awful night with bf- any tips?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I predict he's going to dump you soon.

Then you're going to spend your 20s and 30s cycling through guys who don't "treat you right."

Then you're going to get increasingly less interest until you desperately marry someone when you are like 39/40 and are running out of time to have a baby.

Then you'll regret losing this current BF because you were so immature and unrealistic about what being in a relationship means.

You sound bitter. Dumped by an extroverted girl, huh?

I think some people on this thread, including the OP are confused about the definition of "extrovert" vs "emotional leech"

[Anonymous]

OP here.

BF says he doesn't feel appreciation.

How can I show it to him in a way he appreciates?

[Anonymous]

Ask him what would make him feel appreciated. Give him some time to himself. Thank him when he does what you want instead of what he wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DTMFA.


He is not a match and sounds verrrryyyyy immature.

I am an extrovert too and while I can make it work with an introvert for a while, I also cannot sit next to someone in stone cold silence. It starts making me feel absolutely crazy, not to mention rejected and totally uncomfortable.

I cannot imagine dealing with this for life. Just imagine- this will be your reality day in day out, birthdays, holidays.

Time to move on and find an extroverted dude.

And then complain that he wants to talk about his day instead of hearing all about yours, or wants to go out with friends instead of rubbing your feet and treating you like a princess

Unfortunately, the ones I know seem to like monopolizing the conversation and need a lot of attention. (NP)

I dont know if you think extroverts like making speeches.... but actually we generally enjoy back and forth. Interaction. That's kind of our thing, actually. But +1 for the straw man attempt

[Anonymous]

OP, in a relationship as intimate as BF/DH, it's important to be emotionally compatible. It is important to be perfectly happy and comfortable in each others company in silence. If you both are emotionally compatible, then silence shouldn't put you off. Think about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

BF says he doesn't feel appreciation.

How can I show it to him in a way he appreciates?

By ungrudgingly giving him his personal time. "Wow, looks like you had a rough day at work. I was going to open this bottle of wine. Why don't you have a glass while you read your book? I'll be in the kitchen making dinner/cookies/organizing the fridge/calling my mom/whatever. We can talk about it later, if you want."

And by recognizing the ways that he does show affection, like sitting next to you while you work and rubbing your feet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I predict he's going to dump you soon.

Then you're going to spend your 20s and 30s cycling through guys who don't "treat you right."

Then you're going to get increasingly less interest until you desperately marry someone when you are like 39/40 and are running out of time to have a baby.

Then you'll regret losing this current BF because you were so immature and unrealistic about what being in a relationship means.

You sound bitter. Dumped by an extroverted girl, huh?

I think some people on this thread, including the OP are confused about the definition of "extrovert" vs "emotional leech"

I dont think so. Extroverts feel recharged and loved when they are engaging with and talking with others.

Nothing any worse about that than those who who get recharged from reading or silence

[Anonymous]

http://www.buzzfeed.com/jessicamisener/frustrating-things-about-being-an-extrovert#.uoNq5oGB8

[Anonymous]

Have you posted before about being controlling with your BF?
You sound a bit "high maintenance". Though some guys don't seem to mind that.

[Anonymous]

"Bf" and dating is about finding compatibility. Op, don't be afraid to embrace the simplest answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

BF says he doesn't feel appreciation.

How can I show it to him in a way he appreciates?

By ungrudgingly giving him his personal time. "Wow, looks like you had a rough day at work. I was going to open this bottle of wine. Why don't you have a glass while you read your book? I'll be in the kitchen making dinner/cookies/organizing the fridge/calling my mom/whatever. We can talk about it later, if you want."

And by recognizing the ways that he does show affection, like sitting next to you while you work and rubbing your feet.

Great answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

BF says he doesn't feel appreciation.

How can I show it to him in a way he appreciates?

By ungrudgingly giving him his personal time. "Wow, looks like you had a rough day at work. I was going to open this bottle of wine. Why don't you have a glass while you read your book? I'll be in the kitchen making dinner/cookies/organizing the fridge/calling my mom/whatever. We can talk about it later, if you want."

And by recognizing the ways that he does show affection, like sitting next to you while you work and rubbing your feet.

Great answer.

Why does she have to organize the fridge or make dinner while he sits on his ass?

Oh wait... you're preparing her to have the typical DCUM marriage, the one all the women on here have and detest. Where she does all the work and should be just grateful for a smile and nod from her partner.

Got it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

BF says he doesn't feel appreciation.

How can I show it to him in a way he appreciates?

By ungrudgingly giving him his personal time. "Wow, looks like you had a rough day at work. I was going to open this bottle of wine. Why don't you have a glass while you read your book? I'll be in the kitchen making dinner/cookies/organizing the fridge/calling my mom/whatever. We can talk about it later, if you want."

And by recognizing the ways that he does show affection, like sitting next to you while you work and rubbing your feet.

Great answer.

Why does she have to organize the fridge or make dinner while he sits on his ass?

Oh wait... you're preparing her to have the typical DCUM marriage, the one all the women on here have and detest. Where she does all the work and should be just grateful for a smile and nod from her partner.

Got it!

She doesn't. Hell, she can sit on her ass if she wants. She can paint her toes, call her friends, play whatever it is that she plays on her phone. The point is that she gives him his space and time to decompress and recharge.

[Anonymous]

Get a John Gray book. You're having a classic male/female fight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow - you went through all that because he wanted to keep reading his book? I want to tell your bf to run. If you love and appreciate him, listen to him and what he needs. He needs more quiet time and space to do his own thing too. If you need all the attention on you, all the time that you are available, this is probably not your guy.

+1