"Love my wife but she's getting fat" thread

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think if jeff is removing the thread discussing the local Ashley Madison cheaters to protect the men, then he should similarly remove a thread by a man complaining about his wife's weight 5 months after giving birth. The man should be on DCUB asking baby questions/advice not critiquing his wife's weight.

Exactly.

The difference in treatment is fairly startling.

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:I think if jeff is removing the thread discussing the local Ashley Madison cheaters to protect the men, then he should similarly remove a thread by a man complaining about his wife's weight 5 months after giving birth. The man should be on DCUB asking baby questions/advice not critiquing his wife's weight.

I didn't remove those threads to protect the men. I removed them to stop the harassment that I was receiving in the form of 100s of emails a day. Also, to avoid legal problems. The Fairfax Underground guy has apparently been forced to move his servers multiple times far various reasons. I don't need those headaches.

Why can't a guy complain about his wife's weight 5 months after giving birth? He was given some reasonably good advice. People vent here about a lot of topics. I've always felt that venting is good. Venting here is a lot better than most of the alternatives.

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if jeff is removing the thread discussing the local Ashley Madison cheaters to protect the men, then he should similarly remove a thread by a man complaining about his wife's weight 5 months after giving birth. The man should be on DCUB asking baby questions/advice not critiquing his wife's weight.

I didn't remove those threads to protect the men. I removed them to stop the harassment that I was receiving in the form of 100s of emails a day. Also, to avoid legal problems. The Fairfax Underground guy has apparently been forced to move his servers multiple times far various reasons. I don't need those headaches.

Why can't a guy complain about his wife's weight 5 months after giving birth? He was given some reasonably good advice. People vent here about a lot of topics. I've always felt that venting is good. Venting here is a lot better than most of the alternatives.

The problem is when his post is not "I need advice on how I can cope with these feelings" to "My wife is gross".

Given the fact that you yourself struggle with your weight, and given the fact that women in our culture face much more body scrutiny, I would think you would be able to muster up some compassion for the women who have to read that nasty thread.

[Anonymous]

Men who complain about their wife's weight 5 mo after giving birth are idiotic and should be "redirected" by the DCUM community (nicely, not so nicely, whatever). That said, their idiocy is no more pronounced than that of *SO MANY* other posters with inane complaints. If these posters or other posters are being offensive, misogynist, etc they ought to be flagged and removed, but seeing other people's reactions to stupid thoughts/feelings can sometimes be helpful. Isn't that what this is all about?

[Anonymous]

Also interesting that you said you were going to check my report history and then you have been quiet as a churchmouse about that.

I'm guessing it's because you saw that I have indeed reported posts for misogyny, and I know you didn't take any of them down.

Maybe stop being so defensive and take this as a moment for learning? Hearing that many women (your main demo) are unhappy with how you have handled misogyny?

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if jeff is removing the thread discussing the local Ashley Madison cheaters to protect the men, then he should similarly remove a thread by a man complaining about his wife's weight 5 months after giving birth. The man should be on DCUB asking baby questions/advice not critiquing his wife's weight.

I didn't remove those threads to protect the men. I removed them to stop the harassment that I was receiving in the form of 100s of emails a day. Also, to avoid legal problems. The Fairfax Underground guy has apparently been forced to move his servers multiple times far various reasons. I don't need those headaches.

Why can't a guy complain about his wife's weight 5 months after giving birth? He was given some reasonably good advice. People vent here about a lot of topics. I've always felt that venting is good. Venting here is a lot better than most of the alternatives.

I agree and I'm a new mom who struggled with weight gain after weaning DS. I'd rather a guy come to this forum to vent his frustrations and feelings and receive good advice (If he can stomach the other stuff) than quietly sit at home and resent his wife. I also think some of the People who use the term MRA whenever a poster isn't PRo-women are a bit melodramatic. There are actually MRAs and then there are people whose views you don't like who just happen to be men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if jeff is removing the thread discussing the local Ashley Madison cheaters to protect the men, then he should similarly remove a thread by a man complaining about his wife's weight 5 months after giving birth. The man should be on DCUB asking baby questions/advice not critiquing his wife's weight.

I didn't remove those threads to protect the men. I removed them to stop the harassment that I was receiving in the form of 100s of emails a day. Also, to avoid legal problems. The Fairfax Underground guy has apparently been forced to move his servers multiple times far various reasons. I don't need those headaches.

Why can't a guy complain about his wife's weight 5 months after giving birth? He was given some reasonably good advice. People vent here about a lot of topics. I've always felt that venting is good. Venting here is a lot better than most of the alternatives.

The problem is when his post is not "I need advice on how I can cope with these feelings" to "My wife is gross".

Given the fact that you yourself struggle with your weight, and given the fact that women in our culture face much more body scrutiny, I would think you would be able to muster up some compassion for the women who have to read that nasty thread.

Damn, Jeff! When did you start going into people's houses and forcing them to read things?!?! Wouldn't it be better to force them to click on the ads?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also interesting that you said you were going to check my report history and then you have been quiet as a churchmouse about that.

I'm guessing it's because you saw that I have indeed reported posts for misogyny, and I know you didn't take any of them down.

Maybe stop being so defensive and take this as a moment for learning? Hearing that many women (your main demo) are unhappy with how you have handled misogyny?

Female here. You're obnoxious.

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:Now that I think of it, i have reported a few posts for misogyny. I stopped a few weeks ago because none of them ever got taken down.

Here is the verdict. You reported the following:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/30/490647.page#7380298 -- this specific post no longer exists.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/45/493008.page#7433582 -- this one is still there. That entire thread is pretty ridiculous in my opinion, but not just for misogyny. I think I read this one differently the first time than I did now.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/45/491201.page#7433752 -- this specific post no longer exists.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/495481.page#7485506 -- this specific post no longer exists.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/150/496201.page#7504266 -- this entire thread was deleted.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/496408.page#7506435 -- this specific post no longer exists.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/60/498948.page#7564046 -- this specific post no longer exists.

So, you reported 7 posts and I deleted 6. I'd suggest that you don't have a lot of room for complaint.

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:Also interesting that you said you were going to check my report history and then you have been quiet as a churchmouse about that.

I'm guessing it's because you saw that I have indeed reported posts for misogyny, and I know you didn't take any of them down.

Maybe stop being so defensive and take this as a moment for learning? Hearing that many women (your main demo) are unhappy with how you have handled misogyny?

No, maybe it takes time to search 9 months of logs (that's what I did) and then to check to see if the posts were removed or not. I think the results of my search suggest that you should stop complaining and start appreciating what I do on your behalf.

[Anonymous]

Hmmm maybe you deleted more than I realized.

I really don't see how you could read "obese pig" as not offensive, but w/e...

I guess I will be more proactive about it now. But there are some really aggressive misogynists on this board and it's gross to see in an era when women's rights have come to the forefront of public discussion.

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also interesting that you said you were going to check my report history and then you have been quiet as a churchmouse about that.

I'm guessing it's because you saw that I have indeed reported posts for misogyny, and I know you didn't take any of them down.

Maybe stop being so defensive and take this as a moment for learning? Hearing that many women (your main demo) are unhappy with how you have handled misogyny?

No, maybe it takes time to search 9 months of logs (that's what I did) and then to check to see if the posts were removed or not. I think the results of my search suggest that you should stop complaining and start appreciating what I do on your behalf.

And I do appreciate that you have deleted most of the posts.

[Anonymous]

Data to the rescue, everyone was civil once facts were in hand... a good night on DCUM!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if jeff is removing the thread discussing the local Ashley Madison cheaters to protect the men, then he should similarly remove a thread by a man complaining about his wife's weight 5 months after giving birth. The man should be on DCUB asking baby questions/advice not critiquing his wife's weight.

I didn't remove those threads to protect the men. I removed them to stop the harassment that I was receiving in the form of 100s of emails a day. Also, to avoid legal problems. The Fairfax Underground guy has apparently been forced to move his servers multiple times far various reasons. I don't need those headaches.

Why can't a guy complain about his wife's weight 5 months after giving birth? He was given some reasonably good advice. People vent here about a lot of topics. I've always felt that venting is good. Venting here is a lot better than most of the alternatives.

I agree and I'm a new mom who struggled with weight gain after weaning DS. I'd rather a guy come to this forum to vent his frustrations and feelings and receive good advice (If he can stomach the other stuff) than quietly sit at home and resent his wife. I also think some of the People who use the term MRA whenever a poster isn't PRo-women are a bit melodramatic. There are actually MRAs and then there are people whose views you don't like who just happen to be men.

Don't add logic to this thread!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm maybe you deleted more than I realized.

I really don't see how you could read "obese pig" as not offensive, but w/e...

I guess I will be more proactive about it now. But there are some really aggressive misogynists on this board and it's gross to see in an era when women's rights have come to the forefront of public discussion.

"More proactive" than 7 complaints? Wow, Jeff, lots to look forward to.