Jewish couple adopting AA baby?

[Anonymous]

Religion isn't based on biology.

Interesting. Are you saying four generations of Orthodox Jewish people or Irish Catholic have nothing to do with biology? Doesn't biology have something to do with it?

[Anonymous]

I know a number of Jewish children (adopted and biological) who are African American, Asian, and Central American.

If you are in Mo Co you might consider visiting Congregation Shirat Hanafesh which is by planning more culturally diverse.

http://shirathanefesh.org/

[Anonymous]

Thanks for all the comments, thoughtful and otherwise. We've decided to go the ART route rather than try to adopt.

- OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH is additionally concerned about adoption because the adoptees he's known anecdotally.

Based on your husband's hesitations I would not adopt an AA baby. I know a Jewish couple who adopted two babies whose parents were not Jewish and are now raising them Jewish. Personally, I think that is wrong because they are denying their children's biological history. Almost as if you adopted from China and raised them to be Mormon.

If you are going to adopt at all you need to discuss this with your husband and perhaps a counselor to work out all the feelings you both have. Perhaps there are Jewish babies/young children available that you are unaware of? Perhaps you can talk to people in your community?

Good luck!

Religion isn't based on biology.

In Judaism, it is!

I think this is a huge debate with powerful points on both sides.

[Anonymous]

If you adopt, go Asian. Plenty of Asian girls at temple.
And none of the non sense of having to make the kids life
More Black. oy what a headache.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you adopt, go Asian. Plenty of Asian girls at temple.
And none of the non sense of having to make the kids life
More Black. oy what a headache.

Thanks for this delightful comment. I plan to keep my kid away from you forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH is additionally concerned about adoption because the adoptees he's known anecdotally.

Based on your husband's hesitations I would not adopt an AA baby. I know a Jewish couple who adopted two babies whose parents were not Jewish and are now raising them Jewish. Personally, I think that is wrong because they are denying their children's biological history. Almost as if you adopted from China and raised them to be Mormon.

If you are going to adopt at all you need to discuss this with your husband and perhaps a counselor to work out all the feelings you both have. Perhaps there are Jewish babies/young children available that you are unaware of? Perhaps you can talk to people in your community?

Good luck!

Religion isn't based on biology.

In Judaism, it is!

Well,bro further "complicate" things, there are Ethiopian ethnic Jews (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beta_Israel), Indian ethnic Jews (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bene_Israel), and many others around the world. Perhaps you've heard the joke about the man from New York who goes to temple while on vacation in China, and is told, "funny, he doesn't look Jewish"?

One of the leaders in my temple growing up was AA. (A convert, and a Baltimore city police officer.) No one thought twice about it.

I think this is a huge debate with powerful points on both sides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH is additionally concerned about adoption because the adoptees he's known anecdotally.

Based on your husband's hesitations I would not adopt an AA baby. I know a Jewish couple who adopted two babies whose parents were not Jewish and are now raising them Jewish. Personally, I think that is wrong because they are denying their children's biological history. Almost as if you adopted from China and raised them to be Mormon.

If you are going to adopt at all you need to discuss this with your husband and perhaps a counselor to work out all the feelings you both have. Perhaps there are Jewish babies/young children available that you are unaware of? Perhaps you can talk to people in your community?

Good luck!

Religion isn't based on biology.

In Judaism, it is!

Well, bro further "complicate" things, there are Ethiopian ethnic Jews (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beta_Israel), Indian ethnic Jews (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bene_Israel), and many others around the world. Perhaps you've heard the joke about the man from New York who goes to temple while on vacation in China, and is told, "funny, he doesn't look Jewish"?

One of the leaders in my temple growing up was AA. (A convert, and a Baltimore city police officer.) No one thought twice about it.

to further... Quite the typo! (And sorry for the messed-up quote. More coffee please!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH is additionally concerned about adoption because the adoptees he's known anecdotally.

Based on your husband's hesitations I would not adopt an AA baby. I know a Jewish couple who adopted two babies whose parents were not Jewish and are now raising them Jewish. Personally, I think that is wrong because they are denying their children's biological history. Almost as if you adopted from China and raised them to be Mormon.

If you are going to adopt at all you need to discuss this with your husband and perhaps a counselor to work out all the feelings you both have. Perhaps there are Jewish babies/young children available that you are unaware of? Perhaps you can talk to people in your community?

Good luck!

Religion isn't based on biology.

In Judaism, it is!

Well,bro further "complicate" things, there are Ethiopian ethnic Jews (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beta_Israel), Indian ethnic Jews (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bene_Israel), and many others around the world. Perhaps you've heard the joke about the man from New York who goes to temple while on vacation in China, and is told, "funny, he doesn't look Jewish"?

One of the leaders in my temple growing up was AA. (A convert, and a Baltimore city police officer.) No one thought twice about it.

I think this is a huge debate with powerful points on both sides.

While this is true, the larger Jewish community has not been very receptive to Ethiopian Jews and do not treat them as equals. Do a Google news search for 'Ethiopian Jew' and read about the discrimination that they've faced in Israel.

I think that the OP has made the right decision for her family in not pursuing interracial adoption. It's not that such an adoption can't work, it's more that the content of her posts suggested that she's not willing to do the hard work it would take to make it work, and both she and her DH have too much racial baggage to overcome.

[Anonymous]

Speaking as someone who is Beta Israel, so-called "white" Jews are very nasty. Many cannot even trace their lineage to the holy land and are actually the products of European intermarriage, but want us to produce a DNA test.

[Anonymous]

We are Orthodox and there are many adopted kids in our neighborhood/synagogue/school who are of non-white races. I am sure there are challenges (as with any adoption) but in the right environment with loving, caring, understanding parents, it can be done. Yes, people will always know your child is adopted and perhaps converted but so what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Speaking as someone who is Beta Israel, so-called "white" Jews are very nasty. Many cannot even trace their lineage to the holy land and are actually the products of European intermarriage, but want us to produce a DNA test.

Who the hell wants you to produce a DNA test?

And why would we be asked to "trace our lineage to the Holy Land"?

Everything about your post is just plain weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Speaking as someone who is Beta Israel, so-called "white" Jews are very nasty. Many cannot even trace their lineage to the holy land and are actually the products of European intermarriage, but want us to produce a DNA test.

Who the hell wants you to produce a DNA test?

And why would we be asked to "trace our lineage to the Holy Land"?

Everything about your post is just plain weird.

PP here. Clearly, you don't know anything about the requirements of Israeli citizenship for non-white Jews and what some Orthodox sects right here in America put non-white Jews with lineage older than theirs through. Educate yourself instead of exposing your ignorance.

[Anonymous]

I have been looking for a diverse synagogue for reasons similar to yours and really like Temple Shalom in Chevy Chase/Silver Spring. Was surprised how diverse the congregation was and the Hebrew School as well. Many adopted kids of all nationalities. I would speak to the Rabbi there, like I did, and he could further guide you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you adopt an AA child, that child will be asked to shoulder so much that is out of her comfort zone. No one else int eh family will look like the child, the neighborhood and school will not have many black people, her place worship will be virtually all white. It sounds unlikely that any black people will be coming to your house for social gatherings. But you have made it clear that you and your husband have no intention of stretching beyond your comfort zone to make the child feel more comfortable. Put yourself int eh child's shoes. Imagine not seeing yourself reflected around you. Imagine wondering why your parents profess that color doesn't matter to them, but have no black friends. When you adopt a child of color, you become a family of color. Family choices have to be made with the child in mind, not just expecting
the child to suck it up and do what is easiest for the rest of you.
And no, you wouldn't approach and befriend a black person solely because the person is black. You would strike up a conversation with a person because your kids go to the same school, or you meet in yoga class, or your kids play soccer together - the same way you would make friends with other white people. But, if you live and travel in circles where there are no black people at the school. gym or soccer game to befriend, well, again - how will the black child feel in the environment?

+1 I don't think it is the issue of having a black jewish kid, but if ALL the rest of your life is white, that's really shitty for the kid. Our kid struggles a bit (she is black, we are white) and her school is 100% black, our church is less diverse at about 40% black, and our neighborhood is 90% black. It's important that they see themselves in the community.