DD caught me with AP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Clearly this is troll post to pit the ultra conservative and the sluts.

I'm not even ultra conservative. I'm in an open marriage and think the OP is disgusting. I'd NEVER expose my kids to my sex life. Never.

You already have and are no better. If you two didn't have kids, another matter because you both agree. You have no right to do that with children.

Come again? Coherently this time.

It was clear. if you have a open marriage with kids you've already involved your children in your deviant lifestyle.

LOL! You are a sicko.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I was DH, I would remain calm and pretty much do what he did. Behind the scenes I'd be getting my shit in order. Hiring a lawyer, transferring funds to an account that's private, consulting financial advisors about the best options in selling the home to maximize my income and then serving divorce papers. Chances are this has been going on a while and this isn't the first time. Your brazen behavior suggests to me you didn't think you'd get caught.

inwouldnt waste time either. I'd be at the attorney's office the next morning.

Well that would be idiotic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Clearly this is troll post to pit the ultra conservative and the sluts.

I'm not even ultra conservative. I'm in an open marriage and think the OP is disgusting. I'd NEVER expose my kids to my sex life. Never.

You already have and are no better. If you two didn't have kids, another matter because you both agree. You have no right to do that with children.

Come again? Coherently this time.

It was clear. if you have a open marriage with kids you've already involved your children in your deviant lifestyle.

How? I'm honestly curious. From the sounds of it, PP and her husband have a mutually agreed on thing going where she involves other people in their lives. I mean, I'm assuming they aren't bringing this person home around their kid? I'm not saying I would do it, but I guess I don't understand how or why the kids are involved. If DH and I like BDSM as part of our sex life, is that also involving the kids in a "deviant" behavior?

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately you can't offer your DD any reassurance about your marriage. You would be lying to her if you did.

All you can do is reassure her about your live for her and try to repair your relationship.

I'm not slamming you for the affair - life is complicated. But you should never have put her in a position to discover you with your AP. That behavior needs to stop immediately.

Your focus needs to be on your DD and figuring out if your marriage is salvageable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm not even ultra conservative. I'm in an open marriage and think the OP is disgusting. I'd NEVER expose my kids to my sex life. Never.

She made a mistake. Cut her some slack. She fucked up, big time. Have you never fucked up???? Realllllly?

OP, good luck. Let your DD know how sorry you are and how much you love her. Full stop. Deal with your marriage independently of dealing with your daughter.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This is not a troll post. I don't know what gives that impression. I am really really sorry this happened. When I came clean with DH, this is what he told me. He is not sure what he wants to do at this moment. It is very clear and has been clear for some time that our marriage has been broken. The kiss is a symptom of this, not a cause. The cause, he says, is our inability to effectively and constructively deal with intractable differences that revolve around careers and money. Every fight we seem to have are around those two things - oh, and housework. He also says that he knows that I've probably been seeing this guy on and off for some time, and that it is very poor judgement on my part to have brought him home. "You f**ked up," he said, "And now it is on you to repair whatever relationship you want to have with our daughter." He is coming back from his latest business trip this Friday, says he is not sure whether he wants me to pick him up at the airport, not sure whether he wants to celebrate Easter as a family. He told me I need to get into therapy and fix myself and figure out how to go about fixing relationship with DD.

Jesus. Ya think?

[Anonymous]

Also, said he doesn't want to celebrate his 50th birthday!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, said he doesn't want to celebrate his 50th birthday!

Are you OP? If yes, you can't really blame the guy. I am sure he is hurting too knowing that now your DD is involved in all this mess. Has he told you if he plans to stay married to you? How is your DD treating you?

[Anonymous]

I think you got what you deserved, OP. I feel sorry for your husband and daughter.

Why do people even post crap like this?
So, you have a pretty serious situation of your own creating and you think, “Yeah - let me seek advice on an anonymous board to see what strangers might say/think.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, said he doesn't want to celebrate his 50th birthday!

This actually surprises you under these circumstances?
And you actually think you can convince your DD that you'll still be a family?
You're still living in a haze, OP. You need to look reality in the face.

[Anonymous]

I'd look to Donna Martin and the relationship with her overbearing mother as guidance.

It never did fully recover and she rebelled by dating miscreants like Ray Pruitt. I believe tattoos eventually made their way onto the scene.

Way to go OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, said he doesn't want to celebrate his 50th birthday!

Are you OP? If yes, you can't really blame the guy. I am sure he is hurting too knowing that now your DD is involved in all this mess. Has he told you if he plans to stay married to you? How is your DD treating you?

Says he doesn't know what he wants to do yet. . . blew up at me yesterday when I asked him again what does he intend to do.

[Anonymous]

I think the OP said a page or two back that she was done with this thread because she was getting beat up on here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, said he doesn't want to celebrate his 50th birthday!

Are you OP? If yes, you can't really blame the guy. I am sure he is hurting too knowing that now your DD is involved in all this mess. Has he told you if he plans to stay married to you? How is your DD treating you?

Says he doesn't know what he wants to do yet. . . blew up at me yesterday when I asked him again what does he intend to do.

failure #1 - you cheated
failure #2 - you got caught

now stop feeling sorry for yourself - you've created this shit storm, put your family on the precipice of destruction and now you have deal with the fall out. Pull up your big girl panties and take all the anger and animosity that is deserved and coming your way.

[Anonymous]

If/when OP's DD gets married, there wouldn't be any need for her to attend the wedding. DD would already know her loving mother doesn't appreciate the sanctity of marriage.

Saves an invite and an expense of paying for 2 attendees (OP and her lover(s))