When your spouse is selfish in bed......

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here, stop complaining and tell us exactly what you want to get the Big O! No hinting!

Women expect to lay on their back and fireworks go off. Before you get married make sure your woman can masturbate herself to an orgasm. Many are unable or unwilling to do this and just blame it on their partner.

Yep. In she can't get off without a 20-minute uninterrupted session with a plugged in personal massager, nothing you do will ever fix that.

If that's your attitude then I think she should keep the massager and bar you from her bed. You don't try to get her off? Why should she try to get you off then? No, sir.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here, stop complaining and tell us exactly what you want to get the Big O! No hinting!

Women expect to lay on their back and fireworks go off. Before you get married make sure your woman can masturbate herself to an orgasm. Many are unable or unwilling to do this and just blame it on their partner.

Yep. In she can't get off without a 20-minute uninterrupted session with a plugged in personal massager, nothing you do will ever fix that.

If that's your attitude then I think she should keep the massager and bar you from her bed. You don't try to get her off? Why should she try to get you off then? No, sir.

I think he's trying to say, albeit in a crass way, that some women don't know how to get themselves off, so how could a partner possibly know how to? Some women aren't comfortable with their bodies, exploration or communication. That kind of inhibition isn't going to make it easy for a partner to be successful. But then, why are we always looking to men to give us orgasms? It should be a joint effort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here, stop complaining and tell us exactly what you want to get the Big O! No hinting!

Women expect to lay on their back and fireworks go off. Before you get married make sure your woman can masturbate herself to an orgasm. Many are unable or unwilling to do this and just blame it on their partner.

Yep. In she can't get off without a 20-minute uninterrupted session with a plugged in personal massager, nothing you do will ever fix that.

If that's your attitude then I think she should keep the massager and bar you from her bed. You don't try to get her off? Why should she try to get you off then? No, sir.

I think he's trying to say, albeit in a crass way, that some women don't know how to get themselves off, so how could a partner possibly know how to? Some women aren't comfortable with their bodies, exploration or communication. That kind of inhibition isn't going to make it easy for a partner to be successful. But then, why are we always looking to men to give us orgasms? It should be a joint effort.

Lesbians manage to figure it out. Straight men are just as capable. No more excuses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am lucky in that I can orgasm via oral and PiV (and I avtually prefer PiV) and I have a partner who loves pleasing me and all of that makes me very enthusiastic about pleasing him. I love giving him bjs and sometimes will only want to do that which he loves.

So glad I am not the only one! Mostly during oral I am thinking, can I please take a ride now??g (and no he isn't bad at it I just like girl on top)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here, stop complaining and tell us exactly what you want to get the Big O! No hinting!

Women expect to lay on their back and fireworks go off. Before you get married make sure your woman can masturbate herself to an orgasm. Many are unable or unwilling to do this and just blame it on their partner.

Yep. In she can't get off without a 20-minute uninterrupted session with a plugged in personal massager, nothing you do will ever fix that.

If that's your attitude then I think she should keep the massager and bar you from her bed. You don't try to get her off? Why should she try to get you off then? No, sir.

I think he's trying to say, albeit in a crass way, that some women don't know how to get themselves off, so how could a partner possibly know how to? Some women aren't comfortable with their bodies, exploration or communication. That kind of inhibition isn't going to make it easy for a partner to be successful. But then, why are we always looking to men to give us orgasms? It should be a joint effort.

Lesbians manage to figure it out. Straight men are just as capable. No more excuses.

You're an idiot. If you can't give feedback and communicate with your partner, you don't deserve an orgasm. Lesbians have firsthand knowledge of how things feel so it's not a valid comparison.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:+100000 to all of this.

The biggest red flag is the ones who ask women to "teach them". Unless you are a 16 year old virgin, if you have not figured out how to get your partner off.. sorry. You are a lost cause. That is up to you to figure out. And if you haven't... you either don't care or you aren't good in bed. Thems the breaks.

How do you expect him to "figure it out"? Have you thought about TELLING HIM what gets you off?

If the guy is not a mind-reader then he is a lost cause. How many men are mind-readers? My guess would be not very many. Thems the breaks, indeed - for women who need mind-readers, anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I think he's trying to say, albeit in a crass way, that some women don't know how to get themselves off, so how could a partner possibly know how to? Some women aren't comfortable with their bodies, exploration or communication. That kind of inhibition isn't going to make it easy for a partner to be successful. But then, why are we always looking to men to give us orgasms? It should be a joint effort.

Lesbians manage to figure it out. Straight men are just as capable. No more excuses.

Yeah, they figure it out... then they decide the whole sex thing is not worth it and forget about it entirely.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lesbian_bed_death

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here, stop complaining and tell us exactly what you want to get the Big O! No hinting!

Women expect to lay on their back and fireworks go off. Before you get married make sure your woman can masturbate herself to an orgasm. Many are unable or unwilling to do this and just blame it on their partner.

Yep. In she can't get off without a 20-minute uninterrupted session with a plugged in personal massager, nothing you do will ever fix that.

If that's your attitude then I think she should keep the massager and bar you from her bed. You don't try to get her off? Why should she try to get you off then? No, sir.

I think he's trying to say, albeit in a crass way, that some women don't know how to get themselves off, so how could a partner possibly know how to? Some women aren't comfortable with their bodies, exploration or communication. That kind of inhibition isn't going to make it easy for a partner to be successful. But then, why are we always looking to men to give us orgasms? It should be a joint effort.

Lesbians manage to figure it out. Straight men are just as capable. No more excuses.

You're an idiot. If you can't give feedback and communicate with your partner, you don't deserve an orgasm. Lesbians have firsthand knowledge of how things feel so it's not a valid comparison.

I orgasm every time. And one of the reasons is because I don't put up with men who are bad in bed. If you can't get your partner to get off, YOU don't deserve an orgasm or sexual access. Buck the hell up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here, stop complaining and tell us exactly what you want to get the Big O! No hinting!

Women expect to lay on their back and fireworks go off. Before you get married make sure your woman can masturbate herself to an orgasm. Many are unable or unwilling to do this and just blame it on their partner.

Yep. In she can't get off without a 20-minute uninterrupted session with a plugged in personal massager, nothing you do will ever fix that.

If that's your attitude then I think she should keep the massager and bar you from her bed. You don't try to get her off? Why should she try to get you off then? No, sir.

I think he's trying to say, albeit in a crass way, that some women don't know how to get themselves off, so how could a partner possibly know how to? Some women aren't comfortable with their bodies, exploration or communication. That kind of inhibition isn't going to make it easy for a partner to be successful. But then, why are we always looking to men to give us orgasms? It should be a joint effort.

Lesbians manage to figure it out. Straight men are just as capable. No more excuses.

You're an idiot. If you can't give feedback and communicate with your partner, you don't deserve an orgasm. Lesbians have firsthand knowledge of how things feel so it's not a valid comparison.

I orgasm every time. And one of the reasons is because I don't put up with men who are bad in bed. If you can't get your partner to get off, YOU don't deserve an orgasm or sexual access. Buck the hell up.

How do you get him to get you off without communicating with him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here, stop complaining and tell us exactly what you want to get the Big O! No hinting!

Women expect to lay on their back and fireworks go off. Before you get married make sure your woman can masturbate herself to an orgasm. Many are unable or unwilling to do this and just blame it on their partner.

Yep. In she can't get off without a 20-minute uninterrupted session with a plugged in personal massager, nothing you do will ever fix that.

If that's your attitude then I think she should keep the massager and bar you from her bed. You don't try to get her off? Why should she try to get you off then? No, sir.

I think he's trying to say, albeit in a crass way, that some women don't know how to get themselves off, so how could a partner possibly know how to? Some women aren't comfortable with their bodies, exploration or communication. That kind of inhibition isn't going to make it easy for a partner to be successful. But then, why are we always looking to men to give us orgasms? It should be a joint effort.

Lesbians manage to figure it out. Straight men are just as capable. No more excuses.

You're an idiot. If you can't give feedback and communicate with your partner, you don't deserve an orgasm. Lesbians have firsthand knowledge of how things feel so it's not a valid comparison.

I orgasm every time. And one of the reasons is because I don't put up with men who are bad in bed. If you can't get your partner to get off, YOU don't deserve an orgasm or sexual access. Buck the hell up.

How do you get him to get you off without communicating with him?

Oh God. You really think good sex is dictating to someone and walking them through every step? Sex should not be that hard. If you require that level of handholding... well, sorry. I don't think there's hope for you. Accept your fate as being bad in bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here, stop complaining and tell us exactly what you want to get the Big O! No hinting!

Women expect to lay on their back and fireworks go off. Before you get married make sure your woman can masturbate herself to an orgasm. Many are unable or unwilling to do this and just blame it on their partner.

Yep. In she can't get off without a 20-minute uninterrupted session with a plugged in personal massager, nothing you do will ever fix that.

If that's your attitude then I think she should keep the massager and bar you from her bed. You don't try to get her off? Why should she try to get you off then? No, sir.

I think he's trying to say, albeit in a crass way, that some women don't know how to get themselves off, so how could a partner possibly know how to? Some women aren't comfortable with their bodies, exploration or communication. That kind of inhibition isn't going to make it easy for a partner to be successful. But then, why are we always looking to men to give us orgasms? It should be a joint effort.

Lesbians manage to figure it out. Straight men are just as capable. No more excuses.

You're an idiot. If you can't give feedback and communicate with your partner, you don't deserve an orgasm. Lesbians have firsthand knowledge of how things feel so it's not a valid comparison.

I orgasm every time. And one of the reasons is because I don't put up with men who are bad in bed. If you can't get your partner to get off, YOU don't deserve an orgasm or sexual access. Buck the hell up.

How do you get him to get you off without communicating with him?

Oh God. You really think good sex is dictating to someone and walking them through every step? Sex should not be that hard. If you require that level of handholding... well, sorry. I don't think there's hope for you. Accept your fate as being bad in bed.

Someone may be bad in bed, but I doubt it's PP.

[Anonymous]

My Dh is awful in bed. He was my first and it took me years to realize that this is not what sex should feel like. Interestingly, he is just as selfish with everything else as he is in bed. Waiting for our youngest to start school and then I will kick him to the curb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here, stop complaining and tell us exactly what you want to get the Big O! No hinting!

Women expect to lay on their back and fireworks go off. Before you get married make sure your woman can masturbate herself to an orgasm. Many are unable or unwilling to do this and just blame it on their partner.

Yep. In she can't get off without a 20-minute uninterrupted session with a plugged in personal massager, nothing you do will ever fix that.

If that's your attitude then I think she should keep the massager and bar you from her bed. You don't try to get her off? Why should she try to get you off then? No, sir.

I think he's trying to say, albeit in a crass way, that some women don't know how to get themselves off, so how could a partner possibly know how to? Some women aren't comfortable with their bodies, exploration or communication. That kind of inhibition isn't going to make it easy for a partner to be successful. But then, why are we always looking to men to give us orgasms? It should be a joint effort.

Lesbians manage to figure it out. Straight men are just as capable. No more excuses.

You're an idiot. If you can't give feedback and communicate with your partner, you don't deserve an orgasm. Lesbians have firsthand knowledge of how things feel so it's not a valid comparison.

I orgasm every time. And one of the reasons is because I don't put up with men who are bad in bed. If you can't get your partner to get off, YOU don't deserve an orgasm or sexual access. Buck the hell up.

How do you get him to get you off without communicating with him?

Oh God. You really think good sex is dictating to someone and walking them through every step? Sex should not be that hard. If you require that level of handholding... well, sorry. I don't think there's hope for you. Accept your fate as being bad in bed.

Someone may be bad in bed, but I doubt it's PP.

NP. Pretty sure it is.

[Anonymous]

OP here....I'm not really talking about communication or lack thereof. I have no problem expressing what I want. My problem is DH just flat out says "that's not what I want to do". Other than this, he isn't selfish in any way at all.

I don't think he has bad intentions. I think it's a combination of lack of knowledge how women work, embarrassment that he can't get it right, and he has this idea that women think it's sexy to be bossed around in bed (which may be true, but not in the way he does it).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here....I'm not really talking about communication or lack thereof. I have no problem expressing what I want. My problem is DH just flat out says "that's not what I want to do". Other than this, he isn't selfish in any way at all.

I don't think he has bad intentions. I think it's a combination of lack of knowledge how women work, embarrassment that he can't get it right, and he has this idea that women think it's sexy to be bossed around in bed (which may be true, but not in the way he does it).

Careful. If he doesn't want to do something sexually, that's his right. Refusing to perform acts that you want him to perform does not make him selfish. Pressuring him to do things in bed that he doesn't want to do and complaining that he does not do them is poor form, imo.