Jealous boyfriend or am I in the wrong?

[Anonymous]

I would side with you, except for the fact that you added this guy as a friend after arguing with your boyfriend about it many times. Were you trying to get back at your boyfriend? I think you both need to grow up a bit. And yes, your boyfriend sounds controlling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you even asking your boyfriend about a facebook friend request ? And why does he care ? You both need to re-evaluate your relationship. Do you want/need that kind of drama ? Does he? It sounds like he is really controlling. But you also sound more than a bit like you are trying to provoke him. It sounds like a miserable relationship.

Op Here. I never asked him, he saw the request.

He also doesn't like it when I am on my phone while we are together. I usually get up in the mornings before him and if I roll over and look at my phone, he doesn't like that. He accused me once of setting my alarm so I could be on my phone while he sleeps. When he saw me out at the bar, it wasn't the first time he has followed me or seen me out. I once told him I was going home but met a gf that he did not like, at a bar and he followed me there. I didn't tell him I was going because I knew he would be upset.
I have told him that his reactions to things make it so I feel he will be uncomfortable with the truth.

All of this is psycho on his part and is classic controlling/emotionally abusive behavior. Please break up with him, end contact, and have a plan in place to ensure your safety. You would benefit from talking to your local women's shelter; they will help you make a plan. This is a person who has stalked you on more than one occasion; don't take chances. You don't want to spend your life with someone like this, or even one more minute of your youth. There are plenty of good guys out there.

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend feels like I have lied to him.

No, you DID lie to him. Aside from any other issues, you're a liar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you even asking your boyfriend about a facebook friend request ? And why does he care ? You both need to re-evaluate your relationship. Do you want/need that kind of drama ? Does he? It sounds like he is really controlling. But you also sound more than a bit like you are trying to provoke him. It sounds like a miserable relationship.

Op Here. I never asked him, he saw the request.

He also doesn't like it when I am on my phone while we are together. I usually get up in the mornings before him and if I roll over and look at my phone, he doesn't like that. He accused me once of setting my alarm so I could be on my phone while he sleeps. When he saw me out at the bar, it wasn't the first time he has followed me or seen me out. I once told him I was going home but met a gf that he did not like, at a bar and he followed me there. I didn't tell him I was going because I knew he would be upset.
I have told him that his reactions to things make it so I feel he will be uncomfortable with the truth.

Break up. He followed you to a bar? You didn't tell him you were going because you knew he would be upset that you were seeing friends? He checks your phone? Run the hell away, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you even asking your boyfriend about a facebook friend request ? And why does he care ? You both need to re-evaluate your relationship. Do you want/need that kind of drama ? Does he? It sounds like he is really controlling. But you also sound more than a bit like you are trying to provoke him. It sounds like a miserable relationship.

Op Here. I never asked him, he saw the request.

He also doesn't like it when I am on my phone while we are together. I usually get up in the mornings before him and if I roll over and look at my phone, he doesn't like that. He accused me once of setting my alarm so I could be on my phone while he sleeps. When he saw me out at the bar, it wasn't the first time he has followed me or seen me out. I once told him I was going home but met a gf that he did not like, at a bar and he followed me there. I didn't tell him I was going because I knew he would be upset.
I have told him that his reactions to things make it so I feel he will be uncomfortable with the truth.

Break up. He followed you to a bar? You didn't tell him you were going because you knew he would be upset that you were seeing friends? He checks your phone? Run the hell away, OP.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you even asking your boyfriend about a facebook friend request ? And why does he care ? You both need to re-evaluate your relationship. Do you want/need that kind of drama ? Does he? It sounds like he is really controlling. But you also sound more than a bit like you are trying to provoke him. It sounds like a miserable relationship.

Op Here. I never asked him, he saw the request.

He also doesn't like it when I am on my phone while we are together. I usually get up in the mornings before him and if I roll over and look at my phone, he doesn't like that. He accused me once of setting my alarm so I could be on my phone while he sleeps. When he saw me out at the bar, it wasn't the first time he has followed me or seen me out. I once told him I was going home but met a gf that he did not like, at a bar and he followed me there. I didn't tell him I was going because I knew he would be upset.
I have told him that his reactions to things make it so I feel he will be uncomfortable with the truth.

Break up. He followed you to a bar? You didn't tell him you were going because you knew he would be upset that you were seeing friends? He checks your phone? Run the hell away, OP.

+1000

Get out while you still can!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would side with you, except for the fact that you added this guy as a friend after arguing with your boyfriend about it many times. Were you trying to get back at your boyfriend? I think you both need to grow up a bit. And yes, your boyfriend sounds controlling.

Did you read it? Where does OP say she argued with her boyfriend over the guy "many times"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you even asking your boyfriend about a facebook friend request ? And why does he care ? You both need to re-evaluate your relationship. Do you want/need that kind of drama ? Does he? It sounds like he is really controlling. But you also sound more than a bit like you are trying to provoke him. It sounds like a miserable relationship.

Op Here. I never asked him, he saw the request.

He also doesn't like it when I am on my phone while we are together. I usually get up in the mornings before him and if I roll over and look at my phone, he doesn't like that. He accused me once of setting my alarm so I could be on my phone while he sleeps. When he saw me out at the bar, it wasn't the first time he has followed me or seen me out. I once told him I was going home but met a gf that he did not like, at a bar and he followed me there. I didn't tell him I was going because I knew he would be upset.
I have told him that his reactions to things make it so I feel he will be uncomfortable with the truth.

He is scary. Very scary. Following you when you're not with him? Do you recognize how serious this is? This is the kind of relationship that ends with a restraining order or an ambulance. You need to get out NOW.

[Anonymous]

And PPs who have a beef with OP's behavior -- are you actually giving this scary, controlling guy a pass?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend and I have been dating over a year. When I first met him, I had a few guy friends that had told me that they had feelings for me. I distanced myself from them because it made my boyfriend uncomfortable to talk to them. One in particular lives 3 hours away and I only ever heard from him once a month or so. One time when he came to town, he ended up being at a bar that my gf and I were at and I noticed him as I was leaving. I sat down at his table with him and a few of his friends, just catching up, I wasnt there long. I then received a text from my boyfriend that he was outside the bar watching me. It resulted in a huge fight. I have since deleted that friend from Facebook and any other social media, as well as from my cell phone.

A few months ago, I met a guy through my mutual gf. He works at the place she goes frequently to eat and drink. He is harmless. I met him a few times while being there with her. Once when I went in there, his coworker had told me that this guy had a crush on me. He is nobody I would ever date or want to be with, he is pretty much just a nice harmless man. He friend requested me on Facebook and at the time, I told my boyfriend that I wasnt going to accept the friend request. Fast forward to a few weeks later and about 5 huge fights with my boyfriend, I accepted this guys request.

My boyfriend feels like I have lied to him. He feels like I am trying to meet single men. I really dont have any interest in anyone else except my boyfriend, and I certainly would never be anymore than a friend to this guy even if I wasnt in a relationship.
I told my boyfriend that what bothers me most is our constant arguments that we have, and yes, I originally told him that I wouldn't add this person, but given we have recently had a lot of arguments, I added him.

My boyfriend now wants to take time to think about if he can "handle being with me". Is he being jealous and insecure or am I doing something wrong?

1) "nice harmless man" ... you don't like him, fine, but you like that he likes you. And what seems harmless isn't always ... when somebody REALLY likes you, they can be persistent.
2) You added him because you had a fight with your boyfriend. This is juvenile and petty. You said you wouldn't (that's a whole 'nother thing) but you did because you had a fight. Do you see how wrong that behavior is?
3) You are having constant arguments. Do you LIKE your boyfriend? Why the arguments??? Good relationships should NOT consist of constant arguments.

Given that you have a crappy relationship, you are juvenile, and your boyfriend is obviously a little possessive/jealous (rightly so, apparently) you guys need to break up.

[Anonymous]

He seems like a crazy controlling psycho that you should dump immediately.

You kind of sound like you don't hate stoking the fires of his crazy. Try to rid yourself of that habit before dating a new guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find his behavior jealous and controlling and would not tolerate it. And no, I have never cheated. It is no one's place to dictate with whom his/her partner associates or befriends.

Yes. Why was he watching you through the window? Sounds creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's abnormally jealous and crazy. You however are a tad instigating. No matter what you should just ditch Facebook. You two sound like middle schoolers.

Yep. If he is following you to bars and watching thru windows, he has issues. However, it sounds like you enjoy attention from the opposite sex and maybe enjoy the jealousy a bit. Sounds like you both need to grow up.

[Anonymous]

OP, does this guy have friends of his own?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, does this guy have friends of his own?

Op here. No, he had maybe hung out with a friend three times since we have been together