Anonymous
This. Met in college, 2 different schools. My very good friend as well. |
Anonymous
yep - this is Wellesley PP. Also wanted to add that even if your kid doesn't meet his spouse at school, who the hell cares? I don't know that many people who even met their spouse in college, most of my friends (both Wellesley grads and co-ed school grads alike) didn't settle down and get married until their late 20s/early 30s with people they met at work/grad school/etc. Or they didn't get married at all. Which is also totally fine. |
Anonymous
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Most people I know met in grad school. DH and I met at college and we are the anomaly, we were also one of the first to get married at age 26.
Grad school is the "new college" for meeting a spouse. Although I do know a lot of people who met online, so there's that. |