Stop tween from overeating

[Anonymous]

Ok, if we take you at your word and trust that your tween is really overweight and not about to have a major growth spurt, and if we really trust you to be a judge that he is overeating a lot, then you have a problem. Assuming you are not one of those pps who thinks anything above 110lbs for anybody is fat.
The problem then is you and your family and your eating habits. I've yet to see overweight kids where parents are not causing it, often without realizing, or very skinny for that matter. Everything you wrote about how your DS eats is wrong. He has barely any food until dinner because he is too busy, you write. Of course he overeats at night, anybody would, especially a growing tween. All this needs to change, you need to make sure he has a great breakfast, super lunch and dinner will be smaller meal then. You also need to make sure he has healthy snacks. If he is in middle school, you need to give him that lunch right after school, if possible, so say at 3pm he will have a large lunch since he is eating nothing at school for lunch. First you have to change the way your family eats. I am sorry if I sound harsh, but I have seen too many kids suffer because of their parents not having a clue how to actually provide good/healthy and balanced eating environment to their kids. My own SIL, whom I really like, having an obese teen and obese child and telling me she is washing her hands off of her, while at the same time never, ever having healthy food in the house and making healthy food orders from restaurants. Also, stop nagging him to walk, run etc. Enroll him in a sport and don't make it optional. He is a tween and you are the parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd like to revive this thread, as we are dealing with something similar with our tween daughter now. She complains about her pot belly and feeling "fat" but then she will eat to the point of making herself feel sick (tummy ache or nausea). Also discovered she was recently buying chocolate milk, pudding and chips/other carb filled snack in addition to the main entree at school on the days that she was buying lunch. (It's unclear to me if she ate the entree.) I can't understand eating to the point of feeling uncomfortable - have never done it myself except for the occasional Thanksgiving meal. We can manage her eating at dinner and breakfast, but we won't be with her for every meal of her life....we have her put her fork down between me at dinner and I try to have a contest to see who can eat the slowest. Also we aren't allowing seconds for carbs (bread/rice/pasta), but allow it for protein and veggies. I'd love to hear how things went the OP from this thread and any other genuinely helpful advice from folks who have been through this with a tween/teen.

I see this as well with my own kid. I think it's just part of the transition period from little kid to teen and this is when kids realize that you can actually eat too much and that the food you eat impacts your weight and health and that from now on they basically will have to curb how much they eat to maintain a healthy weight. I also think kids don't really get the connection between exercise and calorie burn because we don't discuss this with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok, if we take you at your word and trust that your tween is really overweight and not about to have a major growth spurt, and if we really trust you to be a judge that he is overeating a lot, then you have a problem. Assuming you are not one of those pps who thinks anything above 110lbs for anybody is fat.
The problem then is you and your family and your eating habits. I've yet to see overweight kids where parents are not causing it, often without realizing, or very skinny for that matter. Everything you wrote about how your DS eats is wrong. He has barely any food until dinner because he is too busy, you write. Of course he overeats at night, anybody would, especially a growing tween. All this needs to change, you need to make sure he has a great breakfast, super lunch and dinner will be smaller meal then. You also need to make sure he has healthy snacks. If he is in middle school, you need to give him that lunch right after school, if possible, so say at 3pm he will have a large lunch since he is eating nothing at school for lunch. First you have to change the way your family eats. I am sorry if I sound harsh, but I have seen too many kids suffer because of their parents not having a clue how to actually provide good/healthy and balanced eating environment to their kids. My own SIL, whom I really like, having an obese teen and obese child and telling me she is washing her hands off of her, while at the same time never, ever having healthy food in the house and making healthy food orders from restaurants. Also, stop nagging him to walk, run etc. Enroll him in a sport and don't make it optional. He is a tween and you are the parent.

Sorry you have it all wrong - we serve healthy food and have lots of fruits and veggies available and served and serve healthy portions at dinner. She mostly overindulges when she is elsewhere (a birthday party/Halloween party, or school lunch).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd like to revive this thread, as we are dealing with something similar with our tween daughter now. She complains about her pot belly and feeling "fat" but then she will eat to the point of making herself feel sick (tummy ache or nausea). Also discovered she was recently buying chocolate milk, pudding and chips/other carb filled snack in addition to the main entree at school on the days that she was buying lunch. (It's unclear to me if she ate the entree.) I can't understand eating to the point of feeling uncomfortable - have never done it myself except for the occasional Thanksgiving meal. We can manage her eating at dinner and breakfast, but we won't be with her for every meal of her life....we have her put her fork down between me at dinner and I try to have a contest to see who can eat the slowest. Also we aren't allowing seconds for carbs (bread/rice/pasta), but allow it for protein and veggies. I'd love to hear how things went the OP from this thread and any other genuinely helpful advice from folks who have been through this with a tween/teen.

I see this as well with my own kid. I think it's just part of the transition period from little kid to teen and this is when kids realize that you can actually eat too much and that the food you eat impacts your weight and health and that from now on they basically will have to curb how much they eat to maintain a healthy weight. I also think kids don't really get the connection between exercise and calorie burn because we don't discuss this with them.

So, how are you managing this? Also, she is being mocked/teased by mean girls who are supposedly friends...

[Anonymous]

he needs an appetizer for dinner.
This is what I do. Cut up cucumbers, carrots, apples, little tiny dish of almonds, raw broccoli, etc, small salad with a little cheese and dressing. Let him eat as much as he wants. Do this while cooking, he sits and talks with you or finishes homework (or even plays a iPad game). Then call everyone to dinner at the table. He won't be as hungry and he will have filled up on healthy food.
We call it an appetizer--my teens like that and often help me prepare it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of people posting don't have older tweens and teens. You can tell by the confident way they assume you can shape your kid's actions so simply.

If I announced to my 12 year old son that he would be riding his bike for 30 minutes after school each day, or take up cross country, he'd laugh sweetly. Then not do it. (Or if manipulated him by imposing a compelling-enough hardship if he refused, he -might- take up cross country/tennis/fencing -- and resent the hell out of his parents while sabotaging the activity).

You're in a tough spot OP. What are your family genetics like? Both sets of grandparents too

I agree.

Also consider OP that a tween boy is at the age where they pack on some chub to get their body ready for their big growth spurt.

If your food is overall healthy, let him eat as much as he wants.

He will get a gut between fourth and seventh grade. Then he will shoot up and stretch out.

An increased appetite in a boy at this age is 100% normal and not even a little bit worth worrying about. I woukd be more concerned if his appetite was not starting to kick it up at this age. Your ped will most likely back me up on this

I have several boys. When you compare their early elementary photos to their tween/early teen photos, the difference is striking. They went from skinny boys to chubby kids. But then they hit their 8th-10th grade growth spurts and really stretched out. Both are back to being skinny. One went from slim pants to husky pants and is now a 28" waist with a 30" inseam. He grew 6" in one year. He is my sedentary kid. The activie kid is not as tall yet but had the same skinny/chubby/skinny growth spurt, just as the ped said when I worried about it when my first was an older elementary kid, eating all the time and getting chubby.

I am more worried about my sixth grader who is small and skinny for his age and has not yet gotten that appetite jump. He has no fat on him and I worry it will delay his puberty and growth more than it already has.

I woukd not be even a little bit alarmed by what OP is describing. Remember, tween/teen boys are not menopausal middle aged women and shoukd not eat like them.

Get ready tor a growth spurt OP and quit fretting over food

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:he needs an appetizer for dinner.
This is what I do. Cut up cucumbers, carrots, apples, little tiny dish of almonds, raw broccoli, etc, small salad with a little cheese and dressing. Let him eat as much as he wants. Do this while cooking, he sits and talks with you or finishes homework (or even plays a iPad game). Then call everyone to dinner at the table. He won't be as hungry and he will have filled up on healthy food.
We call it an appetizer--my teens like that and often help me prepare it.

Healthy food for a hoy getting ready to hit his growth spurt is meat and carbs. The veggies are important but filling up on them so he doesn't have room for the protein and carbs his body needs right now is a bad idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd like to revive this thread, as we are dealing with something similar with our tween daughter now. She complains about her pot belly and feeling "fat" but then she will eat to the point of making herself feel sick (tummy ache or nausea). Also discovered she was recently buying chocolate milk, pudding and chips/other carb filled snack in addition to the main entree at school on the days that she was buying lunch. (It's unclear to me if she ate the entree.) I can't understand eating to the point of feeling uncomfortable - have never done it myself except for the occasional Thanksgiving meal. We can manage her eating at dinner and breakfast, but we won't be with her for every meal of her life....we have her put her fork down between me at dinner and I try to have a contest to see who can eat the slowest. Also we aren't allowing seconds for carbs (bread/rice/pasta), but allow it for protein and veggies. I'd love to hear how things went the OP from this thread and any other genuinely helpful advice from folks who have been through this with a tween/teen.

Don't do "reviving the thread!" You waste people's time who don't look at the date and answer to original post. Just post your own thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of people posting don't have older tweens and teens. You can tell by the confident way they assume you can shape your kid's actions so simply.

If I announced to my 12 year old son that he would be riding his bike for 30 minutes after school each day, or take up cross country, he'd laugh sweetly. Then not do it. (Or if manipulated him by imposing a compelling-enough hardship if he refused, he -might- take up cross country/tennis/fencing -- and resent the hell out of his parents while sabotaging the activity).

You're in a tough spot OP. What are your family genetics like? Both sets of grandparents too

I agree.

Also consider OP that a tween boy is at the age where they pack on some chub to get their body ready for their big growth spurt.

If your food is overall healthy, let him eat as much as he wants.

He will get a gut between fourth and seventh grade. Then he will shoot up and stretch out.

An increased appetite in a boy at this age is 100% normal and not even a little bit worth worrying about. I woukd be more concerned if his appetite was not starting to kick it up at this age. Your ped will most likely back me up on this

I have several boys. When you compare their early elementary photos to their tween/early teen photos, the difference is striking. They went from skinny boys to chubby kids. But then they hit their 8th-10th grade growth spurts and really stretched out. Both are back to being skinny. One went from slim pants to husky pants and is now a 28" waist with a 30" inseam. He grew 6" in one year. He is my sedentary kid. The activie kid is not as tall yet but had the same skinny/chubby/skinny growth spurt, just as the ped said when I worried about it when my first was an older elementary kid, eating all the time and getting chubby.

I am more worried about my sixth grader who is small and skinny for his age and has not yet gotten that appetite jump. He has no fat on him and I worry it will delay his puberty and growth more than it already has.

I woukd not be even a little bit alarmed by what OP is describing. Remember, tween/teen boys are not menopausal middle aged women and shoukd not eat like them.

Get ready tor a growth spurt OP and quit fretting over food

Thanks for this info. It makes me feel a lot better. Our 10 yo DS has always been on the thin side and just in the last few months he's developed a belly. He' not very active, but overall his eating/exercise level hasn't changed. I'm trying to have him walk the dog with me each night for 1/2 an hour, and he'll play baseball in the spring. I just worry because I've been overweight for most of my life and don't want him to suffer like I did. I'm hoping a growth spurt is in our near future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, if we take you at your word and trust that your tween is really overweight and not about to have a major growth spurt, and if we really trust you to be a judge that he is overeating a lot, then you have a problem. Assuming you are not one of those pps who thinks anything above 110lbs for anybody is fat.
The problem then is you and your family and your eating habits. I've yet to see overweight kids where parents are not causing it, often without realizing, or very skinny for that matter. Everything you wrote about how your DS eats is wrong. He has barely any food until dinner because he is too busy, you write. Of course he overeats at night, anybody would, especially a growing tween. All this needs to change, you need to make sure he has a great breakfast, super lunch and dinner will be smaller meal then. You also need to make sure he has healthy snacks. If he is in middle school, you need to give him that lunch right after school, if possible, so say at 3pm he will have a large lunch since he is eating nothing at school for lunch. First you have to change the way your family eats. I am sorry if I sound harsh, but I have seen too many kids suffer because of their parents not having a clue how to actually provide good/healthy and balanced eating environment to their kids. My own SIL, whom I really like, having an obese teen and obese child and telling me she is washing her hands off of her, while at the same time never, ever having healthy food in the house and making healthy food orders from restaurants. Also, stop nagging him to walk, run etc. Enroll him in a sport and don't make it optional. He is a tween and you are the parent.

Sorry you have it all wrong - we serve healthy food and have lots of fruits and veggies available and served and serve healthy portions at dinner. She mostly overindulges when she is elsewhere (a birthday party/Halloween party, or school lunch).

Of course I have it wrong when you didn't bother to post your own thread! Stop wasting people's time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, if we take you at your word and trust that your tween is really overweight and not about to have a major growth spurt, and if we really trust you to be a judge that he is overeating a lot, then you have a problem. Assuming you are not one of those pps who thinks anything above 110lbs for anybody is fat.
The problem then is you and your family and your eating habits. I've yet to see overweight kids where parents are not causing it, often without realizing, or very skinny for that matter. Everything you wrote about how your DS eats is wrong. He has barely any food until dinner because he is too busy, you write. Of course he overeats at night, anybody would, especially a growing tween. All this needs to change, you need to make sure he has a great breakfast, super lunch and dinner will be smaller meal then. You also need to make sure he has healthy snacks. If he is in middle school, you need to give him that lunch right after school, if possible, so say at 3pm he will have a large lunch since he is eating nothing at school for lunch. First you have to change the way your family eats. I am sorry if I sound harsh, but I have seen too many kids suffer because of their parents not having a clue how to actually provide good/healthy and balanced eating environment to their kids. My own SIL, whom I really like, having an obese teen and obese child and telling me she is washing her hands off of her, while at the same time never, ever having healthy food in the house and making healthy food orders from restaurants. Also, stop nagging him to walk, run etc. Enroll him in a sport and don't make it optional. He is a tween and you are the parent.

Sorry you have it all wrong - we serve healthy food and have lots of fruits and veggies available and served and serve healthy portions at dinner. She mostly overindulges when she is elsewhere (a birthday party/Halloween party, or school lunch).

Of course I have it wrong when you didn't bother to post your own thread! Stop wasting people's time.

Whoa. No need to be so hostile. Go grab some Halloween candy and get yourself in a better mood before responding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd like to revive this thread, as we are dealing with something similar with our tween daughter now. She complains about her pot belly and feeling "fat" but then she will eat to the point of making herself feel sick (tummy ache or nausea). Also discovered she was recently buying chocolate milk, pudding and chips/other carb filled snack in addition to the main entree at school on the days that she was buying lunch. (It's unclear to me if she ate the entree.) I can't understand eating to the point of feeling uncomfortable - have never done it myself except for the occasional Thanksgiving meal. We can manage her eating at dinner and breakfast, but we won't be with her for every meal of her life....we have her put her fork down between me at dinner and I try to have a contest to see who can eat the slowest. Also we aren't allowing seconds for carbs (bread/rice/pasta), but allow it for protein and veggies. I'd love to hear how things went the OP from this thread and any other genuinely helpful advice from folks who have been through this with a tween/teen.

Don't do "reviving the thread!" You waste people's time who don't look at the date and answer to original post. Just post your own thread.

Pp is damned if she does, damned if she doesn't. How many times do people write, " there's already a thread on this, run a search before you post"? Now you are blaming pp bcause you are too stupid and/ or lazy to check the date?

[Anonymous]

I hate that the school offers so many unhealthy choices. If you want to be severe, you could pack a lunch every day AND not fund the school lunch account. (Even when I send a homepacked lunch, I find out that my kid ordered some a la carte supplements...)

But that probably isn't a good idea-- we haven't done this (yet).

Also, make sure she has a high protein breakfast so she's not starving at lunch time.