In-laws had no reaction to first grandchild news??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would ask your husband to call them and ask them why they reacted the way they did. They might have a reason.

My mom reacted similarly, and then throughout my pregnancy, she barely talked to me. Nearly every phone call went through my husband, and I'm talking about calls like "what time should we come for Christmas," calls (not pregnancy-related). I believe it was because her first baby died within just hours after being born (45+ years ago), and she was concerned we'd have the same issues. But she wouldn't talk about it. By the time our baby was a couple weeks old, she was fine.

People are weird. Who knows why your inlaws reacted like that. But please, do have your husband (or you can) ask why. I think you'll feel better knowing.

+1. I think there's some history here that you don't know about. Sorry though, OP, that must have been disappointing. Congrats to you and your husband!!

[Anonymous]

It's perfectly acceptable and common to say "we're pregnant." Sorry to burst your mila kunis bubble but partners are just as involved in the ups and downs, the joys, and the sadness, the temping, and tracking, raising and care of our children. Kudos to the Jimmy Kimmel skit though. Glad you all are fans of late night TV. I get to watch too cause my partner gets up with our baby at night for feedings, because we both had a baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's perfectly acceptable and common to say "we're pregnant." Sorry to burst your mila kunis bubble but partners are just as involved in the ups and downs, the joys, and the sadness, the temping, and tracking, raising and care of our children. Kudos to the Jimmy Kimmel skit though. Glad you all are fans of late night TV. I get to watch too cause my partner gets up with our baby at night for feedings, because we both had a baby.

But only one of you was pregnant Immature twit. It may be common, but it is not acceptable to say "we're pregnant".

[Anonymous]

That sucks, OP. I had a similar experience when I told my dad I was pregnant. He reacted with complete and utter shock and even said, "I guess I knew this would be coming eventually and I've been trying to prepare myself for it, but...wow." No excitement or joy whatsoever. I'm 32 and been married for 1.5 years so it's not like this should be unexpected news. His wife (my stepmom) just emailed me today to say congratulations -- six weeks after I told my dad the news. I hadn't heard a word of acknowledgment from her until today.

Some people are just weird about good news. I'm sorry that your in-laws reacted so terribly and that your husband is disappointed by their reaction. I hope as your pregnancy progresses that they get more excited. I'm sure they'll be fully on board by the time your son or daughter arrives -- it's hard to not get excited at the arrival of an actual little human being.

Also, congratulations!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's perfectly acceptable and common to say "we're pregnant." Sorry to burst your mila kunis bubble but partners are just as involved in the ups and downs, the joys, and the sadness, the temping, and tracking, raising and care of our children. Kudos to the Jimmy Kimmel skit though. Glad you all are fans of late night TV. I get to watch too cause my partner gets up with our baby at night for feedings, because we both had a baby.

Until such time as men carry babies in their womb, THEY ARE NOT PREGNANT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's perfectly acceptable and common to say "we're pregnant." Sorry to burst your mila kunis bubble but partners are just as involved in the ups and downs, the joys, and the sadness, the temping, and tracking, raising and care of our children. Kudos to the Jimmy Kimmel skit though. Glad you all are fans of late night TV. I get to watch too cause my partner gets up with our baby at night for feedings, because we both had a baby.

But only one of you was pregnant Immature twit. It may be common, but it is not acceptable to say "we're pregnant".

It's not common in my circles to say "we're pregnant". Do you realize you sound like a moron every time it come out of your mouth?

[Anonymous]

Time to grow up. Not all families are the same.

Their lack of reaction is not related to you. It's their culture or personality:
http://www.amazon.com/Type-Talk-Personality-Types-Determine/dp/0440507049

BTW, my MIL had lots of "helpful" hints that were basically taken from baby books from the turn of the century. (I'm not kidding; we're talking 1890s.)

[Anonymous]

Maybe it wasn't about you, it was about them, and the shock of transitioning to being grandparents, since this is the first one?
My old college friend didn't tell me till 2 months out that she was about to be a grandma...we talked about her younger kids, her planned trip to disney, her exhusbands' needing a therapist, but not a word...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:partners are just as involved in the ups and downs, the joys, and the sadness, the temping, and tracking, raising and care of our children.

Oh, I do love a nice barrage of Hallmarkian gushing from someone with fewer kids, and younger ones, than my partner and I have.

He gestated none of them. He makes fun of "we're pregnant" because he knows what I went through and he knows he didn't.

PS He didn't lactate, either.

[Anonymous]

Eh, let people be who they are.

My dad is the best FIL and grandfather ever and when we told him we were engaged he looked at my DH and said

"Do you have any money?"

And when we told him we were pregnant he shrugged and said "that's nice."

He also presented me with an extensive financial plan with contingencies for chronic illness, early death, and divorce the next day for how the child would be taken care of.

It's who he is (first generation Italian son of bricklayers).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh, let people be who they are.

My dad is the best FIL and grandfather ever and when we told him we were engaged he looked at my DH and said

"Do you have any money?"

And when we told him we were pregnant he shrugged and said "that's nice."

He also presented me with an extensive financial plan with contingencies for chronic illness, early death, and divorce the next day for how the child would be taken care of.

It's who he is (first generation Italian son of bricklayers).

Yeah, I've realized my father shows love by making sure we have stability. He showed no excitement about his grandchild whatsoever, but then he sent us a sizable check to start his college fund a few weeks after he was born.

[Anonymous]

We had a negative reaction...6 years later and they are awesome grandparents. Not sure they like me, esp. MIL but I juat overlook it bc they are a) polite enough and b) genuinely love and look out for pur kids. It will likely be fine and prob. be better than fine ?

[Anonymous]

If they didn't even coldly congratulate you, which is the proper etiquette anywhere in the world for such news, then they are indeed beyond help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
If they didn't even coldly congratulate you, which is the proper etiquette anywhere in the world for such news, then they are indeed beyond help.

If you are married and have been together for years, and they didn't so much as say congrats, let go of any further expectations. Be cordial, extend invitations, visit if asked, but let go of expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like my in-laws when we told them we are engaged after 6 years of being together. They were silent for about a minute. Awkward... Then when we told them we were pregnant, they didn't even say congratulations. Some people are just weird or don't know how to express excitement. Don't let it bother you and celebrate the news with the people that are excited!

If you know they're like that, then maybe you need to announce the news differently. Such as a balloon bouquet or flowers.

After so many years, we don't care enough to go through all that. A simple phone call is all they get now.