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Parenting -- Special Concerns
Reply to "Jewish couple adopting AA baby?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, if you adopt an AA child, that child will be asked to shoulder so much that is out of her comfort zone. No one else int eh family will look like the child, the neighborhood and school will not have many black people, her place worship will be virtually all white. It sounds unlikely that any black people will be coming to your house for social gatherings. But you have made it clear that you and your husband have no intention of stretching beyond your comfort zone to make the child feel more comfortable. Put yourself int eh child's shoes. Imagine not seeing yourself reflected around you. Imagine wondering why your parents profess that color doesn't matter to them, but have no black friends. When you adopt a child of color, you become a family of color. Family choices have to be made with the child in mind, not just expecting the child to suck it up and do what is easiest for the rest of you. And no, you wouldn't approach and befriend a black person solely because the person is black. You would strike up a conversation with a person because your kids go to the same school, or you meet in yoga class, or your kids play soccer together - the same way you would make friends with other white people. But, if you live and travel in circles where there are no black people at the school. gym or soccer game to befriend, well, again - how will the black child feel in the environment? [/quote] +1 I don't think it is the issue of having a black jewish kid, but if ALL the rest of your life is white, that's really shitty for the kid. Our kid struggles a bit (she is black, we are white) and her school is 100% black, our church is less diverse at about 40% black, and our neighborhood is 90% black. It's important that they see themselves in the community. [/quote]
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