received an email that I shouldn't have received

[Anonymous]

OP here. Now I am annoyed. I didn't initiate anything and now I am labeled as "low in EQ". And this guy has no decency to apologize to the email I wrongly received.

[Anonymous]

I didn't realize that the use of EQ was so prevalent. Especially in Asia. Isn't it kind of new?

[Anonymous]

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201410/how-increase-your-emotional-intelligence-6-essentials

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Now I am annoyed. I didn't initiate anything and now I am labeled as "low in EQ". And this guy has no decency to apologize to the email I wrongly received.

I don't think you get it. You did not want to be inconvenienced with the Skype times. That's the emphasis here. The unintended email spells it out for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Now I am annoyed. I didn't initiate anything and now I am labeled as "low in EQ". And this guy has no decency to apologize to the email I wrongly received.

op, given that THEY were recruiting YOU, I think you have a point here. This isn't the standard job interview situation where you can be expected to bend over backwards to make things easier for them. If they want to entice you to work an Asia shift from the US, then the issue of your availability is not a side matter of rudeness, but central to the discussions.

the "everybody has it rough these days" poster also has a point, but that's just it. This person who mis-sent the email could just as easily be labeled "low in EQ" for making such a rookie mistake. By labeling OP the sender made the fundamental attribution error (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fundamental_attribution_error).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Now I am annoyed. I didn't initiate anything and now I am labeled as "low in EQ". And this guy has no decency to apologize to the email I wrongly received.

So you both have low EQ. Deal done. Reply to the email that you are no longer interested.

[Anonymous]

So reschedule the call for a better time. Talk to them, learn more and probably best to defer. It doesn't sound like this job is the right fit for you at this time in your life given that you have three children and limited flexibility. And, you are spending way too much time time ruminating this perceived slight. Put it to bed and move forward.

[Anonymous]

The person asked me to Skype him either early in the morning or late at night due to time difference. I couldn't do it because I have to take care of 3 kids and by the time the kids are in bed I am too tired to talk business. Morning crunch time is even worst for me. So I suggested Skype at 10am when I am in my office.

I am so confused. How late do your kids go to bed? Why are you so tired at that juncture that you can't briefly Skype about the job afterwards?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was approached for a position in Asia that I am a good fit and potentially interested. The person asked me to Skype him either early in the morning or late at night due to time difference. I couldn't do it because I have to take care of 3 kids and by the time the kids are in bed I am too tired to talk business. Morning crunch time is even worst for me. So I suggested Skype at 10am when I am in my office. That would be 10pm their time, which I think is not too bad. I frequently Skype with people in Asia at 10am our time.

Today I received an email from this potential colleague. This email forwarded my email to another person but the sender used "reply" and I received the email instead. In the email, this potential colleague described me as "low in EQ" because I suggested the 10am Skype and didn't think there is anything wrong with that. I felt terrible after reading the email. Should I respond to this email or just pretend I didn't receive it?

No, I don't agree that you are a good fit. If you were a good fit, then you would find ways to work with the people with whom you are communicating. They gave you a large window of time and did not specify the day, so you had ample time to pick and day and time that fit with the suggested options. Possible suggestions include putting the kids to bed, take an hour nap, get up to do the Skype session so that you are not "too tired to talk business" and then afterwards, turn in for the night. Another person suggested getting up a half hour or hour earlier than usual and just bite the bullet for this Skype session. It's only one day and if you can't find a compromise to get up 30-60 minutes earlier than your norm, you are just being uncooperative. If you are potentially interested, you would make more of an effort to compromise than to make them stay up and have to deal with you and work at 10pm (something which you are unwilling to do).

If you can't make the compromise then be polite about saying that your schedule does not really allow you flexibility to pursue this opportunity. You may not have wanted to burn bridges, but your response was a small step in that direction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Now I am annoyed. I didn't initiate anything and now I am labeled as "low in EQ". And this guy has no decency to apologize to the email I wrongly received.

Maybe he wanted you to see it OP.

[Anonymous]

OP here. The person the email was intended for is someone I know. May be I should just forward the email to this person and make fun of myself to defuse the tension. While I may be indeed low in EQ, I think the sender is more embarrassed then me at this point. I am quite highly regarded in my profession which explains why they pursued me half way around the globe.

[Anonymous]

If they are approaching you, the they are the ones who need to be accommodating. While you may be interested, this is not someone who would be good to work with ... particularly if their criticizing you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah OP I think you are not getting the position. If it were me I would have had a coffee late in the day and interviewed at night. The person who sent the email is sort of right.

He is not only right, he is very right. How are OP s priorities higher than his priorities, when OP needs a job?

[Anonymous]

I agree that you would have made yourself more available if you were interested. But I wouldn't want to work for someone who would so quickly label me like that. Forget about it, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah OP I think you are not getting the position. If it were me I would have had a coffee late in the day and interviewed at night. The person who sent the email is sort of right.

He is not only right, he is very right. How are OP s priorities higher than his priorities, when OP needs a job?

OP here. I do not need a job. I have a job right now. This guy approached me based on my reputation in the field and while I have heard of the institution before, I don't know him. I could be interested in the job because at one point DH and I were talking about relocating to Asia if there is good opportunity. My email to him always have been respectful and polite.