So schocked and sad by "friends'" mean girl behavior

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure they were actually making fun of you? This sounds to me like they thought they were laughing with you and you thought they were laughing at you. Mean girls don't ask you to go for a walk later.

Sometimes they do, when they want to confuse their victim, but in this case OP is totally over-reacting. She must be socially clueless and rigid.

OP, you have to understand that not everyone will have your high standards of deportment. Some people let themselves go in some situations, and you have to cut them some slack as long as you know that they're usually respectful and friendly.

[Anonymous]

News flash: in every single office in America, employees talk about, laugh at, or make fun of other employees. Grow up. Who gives a shit.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I know I described it as one rude comment earlier, that was for the sake of brevity. But it was actually a whole series of rude comments. I deflected the first two or three comments, expecting them to back off, but it escalated instead. I stand by my statement that it was catty and unprofessional

[Anonymous]

Accept their apologies and move on. Be thankful they felt badly and apologized and didn't deny what they said, argued with you, or gave you the silent treatment.

[Anonymous]

This has got to be a troll. Or, OP, you have BPD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This has got to be a troll. Or, OP, you have BPD.

you know, people can legitimately have their feelings hurt without having a mental illness. Just because OP isn't dealing with it in a way most people would doesn't invalidate those feelings. She just needs better coping mechanisms. Plus we don't know what they said. It could have been really awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two coworkers who I thought were friends. One asked for my support during an emotionally wrenching time for her, and I assisted and supported her both professionally and personally.
The other day at work, they exhibited classic mean girl behavior.
The one who I had helped extensively in the past, made a comment about my appearance to the coworker, who laughed. I tried to deflect it, but they acted like it was all a big joke. The main instigator made another dig shortly thereafter.

I was so hurt and shocked by this unprofessional behavior. I avoided both of them the rest of the day though the instigator invited me to join her for a walk.
Later in the day, one asked "why are you so quiet today?" and I lost it. Our cubicles are in close proximity so both could hear the interchange.
I told her I couldn't stand their catty behavior and then said something like "this isn't high school"
One coworker could see how upset I was and came rushing over all apologetic and sorry.
I told her that normally I could laugh off this childish behavior, but my day hadn't started off well and I was in no mood for their rude behavior.

She was crying, and when I looked over I could see that the "rat" who instigated it all was sobbing. They both apologized.

But I am disgusted! They are not who they seemed to be and I plan to stay at a distance. One reached out with a note and small gift, the other emailed me, but I haven't responded.

I am considering asking to move cubicles (I can manufacture some reason for my manager)

They reached out and apologized. What else do you want? You are the one that sounds juvenile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I know I described it as one rude comment earlier, that was for the sake of brevity. But it was actually a whole series of rude comments. I deflected the first two or three comments, expecting them to back off, but it escalated instead. I stand by my statement that it was catty and unprofessional

So dcum doesn't flood you with warm fuzzies and you add to the story to swing things your way? Not buying this new version either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I know I described it as one rude comment earlier, that was for the sake of brevity. But it was actually a whole series of rude comments. I deflected the first two or three comments, expecting them to back off, but it escalated instead. I stand by my statement that it was catty and unprofessional

So dcum doesn't flood you with warm fuzzies and you add to the story to swing things your way? Not buying this new version either. [/quote

op here. oh good grief. ]

[Anonymous]

What did the co-workers say about your appearance? Did they not like your shoe selection or were they commenting on your body?

[Anonymous]

NP here. My goodness, the DCUM mean-girl harpies are out in full force.

If the colleagues made fun of OP's appearance at work in front of her, they are unprofessional and assholes. Any PP who has defended this behavior as okay needs training in social skills and professionalism.

That said, it is weird to me, OP, that they sobbed when you confronted them. And for you to want to switch cubicles over this is an over-reaction. Just learn and move on.

If this story is real, your best bet is just to keep everything on the professional level from here on out.

[Anonymous]

While I agree these girls acted out of line toward you initially, it looks like they felt a lot of remorse later on & genuinely tried to redeem themselves to you.

They obviously realized just how insensitive they were to you + did their very best to undo the damage.

Not many people swallow their pride like that OP.

I think you should accept their apologies.

[Anonymous]

Queen Elsa, Let It Go.

[Anonymous]

This kind of catty office drama makes me miss working in restaurants.

Call each other bitches and move on with your work.

[Anonymous]

You all need to focus on work and less on your interactions with one another. Grown women crying in an office over this sort of exchange is wildly inappropriate. Focus on your work and move on.