Stop tween from overeating

[Anonymous]

This is becoming a problem in our house and DS has a growing belly. It's really not breakfast or lunch that's a concern because he doesn't have time to eat a lot during the school week, but he overeats his dinner. The food is mainly healthy, but the quantity that he eats is problematic. He also likes to eat a snack or dessert each night. I know many parents say to get rid of all junk food in the house, but I don't want to make it a taboo thing for him, so we generally have some cookies or ice cream around. DS also doesn't exercise nearly enough and we constantly encourage (he would say nag) him to take a walk, bike ride, etc. How do parents deal with the portion control issue and telling son that he can't expect to have dessert every night, without it leading to arguments or worse yet a self-conscious child? We have never told DS that he is overweight, but we talk a lot about healthy eating choices and that we can't always be around to guide him. Please no comments from the perfect parents who say they set rules and their kids follow them.

[Anonymous]

it's been our experience that our ds's appetite goes up and down along with his growth spurts. maybe your son is getting ready for a spurt. I wouldn't make a big deal of his eating.

[Anonymous]

I would just get rid of the junk food. No real reason to have it in the house. It should be a special occasion thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would just get rid of the junk food. No real reason to have it in the house. It should be a special occasion thing.

Easier said than done. What about oatmeal and grits, or other high carb foods, which aren't really unhealthy, which my kids like to eat? It's so difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just get rid of the junk food. No real reason to have it in the house. It should be a special occasion thing.

Easier said than done. What about oatmeal and grits, or other high carb foods, which aren't really unhealthy, which my kids like to eat? It's so difficult.

Oatmeal and grits are not junk food. (At least not whole grain grits.) Why would you want to get rid of them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is becoming a problem in our house and DS has a growing belly. It's really not breakfast or lunch that's a concern because he doesn't have time to eat a lot during the school week, but he overeats his dinner. The food is mainly healthy, but the quantity that he eats is problematic. He also likes to eat a snack or dessert each night. I know many parents say to get rid of all junk food in the house, but I don't want to make it a taboo thing for him, so we generally have some cookies or ice cream around. DS also doesn't exercise nearly enough and we constantly encourage (he would say nag) him to take a walk, bike ride, etc. How do parents deal with the portion control issue and telling son that he can't expect to have dessert every night, without it leading to arguments or worse yet a self-conscious child? We have never told DS that he is overweight, but we talk a lot about healthy eating choices and that we can't always be around to guide him. Please no comments from the perfect parents who say they set rules and their kids follow them.

When I don't have time to eat well during the day, I'm starving at dinner and often overeat. Could that be your son's problem? Can you help him rearrange his schedule so that he has time for breakfast and lunch every day? It's not healthy to go all day without eating.

[Anonymous]

What about only having cookies and ice cream occasionally, when you make them yourself as a family? And have fruit and such available for regular dessert type foods? You can make a nice bowl of fruit and top it with some homemade whipped cream & chocolate shavings. Delicious and my tween doesn't complain it's not a dessert.

If portion control is an issue with the dessert, the make sure you have appropriate containers. With cookies, we tend to make "grab and go" bags. Yes, it's wasteful, but it means no one's sitting there eating 8 cookies when they should only have 2. We don't call them out as portion control. We say it's handy to have them already prepared for making lunches or grabbing on the way out of the door to a late sports practice. We got small ice cream bowls for ice cream.

We do not have dessert every night. We pretty much let our growing children eat what they want at meals, but they can't just grab more rolls. They need to have some more spinach and some more grilled chicken too. Just small amounts. We also let the kids call "dibs" on certain food. We have a child who adores rolls, and once she realized she could ask for one to be saved for her to eat for breakfast (with an egg), she stopped feeling like she needed to eat several with dinner.

Another thing that helps us is when there's a food a particular child craves, teach them how to make it. Teaching my son how to make cookies and letting him see we had the ingredients in the house helped curb his tendency to grab 8 cookies. If he wants them, he can make them. They are not a rare commodity that he needs to stock up on because he might never get them again. We went through a period when he was making cookies daily, and he was feeding the neighborhood with them because I didn't want them hanging out in the house. He enjoyed the positive feedback he got from sharing his goodies and now he will make a batch of cupcakes, set aside one for every member of the family, and then make up plates of the rest for our neighbors.

As for exercise, if you can get him some active friends. Or set up regular family activities. Go on a hike, go geocaching, go swimming. Ride bikes. Don't make it seem like you're sending him out to get hot and sweaty while you sit inside and watch TV. Even consider giving him an option - he can go for a bike ride, or help you wash dishes. My couch potato would always choose exercise over chores and over time she actually discovered she enjoyed going out and roller skating or playing with neighborhood kids.

[Anonymous]

For portion control, make smaller amounts of the less healthy part of the meal. Enough pasta for everyone to have a good size serving, and lots of veggies, salad and turkey meatballs if he's still hungry. One roll per person but lots of chicken breasts and quinoa and veggies.

He needs to eat more earlier in the day so he isn't so starving at dinner. You make make healthy, filling breakfasts ahead of time he can grab going out the door. I put veggies and diced ham in cupcake trays (spray with Pam first) and full with eggs, the last a few days in the fridge. PB, banana and honey sandwiches on whole grain bread is another easy option. Or make healthy muffins you can freeze, we like these: http://www.yellowblissroad.com/zucchini-carrot-oatmeal-muffins/

And you need to find a balance between ice cream every night and making it taboo. Buy little single serving cups and he can have one during the week and one during the weekend. Or maybe healthier dessert options, I add chocolate chips to these and serve them for dessert - http://thegreenforks.com/popeye-muffins/

[Anonymous]

I worry more about the not exercising. Does he do any sport during the week? I would try to get him involved in something. My kids hate team sports but both do individual sports. His body may need the food to grow but he really needs the exercise.

[Anonymous]

Let him have dessert at lunch or at his after school snack. Then there are more hours to the day to burn off sugar and calories.

[Anonymous]

you say you nag him to go for a walk, or to go ride his bike. Do you go with him? If I just kick my kids outside, they don't get much exercise. They need company for that. Either you need to get up and go do something active with him (leading by example is super effective), or you need to get him to do something sporty with other kids. And I find with my son, sometimes some serious pushing is required. Also, in my opinion, dessert shouldn't be a self-serve kind of thing. It should be portioned, and eaten together after dinner. I don't think kids should be expected to have an appropriate amount of self-control when it comes to junk food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just get rid of the junk food. No real reason to have it in the house. It should be a special occasion thing.

Easier said than done. What about oatmeal and grits, or other high carb foods, which aren't really unhealthy, which my kids like to eat? It's so difficult.

Let your kid heathy foods in greater quantity if he wants. "Carbs" aren't necessarily bad.

If you're concerned your kid has a belly, get him enrolled in a karate, swim, or soccer class. Or better yet, go for a walk with them.

[Anonymous]

I thought it was fairly well established that skipping breakfast leads to weight gain. I do not let my DC go to school without eating breakfast. Blood sugar gets all messed up when one skips. Lunch is a must as well. Why doesn't your son have time? My DC does not exercise enough but is quite slender. Also has a snack after school. A lot of middle schoolers get a little chubby and then slim down with growth. But to me not eating breakfast is the likely problem. He is overeating at dinner to get enough calories in for the whole day.

[Anonymous]

Just decide that you are only buying ice cream/cookies whatever 2 times per month (whatever you choose). If it gets eaten on day 1 it is gone. See if he is still hungry for that dessert/snack if it is just fruit or a yogurt.

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of people posting don't have older tweens and teens. You can tell by the confident way they assume you can shape your kid's actions so simply.

If I announced to my 12 year old son that he would be riding his bike for 30 minutes after school each day, or take up cross country, he'd laugh sweetly. Then not do it. (Or if manipulated him by imposing a compelling-enough hardship if he refused, he -might- take up cross country/tennis/fencing -- and resent the hell out of his parents while sabotaging the activity).

You're in a tough spot OP. What are your family genetics like? Both sets of grandparents too