No Good Deed Goes Unpunished - surprise party edition

[Anonymous]

She's nervous and anxious. Excited too I bet. Sweet what you are doing

[Anonymous]

Tell her she can pick the food at he prearranged restaurant and be satisfied with that, or cancel the party. She is not someone who deserves surprise party, when what she really wants to do is plan an expensive party that she cannot afford and have someone else pick up the tab.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's nervous and anxious. Excited too I bet. Sweet what you are doing

[Anonymous]

Cancel the party. Tell her it's because she's an ungrateful bitch.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry OP.

I don't have any magic advice for you, just sympathy.

I generally agree with "Mom, this is what we planned and we put a great deal of effort in to try to make this special for you. Many people are making a significant effort to celebrate your birthday with this event. We cannot make the changes you are requesting at this point, but we can cancel the whole thing if that is what you would prefer. If you want us to call it off let me know by Friday so we can notify the venue and anyone who has made travel arrangements."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her you made all the changes she requested
That way the party is still a surprise,when she finds out that you did not!!
??

LOL This is funny.

OP, keep on planning as usual. I'm curious to know what your Dad said to her requests?

[Anonymous]

I hated the surprise party my DH threw for my 40th. The party was perfectly nice, but I hate surprises generally. Despise them.

He promised never to do that again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that you need to just keep the party going as planned, and do your best to get through it.

But I will say that I am a socially self conscious person, maybe socially anxious is a better word, and would hate a surprise party. It's not "keeping up with the Joneses", but I wouldn't like to show up to a situation I wasn't aware of. I am also really nervous and stressed throwing parties.
I've always been like this, and my husband knows to never throw me a surprise party.
Just wanted to throw it out there that she may be genuinely nervous and anxious

+1

I'm an introvert who values close friendships and hates big groups of people (even friends). A surprise party is my biggest nightmare.

[Anonymous]

Surprise parties are usually bad ideas. If they are older, it might give them a heart attack. She obviously doesn't like the surprise aspect of not being in control at all of you and your dad planning it. Have you tried just humoring her, telling her it will turn out fine?

[Anonymous]

This sounds like my mom too. Never throw any more surprises at her ever again op, she's anxious high strung and just can't handle it. Tell her to call the person who ruined it and complain to him or her instead.

[Anonymous]

OP, You can still things around. Ask the other restaurant if they have availability at that time, and surprise her again by having party at the place she wishes.

I am sure budgeting part can also be reworked. Come on guys, Mom turns 70 only once.

[Anonymous]

Personally I'd cancel -- it doesn't sound like this is her idea of a good party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is one of my biggest pet peeves. People who try to do something "nice for you", but it's not what you want at all. Stop trying to force something that she doesn't want down her throat and listen to what she wants. I would be mortified if I was your mother in this scenario.

Wow, the crazies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cancel the party. Tell her it's because she's an ungrateful bitch.

+1.

There must be a Hallmark card for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Disinvite the blabbermouth.

2. Warn your mom she's next.

Just kidding. Grin and bear it. Maybe fine one showy thing that isn't set in stone yet (flowers, cake, champagne choices?) and give her a couple options to choose from?

Sounds like a plan