Stop tween from overeating

[Anonymous]

why doesn't he have time for breakfast and lunch? That makes no sense.

Of course he's over eating at night.

make breakfast and lunch happen. Make big oatmeal muffins for breakfast. Buy him Kind bars, make him a PBJ and a banana brown bag lunch.

And please don't think he should have a low fat diet. Fat helps to satiety and curbs overeating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is becoming a problem in our house and DS has a growing belly. It's really not breakfast or lunch that's a concern because he doesn't have time to eat a lot during the school week, but he overeats his dinner. The food is mainly healthy, but the quantity that he eats is problematic. He also likes to eat a snack or dessert each night. I know many parents say to get rid of all junk food in the house, but I don't want to make it a taboo thing for him, so we generally have some cookies or ice cream around. DS also doesn't exercise nearly enough and we constantly encourage (he would say nag) him to take a walk, bike ride, etc. How do parents deal with the portion control issue and telling son that he can't expect to have dessert every night, without it leading to arguments or worse yet a self-conscious child? We have never told DS that he is overweight, but we talk a lot about healthy eating choices and that we can't always be around to guide him. Please no comments from the perfect parents who say they set rules and their kids follow them.

When I don't have time to eat well during the day, I'm starving at dinner and often overeat. Could that be your son's problem? Can you help him rearrange his schedule so that he has time for breakfast and lunch every day? It's not healthy to go all day without eating.

I'm glad someone hit on the root cause. Part of the issue is because of meals not being spread out. My son leaves home at 6:30 every day but never leaves home without breakfast. I work FT, so make sure I plan for it the previous evening , so I can whip up something quick. Evenings they have an apple, orange or a portable fruit like that , before dinner. Also kids need to be in some sports at least 3 days a week - recreational if not competitive. There just isn't enough activity built into their routine.

[Anonymous]

OP says he does not have time to eat a lot. She does not say he skips either or both meals.

[Anonymous]

It maybe growth spurt. My DS becomes quite rotund before a growth spurt and he also sleeps a lot! Then he shoots up and looks rail thin.

All normal. Only thing you need to do is make sure that his food has nutritious calories. Don't worry about the volume for now. So, double helping of wholewheat spaghetti and meatballs with marinara sauce? Absolutely ok for him to have.

Also, get rid of pre-processed junk like cookies, candies, cheetos and cola in the home.

[Anonymous]

OP here and thanks. I should clarify that DS does eat breakfast and we provide a healthy lunch, but he sometimes rushes through it. He is a fast eater and we are always suggesting that he slow down and digest his food because then he'll know if he is full. DS is not into sports (and unfortunately the more overweight he gets, I think the less interested he is because he falls behind), but he will take evening walks with us and we try to get 30 minutes in. I should mention that he also started taking an anxiety medicine that can cause weight gain, although overeating has always been an issue for him. I just hate the thought of him being teased over his weight or not participating in activities because of it (summer is around the corner and he already mentioned being shirtless at the pool). I also know that this sometimes resolves on its own and that I have cousins and adult friends who were very overweight in their tween and teen years, but eventually decided for themselves to do something about it. Sometimes it required them to become more interested in their appearance (or in girls for that matter) to find the motivation to make the change.

[Anonymous]

As a former fat kid, do whatever you have to so that he doesn't get fat. Don't starve the kid, but he'll thank you when he's in high school and wants to socialize with attractive girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS also doesn't exercise nearly enough and we constantly encourage (he would say nag) him to take a walk, bike ride, etc. How do parents deal with the portion control issue and telling son that he can't expect to have dessert every night, without it leading to arguments or worse yet a self-conscious child?

Unfortunately, you've already turned this into a battle of wills. I don't mean to sound like I'm scolding you or telling you that now you're doomed, but you need to get into the mindset that you will make healthful choices for yourself and have things around that will allow him to do the same, and then let it go.

I have teenagers, and they don't always eat the way I think they should, but I know that studies show the more you try to control things, the worse the outcome. I *do* make sure they have options they'll eat (so, for example, I check to see what sort of fruits to have around), I do say I don't want them filling up on X -- as opposed to eating it at all -- because (I think your wonky blood sugar is why you're getting headaches / too much X gives you a stomach ache), but I don't forbid anything. I just say "Yes, but pace yourself, OK?" when they ask if they can have something.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think the key to weight control in kids (and adults) is physical activity through exercise or sports. Cut back on eating alone is not enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here and thanks. I should clarify that DS does eat breakfast and we provide a healthy lunch, but he sometimes rushes through it. He is a fast eater and we are always suggesting that he slow down and digest his food because then he'll know if he is full. DS is not into sports (and unfortunately the more overweight he gets, I think the less interested he is because he falls behind), but he will take evening walks with us and we try to get 30 minutes in. I should mention that he also started taking an anxiety medicine that can cause weight gain, although overeating has always been an issue for him. I just hate the thought of him being teased over his weight or not participating in activities because of it (summer is around the corner and he already mentioned being shirtless at the pool). I also know that this sometimes resolves on its own and that I have cousins and adult friends who were very overweight in their tween and teen years, but eventually decided for themselves to do something about it. Sometimes it required them to become more interested in their appearance (or in girls for that matter) to find the motivation to make the change.

I told my tween that eating food too quickly was not good manners. I asked him to put his silverware down between bites and pause occasionally while eating and join in the conversation. Ask him questions, not generic "how was school" which will get a noncommittal grunt. You need to set a new habit to replace the old one. Unfortunately, short school lunches and breakfast on the go can contribute to this fast eating, so it takes consistent reminders. If your child likes to eat out (mine does) perhaps set a goal of being mannerly enough to go to a nice restaurant for a grown up meal. You can't eat like you're scarfing down McDonalds at a nice place.

Your family walk is great! Stop "trying" to get 30 minutes in, though, and do it. Also, he should be getting at least an hour of good, solid physical activity every day. Lengthen your walks if you can, or start throwing in other family activities on the weekends to help make up for a generally sedentary lifestyle.

If he wants to wear a shirt when swimming, support that. Skin cancer is serious. Get him some nice rash guards so it doesn't look he's the fat kid trying to hide his gut.

[Anonymous]

If he isn't into organized sports, how about joking a gym or buying a used treadmill to use while watching a tv.

[Anonymous]

Oops, I meant "joining" a gym not joking.

[Anonymous]

If the junk food isn't in te house, he won't be able to overheat it. When serving meals, make sure you put the portions on his plate. Don't let him serve himself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think the key to weight control in kids (and adults) is physical activity through exercise or sports. Cut back on eating alone is not enough.

Actually 80% of weight loss/control is diet, kids or adult, but especially kids.

[Anonymous]

I'd like to revive this thread, as we are dealing with something similar with our tween daughter now. She complains about her pot belly and feeling "fat" but then she will eat to the point of making herself feel sick (tummy ache or nausea). Also discovered she was recently buying chocolate milk, pudding and chips/other carb filled snack in addition to the main entree at school on the days that she was buying lunch. (It's unclear to me if she ate the entree.) I can't understand eating to the point of feeling uncomfortable - have never done it myself except for the occasional Thanksgiving meal. We can manage her eating at dinner and breakfast, but we won't be with her for every meal of her life....we have her put her fork down between me at dinner and I try to have a contest to see who can eat the slowest. Also we aren't allowing seconds for carbs (bread/rice/pasta), but allow it for protein and veggies. I'd love to hear how things went the OP from this thread and any other genuinely helpful advice from folks who have been through this with a tween/teen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just get rid of the junk food. No real reason to have it in the house. It should be a special occasion thing.

Easier said than done. What about oatmeal and grits, or other high carb foods, which aren't really unhealthy, which my kids like to eat? It's so difficult.

Grits? Really?