DD caught me with AP

[Anonymous]

Clearly this is troll post to pit the ultra conservative and the sluts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pretty sure this is a troll post. I remember this EXACT thread a year or two ago.

I don't know who is in more need of a life- trollina or me.

Plus there's another brand-new "I caught my GF" thread up above. Sometimes these troll posts come in twos and threes.

[Anonymous]

OP here. This is not a troll post. I don't know what gives that impression. I am really really sorry this happened. When I came clean with DH, this is what he told me. He is not sure what he wants to do at this moment. It is very clear and has been clear for some time that our marriage has been broken. The kiss is a symptom of this, not a cause. The cause, he says, is our inability to effectively and constructively deal with intractable differences that revolve around careers and money. Every fight we seem to have are around those two things - oh, and housework. He also says that he knows that I've probably been seeing this guy on and off for some time, and that it is very poor judgement on my part to have brought him home. "You f**ked up," he said, "And now it is on you to repair whatever relationship you want to have with our daughter." He is coming back from his latest business trip this Friday, says he is not sure whether he wants me to pick him up at the airport, not sure whether he wants to celebrate Easter as a family. He told me I need to get into therapy and fix myself and figure out how to go about fixing relationship with DD.

[Anonymous]

Oh, and he didn't seem to care about your relationship with this guy??? Did you omit that, or is he having his own affair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This is not a troll post. I don't know what gives that impression. I am really really sorry this happened. When I came clean with DH, this is what he told me. He is not sure what he wants to do at this moment. It is very clear and has been clear for some time that our marriage has been broken. The kiss is a symptom of this, not a cause. The cause, he says, is our inability to effectively and constructively deal with intractable differences that revolve around careers and money. Every fight we seem to have are around those two things - oh, and housework. He also says that he knows that I've probably been seeing this guy on and off for some time, and that it is very poor judgement on my part to have brought him home. "You f**ked up," he said, "And now it is on you to repair whatever relationship you want to have with our daughter." He is coming back from his latest business trip this Friday, says he is not sure whether he wants me to pick him up at the airport, not sure whether he wants to celebrate Easter as a family. He told me I need to get into therapy and fix myself and figure out how to go about fixing relationship with DD.

Your H sounds very grounded and he is right. This is YOUR relationship with your DD.

My teen son caught his dad 8 months ago. It was a really bad 1st month, but I encouraged him to spend time with his dad and to power through the hard feelings. I am the cheated on spouse though, so it's not like you can tell your DD that. I am the one that my son trusted to know how to treat somebody with respect even when they wrong you.

This really comes down to how well your H deals with it.

Some things my H did that made me want to help him with his relationship with his son was start therapy immediately, like the week after he was caught. Went to therapy 2 times a week. 100% admitted it was his fault, never saw OW again, no breakup call, nothing and never played the I would not have cheated if you <fill in the blank with lame excuse>. He moved to the guest room. He treated me with respect and did not blame, fight or abandon the kids. He became more engaged with the family schedule.

He sat the teen down and explained that when you make mistakes there are consequences and his consequences are big. He did not cry or complain when the teen called him names and said he hated him. It is really hard for my son to "do the right thing" because "dad didn't". This is in relationship to drinking parties, pot, etc. But I explain, bad decisions have bad consequences and sometimes those consequences are not immediate.

good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Your H sounds very grounded and he is right. This is YOUR relationship with your DD.

My teen son caught his dad 8 months ago. It was a really bad 1st month, but I encouraged him to spend time with his dad and to power through the hard feelings. I am the cheated on spouse though, so it's not like you can tell your DD that. I am the one that my son trusted to know how to treat somebody with respect even when they wrong you.

This really comes down to how well your H deals with it.

Some things my H did that made me want to help him with his relationship with his son was start therapy immediately, like the week after he was caught. Went to therapy 2 times a week. 100% admitted it was his fault, never saw OW again, no breakup call, nothing and never played the I would not have cheated if you <fill in the blank with lame excuse>. He moved to the guest room. He treated me with respect and did not blame, fight or abandon the kids. He became more engaged with the family schedule.

He sat the teen down and explained that when you make mistakes there are consequences and his consequences are big. He did not cry or complain when the teen called him names and said he hated him. It is really hard for my son to "do the right thing" because "dad didn't". This is in relationship to drinking parties, pot, etc. But I explain, bad decisions have bad consequences and sometimes those consequences are not immediate.

good luck!

[phone]
You are an awesome mother and person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This is not a troll post. I don't know what gives that impression. I am really really sorry this happened. When I came clean with DH, this is what he told me. He is not sure what he wants to do at this moment. It is very clear and has been clear for some time that our marriage has been broken. The kiss is a symptom of this, not a cause. The cause, he says, is our inability to effectively and constructively deal with intractable differences that revolve around careers and money. Every fight we seem to have are around those two things - oh, and housework. He also says that he knows that I've probably been seeing this guy on and off for some time, and that it is very poor judgement on my part to have brought him home. "You f**ked up," he said, "And now it is on you to repair whatever relationship you want to have with our daughter." He is coming back from his latest business trip this Friday, says he is not sure whether he wants me to pick him up at the airport, not sure whether he wants to celebrate Easter as a family. He told me I need to get into therapy and fix myself and figure out how to go about fixing relationship with DD.

I asked this on a prior page and you have yet to answer.

How did the husband know you were having an affair to begin with?

[Anonymous]

What does AP stand for?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does AP stand for?

Affair Partner

One of the many things I learned from DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pretty sure this is a troll post. I remember this EXACT thread a year or two ago.

I don't know who is in more need of a life- trollina or me.

+1 or a Lifetime movie

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does AP stand for?

Affair Partner

One of the many things I learned from DCUM.

In case you need to educate yourself:
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/2750.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This is not a troll post. I don't know what gives that impression. I am really really sorry this happened. When I came clean with DH, this is what he told me. He is not sure what he wants to do at this moment. It is very clear and has been clear for some time that our marriage has been broken. The kiss is a symptom of this, not a cause. The cause, he says, is our inability to effectively and constructively deal with intractable differences that revolve around careers and money. Every fight we seem to have are around those two things - oh, and housework. He also says that he knows that I've probably been seeing this guy on and off for some time, and that it is very poor judgement on my part to have brought him home. "You f**ked up," he said, "And now it is on you to repair whatever relationship you want to have with our daughter." He is coming back from his latest business trip this Friday, says he is not sure whether he wants me to pick him up at the airport, not sure whether he wants to celebrate Easter as a family. He told me I need to get into therapy and fix myself and figure out how to go about fixing relationship with DD.

I asked this on a prior page and you have yet to answer.

How did the husband know you were having an affair to begin with?

Record of texts on our cell phone bill. Lots of texts back and forth to the same number, unexplained long absences from home, "late" work, etc. Also, once said he left his cell phone in my car and was able to track it to an address which was a hotel.

[Anonymous]

Whatever was going one between me an AP is partially DH's fault for not paying enough attention to me, being the DH I need, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whatever was going one between me an AP is partially DH's fault for not paying enough attention to me, being the DH I need, etc.

You need therapy ASAP.

[Anonymous]

I don't judge anyone for having an affair because I have no idea your circumstances. I do judge you for being so reckless and putting your child in a situation where they can catch you. This makes you a disgusting person and a horrible parent. You should be ashamed. Your daughter will never forget this and it will forever color her view of you.

Take a bow you piece of shit