My son's wife does not work.....

[Anonymous]

Don't say a word, please, OP. Why?
Because if your son gets upset, it must be because it's ALREADY a sore subject. Don't make it worse.

Does your DIL have a marketable degree and work experience? She may have an "invisible" issue that is hampering her career. It could be depression, anxiety, ADHD, anything.

[Anonymous]

DIL could also have health issues or something else personal she doesn't want to share with you that makes it hard to have a job.

[Anonymous]

I don't work full-time, we have no kids, and a great marriage. Been married 15 years. So to those who are bitter and saying he will be on to a second marriage, likely not. And if you think not having kids is weird you're living in the Dark Ages. These are modern times, and couples get to choose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't work full-time, we have no kids, and a great marriage. Been married 15 years. So to those who are bitter and saying he will be on to a second marriage, likely not. And if you think not having kids is weird you're living in the Dark Ages. These are modern times, and couples get to choose.

Lazy bum

[Anonymous]

Op here: Look I really am not trying to attack her. She has done so much for my son. He's no longer a pot head because of her, she found him his current job when he was unhappy with his last, she took care of everything involved in buying their current house. He is in a very good place because of her and they both seem very happy together. I just don't get why she doesn't work. I'm also not the pp complaining about no grand kids, I already have grand kids through my other son. I don't understand why they don't want kids, but I'm not playing the I will never have grand kids card. I just don't want my son to support someone for the rest of his life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:....and this is your business because......?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here: Look I really am not trying to attack her. She has done so much for my son. He's no longer a pot head because of her, she found him his current job when he was unhappy with his last, she took care of everything involved in buying their current house. He is in a very good place because of her and they both seem very happy together. I just don't get why she doesn't work. I'm also not the pp complaining about no grand kids, I already have grand kids through my other son. I don't understand why they don't want kids, but I'm not playing the I will never have grand kids card. I just don't want my son to support someone for the rest of his life.

Why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here: Look I really am not trying to attack her. She has done so much for my son. He's no longer a pot head because of her, she found him his current job when he was unhappy with his last, she took care of everything involved in buying their current house. He is in a very good place because of her and they both seem very happy together. I just don't get why she doesn't work. I'm also not the pp complaining about no grand kids, I already have grand kids through my other son. I don't understand why they don't want kids, but I'm not playing the I will never have grand kids card. I just don't want my son to support someone for the rest of his life.

Wow, so you say that she has supported your son for 7 years and got his life together, then you turn around and say that you don't want your son to support someone for the rest of his life? That's pretty ungrateful, because from what you wrote it seems like she's been supporting your son, and he's enough of a wreck that it's a full time job.

[Anonymous]

I never worked full time again after getting married and we waited 7 years to have kids. If they're happy then that's all that matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here: Look I really am not trying to attack her. She has done so much for my son. He's no longer a pot head because of her, she found him his current job when he was unhappy with his last, she took care of everything involved in buying their current house. He is in a very good place because of her and they both seem very happy together. I just don't get why she doesn't work. I'm also not the pp complaining about no grand kids, I already have grand kids through my other son. I don't understand why they don't want kids, but I'm not playing the I will never have grand kids card. I just don't want my son to support someone for the rest of his life.

Holy crap you are an enormous hypocrite. Do you truly not see this?

[Anonymous]

Hilarious troll. If you are serious, just pull him aside and say son, you are about to destroy your life. He will be forever grateful and you will both laugh about it one day.

[Anonymous]

Well...he married her right? He must be o.k. with this set up. They really don't need to explain this to you, Op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hilarious troll. If you are serious, just pull him aside and say son, you are about to destroy your life. He will be forever grateful and you will both laugh about it one day.

Yeah, you do that BEFORE the wedding. If you really MUST.

[Anonymous]

How do you know he'll be supporting her the rest of his life? Maybe this is temporary. You say she likely supported him during their early years so perhaps they are just evening things out. You sound very judgemental. Your then 27 YO son was a hot mess (and she was only 20) and she helped him get straightened out. Try a little gratitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't they plan to have kids that is weird and she doesn't work

Op here and I don't know why they don't want kids. I've tried to ask, but all I get is they have thought about it and decided it's not for them.

OP, maybe they did and have fertility issues. I've known plenty women who haven't wanted to discuss fertility issues with their in-laws.

Seriously, OP, you really sound so full a judgement. Maybe your DIL is trying to figure out what to do with her life. Maybe some dark stuff that you don't know about happened in her past. Why not just try being a friend and be supportive. Stop hinting and asking questions. Friends don't have to do this. Accept her for who she is and maybe she'll blossom.

+1. I really have to agree with this advice OP. You are making assumptions about why she doesn't work. Maybe she has anxiety herself and this is how she manages it. Maybe she has a physical issue she doesn't want to share. Maybe she is working on writing a book. Maybe your son is turned on by being the sole provider and she goes along with it because the sex is awesome. Maybe you really don't want to know the reason! If they're happy and this works for them, leave it alone. I agree with PP to accept her for who she is.