DH says he wants to quit his job....and just take time off

[Anonymous]

We have been married for 20 years. DH is 55, me 44. Our last child will be leaving for college in the fall. DH says once DD is gone, he would like to downsize the house, declutter, and move to one of our smaller rental properties in the area. He also says he thinks is time for him to quit his job and take some time off. After 20 years of supporting a wife and family, he says he's burnt out. However, I resent he thinks I should keep working. I've only been able to really rests lush myself in my career and just gained a six figure income for the first time. I would like to to treat myself to some nice things, like a new car, maybe some brand name fashion items, etc.

DH is eligible to retire now, and would net some money from his Federal pension. Selling the house would save $2500 per month and we would net about $300K from the sale. His pension would bring in $2600 per month, and he says he could do some part time work to add to his income. I make about $115K per year.

I think he is being childish and selfish and needs to buck up for another 10 years or do.

[Anonymous]

What field is he in? At his age, is he confident he could get another job, given the economy and the realities of age discrimination? Does he want to take time off or really just retire now? What does he want to do with his time when he stops working?

Luxury items are not a reason to keep working. But retirement nest egg is. How much do you have in savings and retirement accounts? How many properties do you own and what are they worth? What's your wealth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have been married for 20 years. DH is 55, me 44. Our last child will be leaving for college in the fall. DH says once DD is gone, he would like to downsize the house, declutter, and move to one of our smaller rental properties in the area. He also says he thinks is time for him to quit his job and take some time off. After 20 years of supporting a wife and family, he says he's burnt out. However, I resent he thinks I should keep working. I've only been able to really rests lush myself in my career and just gained a six figure income for the first time. I would like to to treat myself to some nice things, like a new car, maybe some brand name fashion items, etc.

DH is eligible to retire now, and would net some money from his Federal pension. Selling the house would save $2500 per month and we would net about $300K from the sale. His pension would bring in $2600 per month, and he says he could do some part time work to add to his income. I make about $115K per year.

I think he is being childish and selfish and needs to buck up for another 10 years or do.

This isn't a real post.
Nice try!
If it is by some small chance your DH isn't the selfish one.

[Anonymous]

DH is in international trade. He helps mostly very large corporations - think the likes of Boeing, GE, Raythron, etc. - -make sales to overseas customers.

We own four properties worth a total of $1.5 million and we have equity of 650,000 and additional savings of $300,000. My DH pension is worth about $800,000.

[Anonymous]

Why does his plan for relaxing depend on you working?

Tell him to come up with a plan for both of you to retire.

[Anonymous]

If he retires now there's a decent chance he'll never get a meaningful job again. At 55 hell get bored and frustrated soon but they won't take him back. He probably just needs some time off. Maybe he can get a sabbatical or something. He doesn't have a plan and if he is serious about this he needs a plan. It sounds like he hasn't thought things through financially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does his plan for relaxing depend on you working?

Tell him to come up with a plan for both of you to retire.

OP's husband is 11 years older than she is. He is nearing retirement age (albeit relatively early retirement); OP is not.

[Anonymous]

I'm confused. So you mean you plan to retire when you are 65? Because you expect him to work for another 10 years or so I assume you have the same expectation for yourself to work until you are 65? I've had some form of a job since I was 14 and I hope I don't still have to work at 65.

In situations I've seen with an age gap (like 10 years) and the husband has a pension or saved for retirement, I've seen the husband retire from the day job and take on a less demanding job part-time job for extra income while wife is still working full-time. So it makes sense to me that he would pseudo retire while you still work. I would just have similar questions as other posters like if he changes his mind and decides it's too boring, how easy will it be to get that job back or find a comfortable job being in his mid 50's? Could he try a sabbatical first? You say the last one left for college, not the he/she finished so how does this potential change impact paying for college?

[Anonymous]

He should quit his job and divorce you, OP LOL

[Anonymous]

He can't quit his job unless he has another one lined up. He won't find another one after taking time off. He should look for a less stressful job or perhaps talk to his current employer about cutting back to 30 hours/week.

Retiring too early is risky. And 55 is way too early. Cutting back is the way to go, and 30 hours/week should do the trick.

[Anonymous]

You are greedy OP. You want him to keep working so you can satisfy your desire for vulgar material goods. Shameful.

[Anonymous]

Was he always planning to retire at 55? What did he say about it when you discussed before you got married?

My DH is also 11 years older than me. We had a lot of conversations about expectations for retirement before we got married, to make sure we are both on the same page.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are greedy OP. You want him to keep working so you can satisfy your desire for vulgar material goods. Shameful.

How is desire for luxury goods any worse than wanting to sit on one's ass all day long starting at age 55? Unless there is a serious health condition I despise people who want to retire to early. There was even a sponge Bob episode that made fun of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he retires now there's a decent chance he'll never get a meaningful job again. At 55 hell get bored and frustrated soon but they won't take him back. He probably just needs some time off. Maybe he can get a sabbatical or something. He doesn't have a plan and if he is serious about this he needs a plan. It sounds like he hasn't thought things through financially.

+1
It will be just like when mr krabs retired so that he could go to museums etc and ended up with begging to work as waiter or something in his own restaurant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are greedy OP. You want him to keep working so you can satisfy your desire for vulgar material goods. Shameful.

How is desire for luxury goods any worse than wanting to sit on one's ass all day long starting at age 55? Unless there is a serious health condition I despise people who want to retire to early. There was even a sponge Bob episode that made fun of this.

What?

My parents retired early (50 and 40) and have been traveling (in a frugal manner) ever since. They do not sit on their asses all day long, unlike when they were working. They're by no means rich but have planned their finances out very carefully.