DH says he wants to quit his job....and just take time off

[Anonymous]

Hmm, nothing wrong with early retirement if you can afford it, and it sounds like you can. That is our plan if we can swing it - get out of the rat race as soon as we can to enjoy whatever few years of health we have left. It makes no sense to keep working till you are sick and frail and cant do anything if you have the means to stop. OP is just too materialustic to see it. To each his own.

[Anonymous]

Compromise- have him continue to work until the youngest is out of college. Downsize now- take half of that savings and save more and half and spend it on your new car. Then he retires and you work for 6 more years. That gives you 10 more years of work and 4 more years for DH (have him look at how his pension increases with each year- increases % plus decreased penalty for early retirement).

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you can afford for him to retire, and he's burnt out. He definitely shouldn't keep working just to buy you baubles. That's nutters. If it were my spouse, I would worry about:

- his ability to get back to work if he decides he hates it or you have large, unexpected expenses. But honestly, it sounds like you have the assets to cover almost any unexpected expense.
- his plans for his time. does he have some hobby or interest? or just plan on figuring that out later? A lot of people get super-depressed at retirement, realizing that they have little outside of work to keep them productive. He should put in some effort to try to make a plan his "time off" or retirement.

Is the issue that YOU don't want to keep working? Why are you? Can you cut back your hours and enjoy his retirement or timeoff a bit? Is there a compromise solution whereby you both keep working one more year or so to reach X financial goal and then retire together?

[Anonymous]

I was a SAHM, and it took me years to get back to the point where DH is on the career ladder. I'm actually now just hitting my stride career-wise.

[Anonymous]

I also feel DH owes me for the years I took off to raise the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also feel DH owes me for the years I took off to raise the kids.

? Was this a unilateral decision by your DH, or did you come to this agreement with your DH? If so, then this was partly your choice, no? Is your DH telling you to quit or scale back? Did I miss that part somewhere (seriously, maybe I did)? If not, then what does your career status have to do with him wanting to scale back?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also feel DH owes me for the years I took off to raise the kids.

Haha you sound like one crazy bi$ch.

[Anonymous]

Op ~ meet with a financial planner.

Know what retirement income and lifestyle outlook will look like, to compare. Perhaps your husband has done this and determined that his priorities are vastly different from yours. In that case - - I think this is his decision. You can choose to like it or not. You may adjust, you may not. You'll have to determine in the future if it's a marriage deal breaker. But it is his life. He been responsible enough. I think it's his choice.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like a lot of stressful changes relating to the children leaving the nest.

[Anonymous]

... Like my DH always wants to downsize eat food from a can and live in a cabin in the woods. Not realistic. But.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also feel DH owes me for the years I took off to raise the kids.

You sound like the wife I am now divorcing.

[Anonymous]

What a beta move.

[Anonymous]

If you downsize to eliminate the mortgage and he collects the pension, why can't he retire? You now make 115k which would be plenty but without a mortgage, its luxury. The only issue would be kids college costs and the like, which it sounded like it's taken care of. Why begrudge him his happiness when he's toiled all these years for yours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also feel DH owes me for the years I took off to raise the kids.

Is your math 1 year of work outside the home equals 1.5 years with the kids? I still don't understand what math you are doing why his number of working years should be 10 or 11 more years than yours? You are not the same age. If you said you and DH are the same age and you sacrificed time to stay at home with the kids and this means you can't retire until age 60 and he is retiring now at 55 I could maybe understand the bitterness. But assuming he fully supports you retiring at 55 too what the heck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have been married for 20 years. DH is 55, me 44. Our last child will be leaving for college in the fall. DH says once DD is gone, he would like to downsize the house, declutter, and move to one of our smaller rental properties in the area. He also says he thinks is time for him to quit his job and take some time off. After 20 years of supporting a wife and family, he says he's burnt out. However, I resent he thinks I should keep working. I've only been able to really rests lush myself in my career and just gained a six figure income for the first time. I would like to to treat myself to some nice things, like a new car, maybe some brand name fashion items, etc.

DH is eligible to retire now, and would net some money from his Federal pension. Selling the house would save $2500 per month and we would net about $300K from the sale. His pension would bring in $2600 per month, and he says he could do some part time work to add to his income. I make about $115K per year.

I think he is being childish and selfish and needs to buck up for another 10 years or do.

Very interesting. I have no real suggestions for you, but I have to say - it does not sound all that bad to me. It is sort of liberating. Why do you think he wants to quit his job? Does he not like it? Does he anticipate bringing in at least some income? What does he intend to do all day?