Inflexible family gathering

[Anonymous]

They do it every year. So skip it this time due to new baby. You see them all the time anyway.

[Anonymous]

C or D. And really, D. It's crazy when people let "tradition" overrule what the alleged point of the event is- a time to get together with family.

[Anonymous]

DH (only) goes if it's so important to him. Or he goes and takes the kid(s). Or he stops being afraid of making Mommy mad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I expected something different from the title OP ... it is hardly "inflexible" to want to have your 4th of July party on the 4th! It was pretty ballsy of you to ask to change it just for the sake of saving a vacation day. Anyway, I'd say go and come back late on the 4th.

Actually, it's pretty much the definition of inflexible, especially with this much notice and given OP's situation. It's hardly 'ballsy'. It's a 4th of July party, not a wedding.

It's not a 4th of July party on the 3rd! People like family traditions like that.

Really? Really. You can't grill a few burgers and drink a few beers and use red, white and blue decor on the 3rd, and then have a nice breakfast and enjoy some leftovers and some fireworks on the 4th? You just can't? Because "tradition" trumps family?

Tradition may not trump family, but it sure trumps OP's plan to rearrange her inlaw's 4th just so she can save a vacation day to go to the Grand Canyon (without them) later in the summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I expected something different from the title OP ... it is hardly "inflexible" to want to have your 4th of July party on the 4th! It was pretty ballsy of you to ask to change it just for the sake of saving a vacation day. Anyway, I'd say go and come back late on the 4th.

Actually, it's pretty much the definition of inflexible, especially with this much notice and given OP's situation. It's hardly 'ballsy'. It's a 4th of July party, not a wedding.

It's not a 4th of July party on the 3rd! People like family traditions like that.

Really? Really. You can't grill a few burgers and drink a few beers and use red, white and blue decor on the 3rd, and then have a nice breakfast and enjoy some leftovers and some fireworks on the 4th? You just can't? Because "tradition" trumps family?

Tradition may not trump family, but it sure trumps OP's plan to rearrange her inlaw's 4th just so she can save a vacation day to go to the Grand Canyon (without them) later in the summer.

PS: I think it's fine for OP to skip the barbecue; I just think it is really rich to try to rearrange a whole holiday plan of many other people just so you can save a vacation day for yourself ... super rude. Just skip it, don't act like the world revolves around your vacation!

[Anonymous]

It's just a family party on the fourth of July. It's not a freaking once-in-a-lifetime event or even a major holiday. Skip it this year, since it conflicts with your other travel plans. What are they going to do, spend the next 40 years telling the story of how tragic it was that 2016, how they wept as they stared at your empty seats during the feast of July 4?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First I was going to say C or D but a 5 hour drive for 4th of July with holiday traffic & you have a baby?! Skip it!! A new baby is literally an excuse to skip anything. Life is short, saying no is liberating (I'm a former YES person)!

This right here.

Skip it this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's just a family party on the fourth of July. It's not a freaking once-in-a-lifetime event or even a major holiday. Skip it this year, since it conflicts with your other travel plans. What are they going to do, spend the next 40 years telling the story of how tragic it was that 2016, how they wept as they stared at your empty seats during the feast of July 4?

NP. Could be. Some families are indeed that petty. Anything to gossip about, and some family members gleefully seize any chance to divide and conquer. Yay America.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I expected something different from the title OP ... it is hardly "inflexible" to want to have your 4th of July party on the 4th! It was pretty ballsy of you to ask to change it just for the sake of saving a vacation day. Anyway, I'd say go and come back late on the 4th.

Actually, it's pretty much the definition of inflexible, especially with this much notice and given OP's situation. It's hardly 'ballsy'. It's a 4th of July party, not a wedding.

It's not a 4th of July party on the 3rd! People like family traditions like that.

Really? Really. You can't grill a few burgers and drink a few beers and use red, white and blue decor on the 3rd, and then have a nice breakfast and enjoy some leftovers and some fireworks on the 4th? You just can't? Because "tradition" trumps family?

Tradition may not trump family, but it sure trumps OP's plan to rearrange her inlaw's 4th just so she can save a vacation day to go to the Grand Canyon (without them) later in the summer.

I sort of think this too. It's not entirely unreasonable for MIL to want to keep the party on the 4th. That said, Op, I'd go for the wknd and leave Monday AM or right after the party starts. Would MIL move the start of the party up a couple of hours so you can see people and still get on the road?

[Anonymous]

It's not unreasonable of your MIL to want to keep the party on the 4th, but its also not unreasonable of you to decline the invite if it doesn't work with your vacation days and you see them often anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First I was going to say C or D but a 5 hour drive for 4th of July with holiday traffic & you have a baby?! Skip it!! A new baby is literally an excuse to skip anything. Life is short, saying no is liberating (I'm a former YES person)!

This right here.

Skip it this year.

+1,000,000

OP, skip it this year. Just have DH say something short and sweet to MIL like, "We understand this needs to be on the 4th for traditions' sake. Unfortunately that doesn't work for us this year so count us in for next year!" and then disengage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I expected something different from the title OP ... it is hardly "inflexible" to want to have your 4th of July party on the 4th! It was pretty ballsy of you to ask to change it just for the sake of saving a vacation day. Anyway, I'd say go and come back late on the 4th.

Actually, it's pretty much the definition of inflexible, especially with this much notice and given OP's situation. It's hardly 'ballsy'. It's a 4th of July party, not a wedding.

It's not a 4th of July party on the 3rd! People like family traditions like that.

Really? Really. You can't grill a few burgers and drink a few beers and use red, white and blue decor on the 3rd, and then have a nice breakfast and enjoy some leftovers and some fireworks on the 4th? You just can't? Because "tradition" trumps family?

Tradition may not trump family, but it sure trumps OP's plan to rearrange her inlaw's 4th just so she can save a vacation day to go to the Grand Canyon (without them) later in the summer.

PS: I think it's fine for OP to skip the barbecue; I just think it is really rich to try to rearrange a whole holiday plan of many other people just so you can save a vacation day for yourself ... super rude. Just skip it, don't act like the world revolves around your vacation!

ITA.

[Anonymous]

Another vote for skip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I expected something different from the title OP ... it is hardly "inflexible" to want to have your 4th of July party on the 4th! It was pretty ballsy of you to ask to change it just for the sake of saving a vacation day. Anyway, I'd say go and come back late on the 4th.

Actually, it's pretty much the definition of inflexible, especially with this much notice and given OP's situation. It's hardly 'ballsy'. It's a 4th of July party, not a wedding.

It's not a 4th of July party on the 3rd! People like family traditions like that.

Really? Really. You can't grill a few burgers and drink a few beers and use red, white and blue decor on the 3rd, and then have a nice breakfast and enjoy some leftovers and some fireworks on the 4th? You just can't? Because "tradition" trumps family?

Tradition may not trump family, but it sure trumps OP's plan to rearrange her inlaw's 4th just so she can save a vacation day to go to the Grand Canyon (without them) later in the summer.

Backyard BBQ, or once-in-a-lifetime trip that has been planned for two years? Hmm...which is more important?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I expected something different from the title OP ... it is hardly "inflexible" to want to have your 4th of July party on the 4th! It was pretty ballsy of you to ask to change it just for the sake of saving a vacation day. Anyway, I'd say go and come back late on the 4th.

Actually, it's pretty much the definition of inflexible, especially with this much notice and given OP's situation. It's hardly 'ballsy'. It's a 4th of July party, not a wedding.

It's not a 4th of July party on the 3rd! People like family traditions like that.

Really? Really. You can't grill a few burgers and drink a few beers and use red, white and blue decor on the 3rd, and then have a nice breakfast and enjoy some leftovers and some fireworks on the 4th? You just can't? Because "tradition" trumps family?

Tradition may not trump family, but it sure trumps OP's plan to rearrange her inlaw's 4th just so she can save a vacation day to go to the Grand Canyon (without them) later in the summer.

Backyard BBQ, or once-in-a-lifetime trip that has been planned for two years? Hmm...which is more important?

But no one is suggesting OP should not use her vacation days to take the Grand Canyon trip - that makes sense. But it does seem unfair to get worked up about MIL not changing the date of the party because she has no vacation days - she does, but is choosing to use them for something else. It's fair for MIL to keep the party on the 4th and fair for OP not to go or to leave early. It's not fair for OP to be upset that MIL won't change the party (and it doesn't sound like she is - just responding to the general posts on the matter).