Repulsed by role playing idea

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your relationship is not done, but you do need to work harder to be kind and meet somewhere in the middle, OP. If you truly cannot handle the cheerleader fantasy, ask him for other ideas in a good-hearted effort to find one that appeals to you. But, for the sake of your relationship, keep an open mind and don't tell him you find any of them repulsive.

I agree with this over the PP but I will say: if you do keep up the sex-shaming, you will kill any trust and intimacy in your relationship, and that will be a mortal blow to the relationship overall...You only get a few whacks like that before you kill off any willingness on his part to be vulnerable to you by sharing his intimate desires. This is exactly like some man telling his wife she is fat and disgusting and then wondering why she won't have sex with him anymore.

Once told Ex-W that I'd enjoy taking sexy pictures of her. She told me that was disgusting and perverse. Found out a year later that she had allowed a previous BF to take nude pictures, so you can imagine how that made me feel.

(That's not the reason she's the ex, but it certainly wasn't a high point of the marriage.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cheerleaders don't have to be teenagers. You know there are professional cheerleaders as well? Take a few shots of tequila and put on the costume.

Also, sexy lingerie doesn't sound like role playing. As another PP suggested, is there any other role you don't find repulsive?

Story from two years ago...

NP here, and I have nothing against the cheerleader fantasy, but let's be real: when people fantasize about cheerleaders, they are probably not envisioning a 40-year-old.

But that's a nice story and all, if not a clever marketing ploy to attract more female fans who fit the 40-year-old's demographic.

[Anonymous]

Haha. My wife has a cheerleader outfit. I love it!

Good times!

There's no need to do anything that you don't want to. Just something else he'd enjoy.

[Anonymous]

How about a hot session of "Cock Roach and Orkin Man"!

[Anonymous]

As a DH whose wife reacted very negatively when I tried to share fantasies, I can tell you that he will find a way to explore them with or without you. I would posit that the more vehemently you reject him for his fantasies, the more threatening to your marriage his outlet will be. The man bared his soul to you and you shut him down and basically told him he is a deviant.

What could possibly go wrong?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a DH whose wife reacted very negatively when I tried to share fantasies, I can tell you that he will find a way to explore them with or without you. I would posit that the more vehemently you reject him for his fantasies, the more threatening to your marriage his outlet will be. The man bared his soul to you and you shut him down and basically told him he is a deviant.

What could possibly go wrong?

+1. I've always told my wife that when it comes to sex, I'm always going to invite her first.

[Anonymous]

You're being unreasonable.

If my DH thought I looked hot in a cheerleader outfit is stick my middle aged rear into one tout suite!

As it is I asked HIM just yesterday if he ever had any role playing ideas & he said what's that ...
I explained the whole pool boy concept to him. No. He doesn't want to do any of that. But if he did,
I'd do it. If it's fun why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cheerleaders don't have to be teenagers. You know there are professional cheerleaders as well? Take a few shots of tequila and put on the costume.

Also, sexy lingerie doesn't sound like role playing. As another PP suggested, is there any other role you don't find repulsive?

Story from two years ago...

NP here, and I have nothing against the cheerleader fantasy, but let's be real: when people fantasize about cheerleaders, they are probably not envisioning a 40-year-old.

But that's a nice story and all, if not a clever marketing ploy to attract more female fans who fit the 40-year-old's demographic.

See, now that's out in public - that's embarrassing. Once you have kids at home your boobies really should only be shaking around in private..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PS. I suspect you hate strippers, boob jobs, false eyelashes, thong tan lines .. Or anything else men lust after.


Real men gotta have it and gonna get it.

This is mostly what I see my gay male friends in when they dress up as drag queens.
Honestly. If you aren't a gay man and you lust after these things be careful who you are picking up, honey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cheerleaders don't have to be teenagers. You know there are professional cheerleaders as well? Take a few shots of tequila and put on the costume.

Also, sexy lingerie doesn't sound like role playing. As another PP suggested, is there any other role you don't find repulsive?

Story from two years ago...

NP here, and I have nothing against the cheerleader fantasy, but let's be real: when people fantasize about cheerleaders, they are probably not envisioning a 40-year-old.

But that's a nice story and all, if not a clever marketing ploy to attract more female fans who fit the 40-year-old's demographic.

See, now that's out in public - that's embarrassing. Once you have kids at home your boobies really should only be shaking around in private..

In that top? Her boobs are strapped down like a mattress on top of a station wagon. Doubt they're doing much shaking at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a DH whose wife reacted very negatively when I tried to share fantasies, I can tell you that he will find a way to explore them with or without you. I would posit that the more vehemently you reject him for his fantasies, the more threatening to your marriage his outlet will be. The man bared his soul to you and you shut him down and basically told him he is a deviant.

What could possibly go wrong?

Another DH who had a very common fantasy shot down by my wife, with a "that's weird" attached. Rest assured, I stopped sharing fantasies. I found someone online who has the same reciprocal fantasy so it's a safe outlet although the temptation to meet irl is strong.

Op, I don't think you realize how destructive you are being to your relationship

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cheerleaders don't have to be teenagers. You know there are professional cheerleaders as well? Take a few shots of tequila and put on the costume.

Also, sexy lingerie doesn't sound like role playing. As another PP suggested, is there any other role you don't find repulsive?

Story from two years ago...

NP here, and I have nothing against the cheerleader fantasy, but let's be real: when people fantasize about cheerleaders, they are probably not envisioning a 40-year-old.

But that's a nice story and all, if not a clever marketing ploy to attract more female fans who fit the 40-year-old's demographic.

See, now that's out in public - that's embarrassing. Once you have kids at home your boobies really should only be shaking around in private..

In that top? Her boobs are strapped down like a mattress on top of a station wagon. Doubt they're doing much shaking at all.

I think she looks gorgeous and she can do what she likes with her body....whether or not she has kids at home.

OP it's really not repulsive what he asked of you. If it makes you feel better get one that's clearly from a college and pretend you are a Senior about to graduate. Maybe he could pretend to be the genius professor or something. Sounds fun!
-a 41 yo DW

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH says he wants to spice up our sex life with costumes. He wants me to be a cheerleader. I find this idea repulsive. Is he thinking of teenagers? I told him I will do sexy lingerie, but no way any cheerleader stuff. Am I being unreasonable?

You are not being a good sexual partner. "Cheerleader"" is the mildest, most vanilla fantasy around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cheerleaders don't have to be teenagers. You know there are professional cheerleaders as well? Take a few shots of tequila and put on the costume.

Also, sexy lingerie doesn't sound like role playing. As another PP suggested, is there any other role you don't find repulsive?

Story from two years ago...

NP here, and I have nothing against the cheerleader fantasy, but let's be real: when people fantasize about cheerleaders, they are probably not envisioning a 40-year-old.

But that's a nice story and all, if not a clever marketing ploy to attract more female fans who fit the 40-year-old's demographic.

See, now that's out in public - that's embarrassing. Once you have kids at home your boobies really should only be shaking around in private..

In that top? Her boobs are strapped down like a mattress on top of a station wagon. Doubt they're doing much shaking at all.

Micro-jiggling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH says he wants to spice up our sex life with costumes. He wants me to be a cheerleader. I find this idea repulsive. Is he thinking of teenagers? I told him I will do sexy lingerie, but no way any cheerleader stuff. Am I being unreasonable?

You are not being a good sexual partner. "Cheerleader"" is the mildest, most vanilla fantasy around.

Name some others, please.