My 5 year old is getting stressed out about homework

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do it until it's done . Doesn't matter if it's 5 min or 5 hours. You do your work.

THIS. 5 is NOT too young. Sorry but this is why achievement is so subpar -- no one believes their snowflake should have to do anything they don't want to do or be stressed for even a minute.

See 15:20.

Tell me, how much HW did you have at 5? I can tell you how much I had. Nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really struggling getting my 5 year old's K homework done each night. We don't get home until around 6:30. Before he had homework every night, it was a struggle just to get him and my 2 year old fed and ready for bed in time (with a little play time). Now, with homework in the mix, it's crazy. I've had to push bedtime to later.

AND, the winter break homework "packet" was insane! We brought it on vacation with us, but still didn't finish it and had to spend another hour on it after getting back. Ridiculous.

Give me a break, you don't have 10 min for nightly homework? Or even a half hr? Or ONE HOUR when there was one WEEK off from school? There isn't 10 min where your snowflake complains about whatever happened at school -- he couldn't replace that time with HW? This isn't India or China where they're giving 5 hrs of HW a night.

Ah, "not as bad as China." What a standard to aspire to.

Oh, and they're getting close to 3 hours a night in Shanghai. That's not all of China. It's still worse than anywhere else in the world.

Finland, where kids average about half an hour a day when they're 15 year olds in high school, consistently ranks among the top in international testing scores (not that those matter that much).

[Anonymous]

Teacher or the administration needs a kick in the ass.

No homework for K. And no teacher better be taking away recess for it, or I'll break her in half.

[Anonymous]

I don't know what this infatuation with Finland and their alleged lack of homework is about, but many Finlanders (Finlandians?) are countering by saying they had plenty of homework in secondary school. I doubt it was hours of homework, but they weren't coerced into taking 4 AP classes at once and then wondering why there's so much homework.

[Anonymous]

Even if homework isn't appropriate at that age, deciding not to do it and to try to change the system really doesn't help the immediate problem. Personally, I was always torn between the idea that it wasn't necessary and the desire to teach my kids to fulfill their obligations. I decided that it was better to teach them to fulfill their obligations. I started them on chores at a young age and I required all homework to be done.

As to the stress, whenever my kids felt overwhelmed (and even now in HS this happens), I just drop everything and sit with them to get them going. I actually spend far less time with them and they are far less overwhelmed and anxious because I just do it. Once they become calm, they are able to finish on their own. Literally, it takes me like 5 minutes and then I just have to be periodically visible. Never in a million years would I have allowed my child to miss recess and be stressed so I could try to change the teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Teacher or the administration needs a kick in the ass.

No homework for K. And no teacher better be taking away recess for it, or I'll break her in half.

Good luck with that!

[Anonymous]

OP, All kids are not the same. Maybe the homework is too much for your 5 year old? Get an IEP for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. don't make her do homework. 5 is WAY too young.
2. tell the teacher she won't be doing homework.
3. tell the administration the teacher is taking a recess. that is a completely inappropriate tactic to get kids to complete a useless assignment.

I completely agree with this. No more homework for your 5 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, K teacher here (not in DC and still on break!)

At least here, I CAN take away second recess as a disciplinary measure, and our math homework is a graded standard - If your child doesn't do it, I unfortunately have to give them a grade of incomplete. Fortunately however, these sheets take less than 5 minutes to complete.

If you take away recess you are an ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, All kids are not the same. Maybe the homework is too much for your 5 year old? Get an IEP for her.

Wow, so Ker's who have issues with homework Now all have special needs? First, you're an ass. Second, kids are different, and that does not automatically translate to special needs. Third, homework in kindergarten serves absolutely no purpose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, All kids are not the same. Maybe the homework is too much for your 5 year old? Get an IEP for her.

Wow, so Ker's who have issues with homework Now all have special needs? First, you're an ass. Second, kids are different, and that does not automatically translate to special needs. Third, homework in kindergarten serves absolutely no purpose.

You are an asshole.

When kids need an IEP, it is better to recognize it early rather than later, so that help can be provided. You are stigmatizing these kind of support. Homework at any grade serves to make students understand the concepts taught at school. Obviously, a 5 year old has not really learned much and will be given very basic and easy homework. I bet that her peers have no problem doing the same homework. So the question is why is this child struggling and why is she so stressed?

Is this an emotional issue, physiological issue or learning issue? Get her the help she needs now and not later when she is far behind her peers and have no hope to catch up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, All kids are not the same. Maybe the homework is too much for your 5 year old? Get an IEP for her.

Wow, so Ker's who have issues with homework Now all have special needs? First, you're an ass. Second, kids are different, and that does not automatically translate to special needs. Third, homework in kindergarten serves absolutely no purpose.

You are an asshole.

When kids need an IEP, it is better to recognize it early rather than later, so that help can be provided. You are stigmatizing these kind of support. Homework at any grade serves to make students understand the concepts taught at school. Obviously, a 5 year old has not really learned much and will be given very basic and easy homework. I bet that her peers have no problem doing the same homework. So the question is why is this child struggling and why is she so stressed?

Is this an emotional issue, physiological issue or learning issue? Get her the help she needs now and not later when she is far behind her peers and have no hope to catch up!

K mom here, and I also sort of agree. My kids homework is so basic and takes us about 5 minutes. It's really no big deal. Of course my kid would rather play than do the sheet of work, so she plays and has a snack, and then we take a five minute break.

What's going to happen in 1st grade? Is the stress suddenly going to diminish? There will be homework next year too. More REAL homework. Best to prepare the kid now with the easy K homework.

[Anonymous]

Our DD was the same way in K. Self-motivated and driven to the point of stressing herself out. Everything had to be perfect, or she'd melt down. It was a problem, and we knew it. Definitely worked a lot at home to help her manage her anxiety.

The problem was she was paired with a kindergarten teacher who gave a lot of homework and was obsessive about details -- everything had to be perfect -- including art projects. If the snowman's eyes were in the wrong place, she'd pull the eyes off and make the kid redo it. Voluntering in the classroom required a xanax.

Anyway, we used the nightly homework as an opportunity to help DD be more flexible. Trying to find the balance between "doing your best" and "being perfect". There were lots of tears and frustration on all sides. But DD grew through it as the months went on.

I did talk with the teacher after a few months to let her know DD was stressed out and trying to be perfect (often wanting to do extra . . . ) with every assignment. I said we're helping her manage, but in the meantime, may skip some assignments to give her some space to calm down.

The teacher was absolutely fine with it. No push back, no drama.

Fast forward a year, and DD was fantastic with homework in first grade. It helped that it was actually quite a bit less than in kindergrarten (appropriately so!), and also that the teacher was kind and sweet. But mostly, DD grew out of her performance anxiety.

Now in third grade, she does her homework completely independently. We don't need to remind her or sit with her. She just does it every night. Usually takes 15 minutes, max.

Looking back, five/six is a tough age for many kids. They take the rules and expectations sooooo seriously. But they may not yet be able to follow or do everything that's expected. Or they may just WORRY that they can't. It can be hard.

If you feel like it's too much, just talk with the teacher. My guess is she'll be more flexible than you think. GL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, All kids are not the same. Maybe the homework is too much for your 5 year old? Get an IEP for her.

Wow, so Ker's who have issues with homework Now all have special needs? First, you're an ass. Second, kids are different, and that does not automatically translate to special needs. Third, homework in kindergarten serves absolutely no purpose.

You are an asshole.

When kids need an IEP, it is better to recognize it early rather than later, so that help can be provided. You are stigmatizing these kind of support. Homework at any grade serves to make students understand the concepts taught at school. Obviously, a 5 year old has not really learned much and will be given very basic and easy homework. I bet that her peers have no problem doing the same homework. So the question is why is this child struggling and why is she so stressed?

Is this an emotional issue, physiological issue or learning issue? Get her the help she needs now and not later when she is far behind her peers and have no hope to catch up!

K mom here, and I also sort of agree. My kids homework is so basic and takes us about 5 minutes. It's really no big deal. Of course my kid would rather play than do the sheet of work, so she plays and has a snack, and then we take a five minute break.

What's going to happen in 1st grade? Is the stress suddenly going to diminish? There will be homework next year too. More REAL homework. Best to prepare the kid now with the easy K homework.

In 1st grade, the children will be a year older. At that age, a year of development is huge. The stress will probably diminish.

There's a reason we're saying that HW is inappropriate in K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, All kids are not the same. Maybe the homework is too much for your 5 year old? Get an IEP for her.

Wow, so Ker's who have issues with homework Now all have special needs? First, you're an ass. Second, kids are different, and that does not automatically translate to special needs. Third, homework in kindergarten serves absolutely no purpose.

No school is going to give an IEP for homework. Its very difficult to get an IEP. They don't hand them out like candy. If your kid cannot keep up, hold them back a year and try again next year.