If your child trashes my playroom...

[Anonymous]

I don't get it, OP. If your problem is that the kid made a mess, then having him clean it up would solve your entire problem so why are you martyring yourself and being judgmental about this family? Just let him clean it up and move on with your life. If you end your child's friendships because of shit like this, it's going to be a lonely road for your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And I say "oh, no...don't worry about it" when you tell him to clean it up before you go it's not because I'm being polite. It's because I want your child out of my home as quickly as possible. And no, you don't get to "teach him" to clean up messes he makes this way. Teach him to not trash other peoples playrooms in the first place.

So instead of telling the child and the mother this, where it might have had some effect, you post about it on DCUM? Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get it, OP. If your problem is that the kid made a mess, then having him clean it up would solve your entire problem so why are you martyring yourself and being judgmental about this family? Just let him clean it up and move on with your life. If you end your child's friendships because of shit like this, it's going to be a lonely road for your kid.

Good advice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get it, OP. If your problem is that the kid made a mess, then having him clean it up would solve your entire problem so why are you martyring yourself and being judgmental about this family? Just let him clean it up and move on with your life. If you end your child's friendships because of shit like this, it's going to be a lonely road for your kid.

Yes, you have to say to kids clearly that they have to clean the mess they have created. I did it couple times, and now my kid knows better to warn some of the friends in advance. It is hypocritical to say not to worry about it and then complain about it. It is your house, you make the rules and you enforce the rules. If you failed to do it, don't complaint.

Signed -- mom who hates kids who create mess.

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds like you may be more comfortable having playdates outside yourself. It irritates me when kids come over and make a mess like that, but we just encourage/model cleaning up, and then move on. No one gets banned from our house for it unless they actually cause damage.

[Anonymous]

Christ OP. Good luck with your incredibly difficult life.

[Anonymous]

Why didn't your child report his misbehavior if it affected him so much? Worry about your own problems first!

[Anonymous]

I'll bet it wasn't trashed. Perhaps a little messy. Is OP OCD about neatness and order?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find your dynamic very, very odd.

You throw a fit because toys are on the floor of the playroom.

You'd rather play the martyr than have the offender take responsibility, own his offense, and clean it up.

Your own child is in tears because he knows what is coming from you -- very, very telling.

You sound like a nightmare, OP. Playrooms get dirty. Toys get taken out. It's not "trashing the playroom." It's having a good time. Set a time limit on fun next time. And get an idea about why you would rather be passive aggressive than actually get what you want -- the kids cleaning up. Your martyr act is way, way, old. Like 1960's old.

NP here. This response says more about your biases than the OP. And also indicates you don't read carefully. OP's child could very well be upset with the other child for making the mess, not out of fear of mom. And if it were that messy, I wouldn't trust the other kid to clean it. I'd just want them out. No martyrs here.

The odd dynamic is yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Define "trashed." You don't get to have a hissy fit without defining it.

The fact is, I have a playroom and, with the 8-9 year old set, my playroom is quite a mess when they leave. Group mentality or just excitement of all being together. They know better in their own homes. I'm quite able to cope without getting my panties in a twist.

I think OP needs to chill.

But you, of course, "get to" tell other people when they can and cannot have a "hissy fit." Sounds to me like someone has a poorly behaved older kid who trashes things.

You're not helping your case, OP. You sound unstable.

I'm an NP and OP doesn't sound unstable. I had the same reaction to the original quoted post. Sounds like the irresponsible parent of a wild child trying to convince herself its okay.

Now you, on the other hand, whipping out the sad, tired insult of "you sound unstable" just sound like a run-of-the-mill internet troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has playroom?

NP--that's what we call the room in our basement (in our DC rowhouse). What's the issue?

As the mother of a 9 year old, that's totally unacceptable. No 9 year old should be trashing someone's space let alone their own.

Precisely.

OP, we've had a few of those visitors. They weren't invited back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And I say "oh, no...don't worry about it" when you tell him to clean it up before you go it's not because I'm being polite. It's because I want your child out of my home as quickly as possible. And no, you don't get to "teach him" to clean up messes he makes this way. Teach him to not trash other peoples playrooms in the first place.

So instead of telling the child and the mother this, where it might have had some effect, you post about it on DCUM? Why?

Really? You don't get that people come on here to vent? You don't get that lecturing the mom at that moment probably would be a waste of time and kinda weird? If the mom of the messy kid has any social ability whatsoever, she would apologize when the mess was discovered, offer to help clean up, defer politely if the OP says no, leave, and then write an apology later. Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

It's unacceptable to trash the playroom, but it sounds like neither mother was checking on the kids. So when she found out she offered to help clean, but you told her to go away. Now that family is the only one in the wrong? I don't think so. Life happens and you deal with what comes up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And I say "oh, no...don't worry about it" when you tell him to clean it up before you go it's not because I'm being polite. It's because I want your child out of my home as quickly as possible. And no, you don't get to "teach him" to clean up messes he makes this way. Teach him to not trash other peoples playrooms in the first place.

So instead of telling the child and the mother this, where it might have had some effect, you post about it on DCUM? Why?

Really? You don't get that people come on here to vent? You don't get that lecturing the mom at that moment probably would be a waste of time and kinda weird? If the mom of the messy kid has any social ability whatsoever, she would apologize when the mess was discovered, offer to help clean up, defer politely if the OP says no, leave, and then write an apology later. Sheesh.

So, what happened, according to the OP? The mother apologized, offered to help clean up, deferred politely, and left. (OP didn't say anything about an apology, but the other mother might not have even had a chance to write one yet.)

Venting is fine, but it doesn't replace actual communication with the actual people you're having actual problems with.

[Anonymous]

My kids playroom is a room for play.
My kids are responsible for their guests. If they make a mess either get your friends to help you clean it up or your doing it all alone.
I love the sound of ruckus in the rumpus room. I'll miss it when they are grown.