H threw potful of dirty dishwater on my before work today

[Anonymous]

because I asked him why he dumped into the sink a bunch of neatly stacked dishes I had left on the counter.

Context: we are in limbo and I want to move out but he has been unemployed and I cannot afford two mortgages. This morning he threw dishes from counter into sink. I asked why he did that and he pointed to a pot I had left in the sink and said it was unacceptable. I then objected saying How is that unacceptable? He said there's food in the pot. I said there isn't and proceeded to take a picture of the pot for later discussion, he threw the water from the pot on me.

[Anonymous]

If he's unemployed, I think doing dishes should be part of his chores. Sounds more like he's a stay at home husband.

[Anonymous]

The fact that you want to have a later discussion about a pot, and the fact that you took a picture of a pot in a sink to use as evidence in said later discussion point to a high level of crazy.

[Anonymous]

OP to PP on the crazy: I agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact that you want to have a later discussion about a pot, and the fact that you took a picture of a pot in a sink to use as evidence in said later discussion point to a high level of crazy.

I agree. And, you don't have to pay two mortgages when one of you move out. One of you moves out, pays rent and the other gets a roommate in the marital home to help cover the additional cost.

[Anonymous]

OP again: which is why I want out but he's been unemployed 6 months and not looking for work. Normally his earnings (when he's employed) are 50% higher than mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact that you want to have a later discussion about a pot, and the fact that you took a picture of a pot in a sink to use as evidence in said later discussion point to a high level of crazy.

I agree. And, you don't have to pay two mortgages when one of you move out. One of you moves out, pays rent and the other gets a roommate in the marital home to help cover the additional cost.

But how could an unemployed man pay rent? Wouldn't this mean OP is paying the rent + mortgage?

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry, OP.

Your spouse is clearly disturbed. Did he always have a tendency to being volatile or did he become so during unemployment?

If he manages to understand that his behavior is wrong, that he should work towards not physically expressing his anger like this, but in more constructive ways, like exercising, you might still have a future together.

However a separation might be good for both of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact that you want to have a later discussion about a pot, and the fact that you took a picture of a pot in a sink to use as evidence in said later discussion point to a high level of crazy.

I agree. And, you don't have to pay two mortgages when one of you move out. One of you moves out, pays rent and the other gets a roommate in the marital home to help cover the additional cost.

But how could an unemployed man pay rent? Wouldn't this mean OP is paying the rent + mortgage?

Why? Why would it mean that? Do you guys have kids, OP? Why would OP need to pay his rent? My ex doesn't pay MY rent.

[Anonymous]

OP: yes we have a 6 year old girl

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:because I asked him why he dumped into the sink a bunch of neatly stacked dishes I had left on the counter.

Context: we are in limbo and I want to move out but he has been unemployed and I cannot afford two mortgages. This morning he threw dishes from counter into sink. I asked why he did that and he pointed to a pot I had left in the sink and said it was unacceptable. I then objected saying How is that unacceptable? He said there's food in the pot. I said there isn't and proceeded to take a picture of the pot for later discussion, he threw the water from the pot on me.

His behavior is beneath contempt--but taking a photo of the pot for later discussion is also controlling and weird. Good thing you guys are calling quits. OP start thinking about your next relationship and whether you want to be taking pictures of dishes and married to someone who would throw dirty water on you. I mean this kindly, but his behavior and your behavior screams for individual therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:because I asked him why he dumped into the sink a bunch of neatly stacked dishes I had left on the counter.

Context: we are in limbo and I want to move out but he has been unemployed and I cannot afford two mortgages. This morning he threw dishes from counter into sink. I asked why he did that and he pointed to a pot I had left in the sink and said it was unacceptable. I then objected saying How is that unacceptable? He said there's food in the pot. I said there isn't and proceeded to take a picture of the pot for later discussion, he threw the water from the pot on me.

I got this far before laughing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: yes we have a 6 year old girl

You need to be prepared to financially support yourself and your child for the foreseeable future. Do not wait for DH to get a job. Start the process now. Petition later if he ever actually gets another job. Life is too short.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:because I asked him why he dumped into the sink a bunch of neatly stacked dishes I had left on the counter.

Context: we are in limbo and I want to move out but he has been unemployed and I cannot afford two mortgages. This morning he threw dishes from counter into sink. I asked why he did that and he pointed to a pot I had left in the sink and said it was unacceptable. I then objected saying How is that unacceptable? He said there's food in the pot. I said there isn't and proceeded to take a picture of the pot for later discussion, he threw the water from the pot on me.

His behavior is beneath contempt--but taking a photo of the pot for later discussion is also controlling and weird. Good thing you guys are calling quits. OP start thinking about your next relationship and whether you want to be taking pictures of dishes and married to someone who would throw dirty water on you. I mean this kindly, but his behavior and your behavior screams for individual therapy.

I don't know, his behavior sees like he finally cracked under the pressure.

[Anonymous]

Definitely start divorce proceedings. This whole dynamic is crazy and you shouldn't be together. I also bet that going through a divorce will convince him to go out and find a job. Don't stay in a marriage to support a husband you can't stand.