H threw potful of dirty dishwater on my before work today

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:By chance, did your husband start this thread -- "Wife aggressively grabs my plate during dinner”

If not, what is it with all the fighting around dishes????

I blame it all of Theresa Guidice and her table flipping a couple of years ago - all of the reality shows have normalized this sort of behavior.

[Anonymous]

OP: no, unrelated thread. I'm just at my wits end so I posted aboit the crazy. I'm not sure our therapist is competent, she allows him to call me an asshole during sessions. However, H is unwilling to switch therapists and I just really need a body to witness all this craziness.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you want him to move out, and it's over, it's time to disengage.

Just....disengage. Meet with a lawyer, understand your legal rights, and move forward with a separation in as cordial a way as possible. It takes two people to fight. Just don't fight. Don't have any expectations, etc. because getting into these back and forths is not helping.

[Anonymous]

Or, you can work on this together.

I suspect a lot of this is rooted in his frustration with finding a job. Sounds like he has given up. Perhaps he feels as if he is not getting support from you (whether that is true or not). I know if I were in your situation, I would probably be nagging my DH to get out and start looking, which would probably make things worse. I am not saying you are doing this.

I may be a little Pollyanna here, but try to think about what attracted you to him in the first place. Try thinking about the fun times you all have had. I am betting you are not seeing your REAL husband, but one who is frustrated and is feeling absolutely no self worth.

This is not meant to criticize you, because I sense that you have tried to make things better and the fact that you are in counseling shows that. But, since you came here looking for some advice, I am suggesting to step back, take a deep breath, and see if you can approach things from a new perspective.

And, OP, I do hope you are able to laugh about this one day WITH your spouse. Because, while I know you were very upset, your posting was quite humorous.

[Anonymous]

Thanks 15:12. I needed your kindness.

I haven't been nagging him the past 6 months, but unemployment is a cyclical issue in our relationship, so I need a separation anyeay, at least financially.

[Anonymous]

Your husband assaulted you. No one seems to see that but he did.

Time to pack yourself and your kid up and look for a new place to live, find a lawyer, file for divorce. Don't wait until next time because next time might be your last.

I am serious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband assaulted you. No one seems to see that but he did.

Time to pack yourself and your kid up and look for a new place to live, find a lawyer, file for divorce. Don't wait until next time because next time might be your last.

I am serious.

Throwing water on someone is hardly assault. Maybe that is why no one seems to see that.
When we were first married, I threw a container of cottage cheese at my DH. (I missed him and it went all over the kitchen) Thank goodness he did not call the police or walk out.
We have been happily married for 35 years. We laugh about the cottage cheese now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband assaulted you. No one seems to see that but he did.

Time to pack yourself and your kid up and look for a new place to live, find a lawyer, file for divorce. Don't wait until next time because next time might be your last.

I am serious.

I agree with this. I actually found nothing funny in that post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband assaulted you. No one seems to see that but he did.

Time to pack yourself and your kid up and look for a new place to live, find a lawyer, file for divorce. Don't wait until next time because next time might be your last.

I am serious.

Throwing water on someone is hardly assault. Maybe that is why no one seems to see that.
When we were first married, I threw a container of cottage cheese at my DH. (I missed him and it went all over the kitchen) Thank goodness he did not call the police or walk out.
We have been happily married for 35 years. We laugh about the cottage cheese now.

It IS an assault whether you want to believe it or not. And it's not fucking funny.

Tell your happy story to these women

http://www.thehotline.org/2013/04/when-the-fighting-starts-tips-for-protection/

I've been married longer than you and we have never thrown anything at each other. People sharing love don't throw things at each other. Ever. My kids never saw ugliness in our house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband assaulted you. No one seems to see that but he did.

Time to pack yourself and your kid up and look for a new place to live, find a lawyer, file for divorce. Don't wait until next time because next time might be your last.

I am serious.

I agree. It's a first step.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband assaulted you. No one seems to see that but he did.

Time to pack yourself and your kid up and look for a new place to live, find a lawyer, file for divorce. Don't wait until next time because next time might be your last.

I am serious.

I agree. It's a first step.

I think this could jeopardize custody if he claims kidnapping/abandonment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Assuming this really happened what is it with you guys who find it funny?

I don't find it funny, but the whole incident was RIDICULOUS! Who cares why he put the dishes in the sink? And then to take a photo of of a pot for discussion later? OP would rather be right than get along. Then the husband throws water on her? You both sound insane. I feel sorry for your child.

I think you should move out, and he will have to find a job and support himself like an adult.

[Anonymous]

You've reached a point of no return. Plan your exit. This behavior is insanity. Don't raise a child in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Don't let a suicase full of cheese become your Big Fork and Spoon. Paraphrased from Marie Barone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband assaulted you. No one seems to see that but he did.

Time to pack yourself and your kid up and look for a new place to live, find a lawyer, file for divorce. Don't wait until next time because next time might be your last.

I am serious.

Throwing water on someone is hardly assault. Maybe that is why no one seems to see that.
When we were first married, I threw a container of cottage cheese at my DH. (I missed him and it went all over the kitchen) Thank goodness he did not call the police or walk out.
We have been happily married for 35 years. We laugh about the cottage cheese now.

It IS an assault whether you want to believe it or not. And it's not fucking funny.

+1

Doesn't anyone remember the person who got charged for throwing a soda on someone?

http://assault.lawyers.com/assault-and-battery.html

OP, document. See a lawyer. Start separation. This is not going to get better.