He's bisexual, should I pursue a relationship.
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Anonymous
| I met a great guy through a friend of mine. We have gone out a bunch of times and have really hit it off. He is 38, never married. I'm 34, divorced with 2 kids. I'm perfectly happy and independent, I do not need a man in my lift to feel fulfilled. There is something about him that feels very right. However, last night he disclosed to me that he is bi sexual. I have never dated a bi sexual person before. Should I handle this relationship differently? What was his point of disclosing to me that he is bi sexual if he wants to pursue a straight relationship with me? He did say that he is developing strong feelings for me. Please help. |
Anonymous
| He wants you to know that he sleeps with men. There are risks associated with that. Process the info as you see fit, and proceed or not. |
Anonymous
| Being bisexual does not = being attracted to, and wanting to sleep with, everyone all the time. (Just like being a straight woman doesn't mean you want to sleep with every man you see at every moment.) I have many bisexual friends who have been in successful monogamous relationships with people of the opposite sex. The disclosure was probably for personal history reasons--someday someone might bring up a guy he dated & he doesn't want you to be blindsided--as well as maybe for health. |
Anonymous
|
I don't see why you would handle this relationship differently. He has had past relationships like most people, they were just with men instead of women.
I say go for it. And to the PP above who mentioned risks - I would hope you would both get tested and use protection before you have sex, as you should with anyone you sleep with. |
Anonymous
Yep, the reality is that the HIV rate among men who have sex with men in DC is staggeringly high. Proceed with caution. |
Anonymous
| This would be almost a deal breaker for me. If you liked the guy's company I would take it very slow especially since you have kids. Only after knowing him a longer time will you learn if he is a keeper or not. |
Anonymous
|
If he is monogomous then I wouldnt worry about it.
If he doesnt know if he can stick with one person then that would be a concern. I identify as sexually bisexual in that I am attracted to both sexes. However I am with a woman now ( I am a woman) and we have been together for 10 years and married for 3. I have no thougts of straying. |
Anonymous
This! |
Anonymous
Agree 100% with this. Some people have an issue and that's their right, and you'll get some people coming on this thread claiming all bisexual men have HIV no matter what their history (if it gets too homophobic report it and Jeff will delete.) But use common sense, and if you are into him go for it. There are plenty of bisexual men (and women) who have successful relationships. |
Anonymous
| This is a great opportunity to use your communication skills. Ask if he wants a monogamous relationship. Think about whether you do. If you do, ask if he would be willing to be monogamous. If not, then that's your answer irrespective of with whom he'd be sleeping. |
Anonymous
| It was incredibly brave for him to reveal this. There are also different kinds of bisexuality (Kinsey scale). Some men are attracted to other men but have no desire to have sex with them. If you like him this much, at least learn more about him. |
Anonymous
| Don't be desperate. You might be divorced and lonely, but that doesn't mean you have to settle for a man who has sex with other men. Have the self esteem to walk away from his issues. I say this as a woman who once wasted a year with a bisexual out of loneliness. |
Anonymous
Your story is not everyone's story. Stop projecting. |
Anonymous
| If you don't mind him sleeping with men, proceed. That will continue after marriage btw. |
Anonymous
| This is pathetic and desperate |