Why do people have multiple kids when they can't handle them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a natural, instinctual, ingrained desire for humans to procreate. If that wasn't so the human race would have died out long ago.

There's this thing called a frontal lobe... Meant to distinguish us from animals by giving us critical thinking and rationality to put ourselves above our instinct.

[Anonymous]

1)IVF multiples
2) People do what their parents did.
3) Psychologists have discovered that we are really bad at figuring out what will make us happy in the future.
4) People are bad with money. College tuitions are rising so much faster than wages that kids can't really "work their way through" anymore. This really should give people more pause. College tuition basically is the primary determinant of when and how well my older colleagues are retiring.

[Anonymous]

I have several kids (more than 3 less than 10) from one marriage and now divorced. My ex could handle the kids until they started talking back.

[Anonymous]

Arrogance. Combine "it will be better when they are older" (little kid, Little problems - big kid, big problems) with "we
Will make more money in a couple more years" (maybe, with extreme luck or maybe a parent or grandparent dying) and "it's just a phase!" (It's not, you are a bad parent ).

And voila! That family of five or six ruining your dinner before driving off in a dented minivan!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Arrogance. Combine "it will be better when they are older" (little kid, Little problems - big kid, big problems) with "we
Will make more money in a couple more years" (maybe, with extreme luck or maybe a parent or grandparent dying) and "it's just a phase!" (It's not, you are a bad parent ).

And voila! That family of five or six ruining your dinner before driving off in a dented minivan!

Thank you for making me choke on my fruit laughing. (And yes, I drive a minivan and may have a lot of kids...actually, I'd better go check given the current level of silence. But there's nothing I enjoy more than commiserating about the terrible behavior of other people's children, and the pathetic permissiveness of other parents.)

It seems to me like a lot of people just think this is how it is and what people do. Or that's my assumption-- that the same people who think it's normal for their three year olds to scream at them and punch them in the face when angry because it's just a developmental stage and what can you do? might just be the same folks who think it's normal to procreate again and again because well that's just what being a grown-up means now and that's what you do, and besides, they (like me) probably think their kids are well-behaved compared to those awful little snots next door...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Arrogance. Combine "it will be better when they are older" (little kid, Little problems - big kid, big problems) with "we
Will make more money in a couple more years" (maybe, with extreme luck or maybe a parent or grandparent dying) and "it's just a phase!" (It's not, you are a bad parent ).

And voila! That family of five or six ruining your dinner before driving off in a dented minivan!

Thank you for making me choke on my fruit laughing. (And yes, I drive a minivan and may have a lot of kids...actually, I'd better go check given the current level of silence. But there's nothing I enjoy more than commiserating about the terrible behavior of other people's children, and the pathetic permissiveness of other parents.)

It seems to me like a lot of people just think this is how it is and what people do. Or that's my assumption-- that the same people who think it's normal for their three year olds to scream at them and punch them in the face when angry because it's just a developmental stage and what can you do? might just be the same folks who think it's normal to procreate again and again because well that's just what being a grown-up means now and that's what you do, and besides, they (like me) probably think their kids are well-behaved compared to those awful little snots next door...

Your kids probably are well behaved. Some parents are better than others. I actually saw a four (FOUR) year old hit her mom in the face recently, quite sad actually. That kid is desperate for something they aren't getting. I guess that family thought a new baby (not their second) would fix everything, cause that shit show is currently happening. Arrogance, and stubborn insistence that what IS is not.

[Anonymous]

1.) It's what you grew up with or wish you grew up with
2.) Delusional optimism
3.) Birth Control issues
4.) You love the noise and excitement
5.) You don't think they will ever be mouthy teens
6.) You think you have perfect genetics and must make many babies to save the world
7.) religion

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have three. My third is by far the most challenging. He truly drives me crazy. But he's been like this from day 1. Like the minute he was born.

I'm still considering a 4th because if the 4th turns out like #1 or #2, I'm going to have it easy. And, because I love the idea of a big family.

But, everyone knows #3 truly kicks my butt. I also am very hopeful that it will not be so bad once we're out of the toddler stage.

Maybe he's like that because he/she doesn't get enough of your attention. I was the third, my parents would have given the same description of me and they absolutely should have stopped at 2. They were overwhelmed, are somewhat self-centered, and simply didn't have the time or energy to properly engage with me.

[Anonymous]

PP here -- I wish that were the case because then I could fix it. Often, his outbursts come when we're the only two people doing an activity together. For example, we're coloring, and I ask him for a crayon and he throws it at my face. That kind of stuff. I am giving 100% of my attention to him and he's just kind of mean. I'm fairly confident he will grow out of this because we don't tolerate such behavior and are just as strict with him as we have been with the others. It just seems like it will take longer to get the message across.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Arrogance. Combine "it will be better when they are older" (little kid, Little problems - big kid, big problems) with "we
Will make more money in a couple more years" (maybe, with extreme luck or maybe a parent or grandparent dying) and "it's just a phase!" (It's not, you are a bad parent ).

And voila! That family of five or six ruining your dinner before driving off in a dented minivan!

Thank you for making me choke on my fruit laughing. (And yes, I drive a minivan and may have a lot of kids...actually, I'd better go check given the current level of silence. But there's nothing I enjoy more than commiserating about the terrible behavior of other people's children, and the pathetic permissiveness of other parents.)

It seems to me like a lot of people just think this is how it is and what people do. Or that's my assumption-- that the same people who think it's normal for their three year olds to scream at them and punch them in the face when angry because it's just a developmental stage and what can you do? might just be the same folks who think it's normal to procreate again and again because well that's just what being a grown-up means now and that's what you do, and besides, they (like me) probably think their kids are well-behaved compared to those awful little snots next door...

Your kids probably are well behaved. Some parents are better than others. I actually saw a four (FOUR) year old hit her mom in the face recently, quite sad actually. That kid is desperate for something they aren't getting. I guess that family thought a new baby (not their second) would fix everything, cause that shit show is currently happening. Arrogance, and stubborn insistence that what IS is not.

Jeez, don't be so judgmental. I can remember when my sister had three under 10, and the younger one used to come up and hit her in the face when she wanted attention. (My sister is a scientist of some reknown and can get a little distracted or single-focused when talking about something!). That child is now an Engineering PhD who graduated from a top school (as did her siblings, also with PhDs in science/engineering), is an absolutely lovely human being, and adores both her parents (as do her siblings). Different people have different parenting styles, and it can all be okay.

Signed,
Mom of family of 5 that drives around in a dented mini-van because I'd rather spend money taking my kids on cool vacations that on body work for my piece of crap car.

[Anonymous]

Why do so many "pro-choicers" wring their hands over large families?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Playing the long game. It's frustrating when they are young, but rewarding as they get older.

But wouldn't it be more rewarding to foster a good relationship with few kids than be a stressed out, unavailable parent to many? Being a parent is hard if you have one or many, but if you realize you're already at the end of your rope, why add more stress? How does that make for a better family life down the line?

+10000

Selfishness. Pure and simple.

The truly selfish are the antinatalists who hate kids and hate those who have kids.

Oh look, there's a new brew pub to try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Arrogance. Combine "it will be better when they are older" (little kid, Little problems - big kid, big problems) with "we
Will make more money in a couple more years" (maybe, with extreme luck or maybe a parent or grandparent dying) and "it's just a phase!" (It's not, you are a bad parent ).

And voila! That family of five or six ruining your dinner before driving off in a dented minivan!

Awww. No joy?

Selfish millennial. At least you can go to Crossfit to work off your anger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Arrogance. Combine "it will be better when they are older" (little kid, Little problems - big kid, big problems) with "we
Will make more money in a couple more years" (maybe, with extreme luck or maybe a parent or grandparent dying) and "it's just a phase!" (It's not, you are a bad parent ).

And voila! That family of five or six ruining your dinner before driving off in a dented minivan!

Awww. No joy?

Selfish millennial. At least you can go to Crossfit to work off your anger.

Someone sounds bitter and it's not the "millenial"

[Anonymous]

Because sometimes people are just stupid.