College and Meeting Your Future Spouse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Measured and balanced folks realize how common it is to meet your spouse in college (or via college social circle) - which is why folks are so obsessed with their kids attending the “right” college. We all know what “right” means.

Then you’ll get the bitter souls on forums who either didn’t meet anyone in college or attended a non-peer college, so they bash their keyboards to convince us dating pools in college don’t matter. So sad.

What's sad is a parent focusing on the potential dating pool at a college as a selection criteria. Of course many people marry somebody they met in college.....I did.....but the regressive idea that a parent contemplates their child's future spouse when they're 17 is idiotic.

You're in college until 22; you're friends with college classmates for life. Many people marry someone they knew from their hometown / high school, too. So parents ought to contemplate their child's future spouse long before age 17.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DH is nuts. Really.
We didn't meet in college.

He's not nuts at all. Lots of people meet their spouses in college or later on through friends that they made in college.

Wonder if divorce rates are any higher or lower for college couples who end up getting married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DH is nuts. Really.
We didn't meet in college.

He's not nuts at all. Lots of people meet their spouses in college or later on through friends that they made in college.

Wonder if divorce rates are any higher or lower for college couples who end up getting married?

My guess is that more college marriages end in divorce more often than the rest of the population.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DH is nuts. Really.
We didn't meet in college.

He's not nuts at all. Lots of people meet their spouses in college or later on through friends that they made in college.

Wonder if divorce rates are any higher or lower for college couples who end up getting married?

My guess is that more college marriages end in divorce more often than the rest of the population.

Why would you say that?

[Anonymous]

I only had 1NSs in college, booty calls and dated hot townies.

Why would I want to marry someone from college days?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think some people with $$ or that want their kids to be well off financially do think this way.

Some? You mean ALL. Both prep school and college.

[Anonymous]

Your husband is nuts.

My DH and I met in grad school, it neither of us chose the school prioritizing spouse hunting. Yech.

[Anonymous]

Of course it matters and is increasingly relevant in today's world...it's called assortative mating.

https://www.economist.com/finance-and-economics/2017/09/21/marital-choices-are-exacerbating-household-income-inequality

[Anonymous]

Yech is right. What mixed up priorities.

And has your husband read the research literature on fraternities? Seriously,campuses with lots of greek involvement have much higher binge drinking rates (think DUI, rape, assaults, missing class, etc). This is not my opinion, it is based upon scientific studies.

Can't imagine my dad pushing for that experience. Nor can I imagine a parent in this day and age choosing a college based upon this. Wonder what other mixed up messages this child has gotten from him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So he's in the market for some frat boy for your DD? Is he cool with them meeting the morning after their first sexual experience?

I'd never recommend that my DD date a frat guy or step into a frat house - bunch of aggressive drooling losers waiting to spike your drink. Why bring one home?

I spent lots of time in frat houses and never had my drink spiked or heard of it happening to anyone else for that matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Younger age groups want to sahm more and earlier so they will think about this more than gen x

As a member of generation x, I definitely recall lots of girls discussing this as well.

[Anonymous]

I do agree that historically the vast majority of people have met their spouses through high school/college circles thus not making it completely unreasonable to at least consider the quality of the dating pool. What I wonder is if this will continue to be true not that there is online dating. I overheard one of my HS students discussing someone he met on Tinder. Admittedly, I was rather surprised. Does anyone know if online dating has lost its stigma, and is it something that college students regularly use.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DH is nuts. Really.
We didn't meet in college.

He's not nuts at all. Lots of people meet their spouses in college or later on through friends that they made in college.

Wonder if divorce rates are any higher or lower for college couples who end up getting married?

My guess is that more college marriages end in divorce more often than the rest of the population.

There’s a ‘rest of the population?’

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do agree that historically the vast majority of people have met their spouses through high school/college circles thus not making it completely unreasonable to at least consider the quality of the dating pool. What I wonder is if this will continue to be true not that there is online dating. I overheard one of my HS students discussing someone he met on Tinder. Admittedly, I was rather surprised. Does anyone know if online dating has lost its stigma, and is it something that college students regularly use.

Online dating, especially after college, is a miserable experience. My friends have met so many weirdos just looking for a hookup it’s really exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DH sounds like princeton mom, anyone remember her?

http://www.cnn.com/2014/03/13/living/princeton-mom-book-marry-smart-matrimony/



Yes, I was thinking of her. I did meet my DH in college OP. It does actually happen for a lot of people. I would cut your DH some slack. He only wants the best for his dd.