He's bisexual, should I pursue a relationship.

[Anonymous]

As a gay man with a large circle of gay friends I am somewhat suspicious of men who claim to be bisexual because experience has told me that the majority (99%?) eventually turn out to be...well....gay and bisexuality was just a form of coming to terms with their homosexuality. There *are* men who seem to be successfully bisexual but if grindr or anecdotes are anything to go by most of them will continue to sleep with men after marriage or commitment with a woman. I'm currently single but when I navigate grindr/friends of friends for dates or one night stands, the "bisexual" men all admit to sleeping around on the sly and I immediately rule those out because I'm not getting involved with a cheating man no matter how good looking he may be. I do have ethical standards

If someone was bicurious in college and had a few experiences but is more interested in women and wants to have a life with a woman, that person would keep his mouth shut and his bisexual history a private secret just like we (most of us) don't necessarily tell our spouses about all our sexual activities when young and horny. But if a man openly states he's bisexual on a date with a woman.... well, no, that is mostly not a good sign. If a woman came to me soliciting for advice on a prospective bisexual male partner, I would say, "don't do it." This is one of the few areas where it does not pay to be very open minded.

Some of you may not want to hear this but bisexuality seems to be easier and more frequent among women than among men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a gay man with a large circle of gay friends I am somewhat suspicious of men who claim to be bisexual because experience has told me that the majority (99%?) eventually turn out to be...well....gay and bisexuality was just a form of coming to terms with their homosexuality. There *are* men who seem to be successfully bisexual but if grindr or anecdotes are anything to go by most of them will continue to sleep with men after marriage or commitment with a woman. I'm currently single but when I navigate grindr/friends of friends for dates or one night stands, the "bisexual" men all admit to sleeping around on the sly and I immediately rule those out because I'm not getting involved with a cheating man no matter how good looking he may be. I do have ethical standards

If someone was bicurious in college and had a few experiences but is more interested in women and wants to have a life with a woman, that person would keep his mouth shut and his bisexual history a private secret just like we (most of us) don't necessarily tell our spouses about all our sexual activities when young and horny. But if a man openly states he's bisexual on a date with a woman.... well, no, that is mostly not a good sign. If a woman came to me soliciting for advice on a prospective bisexual male partner, I would say, "don't do it." This is one of the few areas where it does not pay to be very open minded.

Some of you may not want to hear this but bisexuality seems to be easier and more frequent among women than among men.

Bisexuality may be more frequent among women. But your sample size is also not representative. You probably aren't meeting a lot of bisexual men who end up in long term monogamous relationships with women on Grindr. And honestly, it isn't your place to police someone's identity.

[Anonymous]

It's true I did not conduct a formally verified survey on bisexual men. I just base on what my observations of being a sexually active and dating gay male for the last 20 years, as well as my pretty large and diverse circle of gay friends which run the gamut from campy drama queens who like to wear drag to hardcore suburban Republicans you wouldn't blink twice at in a local mall. We all have observed and agreed there is a pattern of behavior among bisexual men that repeats itself over and over again so that it's not surprising.

I'll reiterate what I said earlier. If you're interested in dating a "bisexual" man, whether in a MM or MF relationship, proceed with caution. Odds are pretty good he will cheat with the opposite gender. If that doesn't matter to you, then I won't judge your relationship (for god's sake, I'm a gay male and many of us have/had pretty open relationships) but if monogamy is important, once again, proceed with extreme caution.

Anonymous wrote:

Bisexuality may be more frequent among women. But your sample size is also not representative. You probably aren't meeting a lot of bisexual men who end up in long term monogamous relationships with women on Grindr. And honestly, it isn't your place to police someone's identity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's true I did not conduct a formally verified survey on bisexual men. I just base on what my observations of being a sexually active and dating gay male for the last 20 years, as well as my pretty large and diverse circle of gay friends which run the gamut from campy drama queens who like to wear drag to hardcore suburban Republicans you wouldn't blink twice at in a local mall. We all have observed and agreed there is a pattern of behavior among bisexual men that repeats itself over and over again so that it's not surprising.

I'll reiterate what I said earlier. If you're interested in dating a "bisexual" man, whether in a MM or MF relationship, proceed with caution. Odds are pretty good he will cheat with the opposite gender. If that doesn't matter to you, then I won't judge your relationship (for god's sake, I'm a gay male and many of us have/had pretty open relationships) but if monogamy is important, once again, proceed with extreme caution.

Anonymous wrote:

Bisexuality may be more frequent among women. But your sample size is also not representative. You probably aren't meeting a lot of bisexual men who end up in long term monogamous relationships with women on Grindr. And honestly, it isn't your place to police someone's identity.

You're stereotyping bisexuals as cheaters. But believe what you will.

- Monogamous bisexual

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't be desperate. You might be divorced and lonely, but that doesn't mean you have to settle for a man who has sex with other men. Have the self esteem to walk away from his issues. I say this as a woman who once wasted a year with a bisexual out of loneliness.

Your story is not everyone's story. Stop projecting. [/quote

But her experience is just as valid. Grow up !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't be desperate. You might be divorced and lonely, but that doesn't mean you have to settle for a man who has sex with other men. Have the self esteem to walk away from his issues. I say this as a woman who once wasted a year with a bisexual out of loneliness.

Your story is not everyone's story. Stop projecting. [/quote

But her experience is just as valid. Grow up !

Sure, for herself. Projecting it onto everyone else and making blanket statements is what assholes do.

[Anonymous]

There's an element of truth at the core of just about all stereotypes....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's true I did not conduct a formally verified survey on bisexual men. I just base on what my observations of being a sexually active and dating gay male for the last 20 years, as well as my pretty large and diverse circle of gay friends which run the gamut from campy drama queens who like to wear drag to hardcore suburban Republicans you wouldn't blink twice at in a local mall. We all have observed and agreed there is a pattern of behavior among bisexual men that repeats itself over and over again so that it's not surprising.

I'll reiterate what I said earlier. If you're interested in dating a "bisexual" man, whether in a MM or MF relationship, proceed with caution. Odds are pretty good he will cheat with the opposite gender. If that doesn't matter to you, then I won't judge your relationship (for god's sake, I'm a gay male and many of us have/had pretty open relationships) but if monogamy is important, once again, proceed with extreme caution.

Anonymous wrote:

Bisexuality may be more frequent among women. But your sample size is also not representative. You probably aren't meeting a lot of bisexual men who end up in long term monogamous relationships with women on Grindr. And honestly, it isn't your place to police someone's identity.

You're stereotyping bisexuals as cheaters. But believe what you will.

- Monogamous bisexual

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's an element of truth at the core of just about all stereotypes....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's true I did not conduct a formally verified survey on bisexual men. I just base on what my observations of being a sexually active and dating gay male for the last 20 years, as well as my pretty large and diverse circle of gay friends which run the gamut from campy drama queens who like to wear drag to hardcore suburban Republicans you wouldn't blink twice at in a local mall. We all have observed and agreed there is a pattern of behavior among bisexual men that repeats itself over and over again so that it's not surprising.

I'll reiterate what I said earlier. If you're interested in dating a "bisexual" man, whether in a MM or MF relationship, proceed with caution. Odds are pretty good he will cheat with the opposite gender. If that doesn't matter to you, then I won't judge your relationship (for god's sake, I'm a gay male and many of us have/had pretty open relationships) but if monogamy is important, once again, proceed with extreme caution.

Anonymous wrote:

Bisexuality may be more frequent among women. But your sample size is also not representative. You probably aren't meeting a lot of bisexual men who end up in long term monogamous relationships with women on Grindr. And honestly, it isn't your place to police someone's identity.

You're stereotyping bisexuals as cheaters. But believe what you will.

- Monogamous bisexual

Any evidence besides your biased experience?

[Anonymous]

Is there any such thing as an unbiased experience?

Whatever.

I've had enough experience with bisexual men - along with those of friends - to make me suspicious about the prospects of monogamy in a relationship with such a man. Any man who announces that he's bisexual on a date with a woman is sending out red flags. Maybe he's the exception. Maybe not. Either way it doesn't invalidate my life experience and if you want to shout that I'm sexist or discriminatory, go ahead.

Anonymous wrote:

Any evidence besides your biased experience?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a gay man with a large circle of gay friends I am somewhat suspicious of men who claim to be bisexual because experience has told me that the majority (99%?) eventually turn out to be...well....gay and bisexuality was just a form of coming to terms with their homosexuality. There *are* men who seem to be successfully bisexual but if grindr or anecdotes are anything to go by most of them will continue to sleep with men after marriage or commitment with a woman. I'm currently single but when I navigate grindr/friends of friends for dates or one night stands, the "bisexual" men all admit to sleeping around on the sly and I immediately rule those out because I'm not getting involved with a cheating man no matter how good looking he may be. I do have ethical standards

If someone was bicurious in college and had a few experiences but is more interested in women and wants to have a life with a woman, that person would keep his mouth shut and his bisexual history a private secret just like we (most of us) don't necessarily tell our spouses about all our sexual activities when young and horny. But if a man openly states he's bisexual on a date with a woman.... well, no, that is mostly not a good sign. If a woman came to me soliciting for advice on a prospective bisexual male partner, I would say, "don't do it." This is one of the few areas where it does not pay to be very open minded.

Some of you may not want to hear this but bisexuality seems to be easier and more frequent among women than among men.

Bisexuality may be more frequent among women. But your sample size is also not representative. You probably aren't meeting a lot of bisexual men who end up in long term monogamous relationships with women on Grindr. And honestly, it isn't your place to police someone's identity.

He said that he sees men married or in relationships with women on there. I think that what he says is probably true. Women who are in relationships with bisexual men just don't want to admit it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a gay man with a large circle of gay friends I am somewhat suspicious of men who claim to be bisexual because experience has told me that the majority (99%?) eventually turn out to be...well....gay and bisexuality was just a form of coming to terms with their homosexuality. There *are* men who seem to be successfully bisexual but if grindr or anecdotes are anything to go by most of them will continue to sleep with men after marriage or commitment with a woman. I'm currently single but when I navigate grindr/friends of friends for dates or one night stands, the "bisexual" men all admit to sleeping around on the sly and I immediately rule those out because I'm not getting involved with a cheating man no matter how good looking he may be. I do have ethical standards

If someone was bicurious in college and had a few experiences but is more interested in women and wants to have a life with a woman, that person would keep his mouth shut and his bisexual history a private secret just like we (most of us) don't necessarily tell our spouses about all our sexual activities when young and horny. But if a man openly states he's bisexual on a date with a woman.... well, no, that is mostly not a good sign. If a woman came to me soliciting for advice on a prospective bisexual male partner, I would say, "don't do it." This is one of the few areas where it does not pay to be very open minded.

Some of you may not want to hear this but bisexuality seems to be easier and more frequent among women than among men.

Bisexuality may be more frequent among women. But your sample size is also not representative. You probably aren't meeting a lot of bisexual men who end up in long term monogamous relationships with women on Grindr. And honestly, it isn't your place to police someone's identity.

He said that he sees men married or in relationships with women on there. I think that what he says is probably true. Women who are in relationships with bisexual men just don't want to admit it.

What I'm saying is that he isn't going to ever run across the people who are monogamous. I'm bi. I have many bi friends. Some are polyamorous but that is it. Believe what you want. It is insulting to lump an entire category of people together. It is no different than saying all gay men have HIV.

This thread has devolved into biphobia though, not to mention it is months old so hopefully OP has sorted out what she wants to do by now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a gay man with a large circle of gay friends I am somewhat suspicious of men who claim to be bisexual because experience has told me that the majority (99%?) eventually turn out to be...well....gay and bisexuality was just a form of coming to terms with their homosexuality. There *are* men who seem to be successfully bisexual but if grindr or anecdotes are anything to go by most of them will continue to sleep with men after marriage or commitment with a woman. I'm currently single but when I navigate grindr/friends of friends for dates or one night stands, the "bisexual" men all admit to sleeping around on the sly and I immediately rule those out because I'm not getting involved with a cheating man no matter how good looking he may be. I do have ethical standards

If someone was bicurious in college and had a few experiences but is more interested in women and wants to have a life with a woman, that person would keep his mouth shut and his bisexual history a private secret just like we (most of us) don't necessarily tell our spouses about all our sexual activities when young and horny. But if a man openly states he's bisexual on a date with a woman.... well, no, that is mostly not a good sign. If a woman came to me soliciting for advice on a prospective bisexual male partner, I would say, "don't do it." This is one of the few areas where it does not pay to be very open minded.

Some of you may not want to hear this but bisexuality seems to be easier and more frequent among women than among men.

Bisexuality may be more frequent among women. But your sample size is also not representative. You probably aren't meeting a lot of bisexual men who end up in long term monogamous relationships with women on Grindr. And honestly, it isn't your place to police someone's identity.

He said that he sees men married or in relationships with women on there. I think that what he says is probably true. Women who are in relationships with bisexual men just don't want to admit it.

What I'm saying is that he isn't going to ever run across the people who are monogamous. I'm bi. I have many bi friends. Some are polyamorous but that is it. Believe what you want. It is insulting to lump an entire category of people together. It is no different than saying all gay men have HIV.

This thread has devolved into biphobia though, not to mention it is months old so hopefully OP has sorted out what she wants to do by now.

Sorry he has a bigger sample size and his thesis is more logical. There are plenty of non bi's out there...why bother unless you are into that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a gay man with a large circle of gay friends I am somewhat suspicious of men who claim to be bisexual because experience has told me that the majority (99%?) eventually turn out to be...well....gay and bisexuality was just a form of coming to terms with their homosexuality. There *are* men who seem to be successfully bisexual but if grindr or anecdotes are anything to go by most of them will continue to sleep with men after marriage or commitment with a woman. I'm currently single but when I navigate grindr/friends of friends for dates or one night stands, the "bisexual" men all admit to sleeping around on the sly and I immediately rule those out because I'm not getting involved with a cheating man no matter how good looking he may be. I do have ethical standards

If someone was bicurious in college and had a few experiences but is more interested in women and wants to have a life with a woman, that person would keep his mouth shut and his bisexual history a private secret just like we (most of us) don't necessarily tell our spouses about all our sexual activities when young and horny. But if a man openly states he's bisexual on a date with a woman.... well, no, that is mostly not a good sign. If a woman came to me soliciting for advice on a prospective bisexual male partner, I would say, "don't do it." This is one of the few areas where it does not pay to be very open minded.

Some of you may not want to hear this but bisexuality seems to be easier and more frequent among women than among men.

Bisexuality may be more frequent among women. But your sample size is also not representative. You probably aren't meeting a lot of bisexual men who end up in long term monogamous relationships with women on Grindr. And honestly, it isn't your place to police someone's identity.

He said that he sees men married or in relationships with women on there. I think that what he says is probably true. Women who are in relationships with bisexual men just don't want to admit it.

What I'm saying is that he isn't going to ever run across the people who are monogamous. I'm bi. I have many bi friends. Some are polyamorous but that is it. Believe what you want. It is insulting to lump an entire category of people together. It is no different than saying all gay men have HIV.

This thread has devolved into biphobia though, not to mention it is months old so hopefully OP has sorted out what she wants to do by now.

Sorry he has a bigger sample size and his thesis is more logical. There are plenty of non bi's out there...why bother unless you are into that?

You have no idea if he has a bigger sample size, but your homophobia is showing. Seriously, f you.

[Anonymous]

Some people are just into people and aren't judgemental assholes.

[Anonymous]

Where is the homophobia?

Saying "f you" doesn't make you look very bright. May I surmise you're in high school?

Anonymous wrote:

You have no idea if he has a bigger sample size, but your homophobia is showing. Seriously, f you.