Spinster here. Should I leave DC for better options?

[Anonymous]

If I was in your shoes, I would definitely move. Not necessarily to date more, but because you need to get your finances in better shape. You need to be planning for college funds and retirement at this point and your current situation is not really conducive to that. Pick a place that will allow you more opportunity to date, if that's possible. If your child is really young, being close to family would be ideal (built in babysitters).

I am 50 with one child in the DC area, too. I have found lot of great men to date, but I haven't found anyone recently that I would want to marry. My priorities are different than yours, though, as I don't want any more kids and am not particularly interested in finding a husband either.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you don't need to actually move. Maybe you need to focus your online dating on zip codes at least 30 miles away from DC. Baltimore for example is a place close enough to DC but full of normal people who want balance in their lives and more than just a career. Then if you get serious with someone it's just a little change, not a drastic one.

[Anonymous]

Which is more important - having more kids or getting married? The kids thing seems like quite a pipe dream unless you mean step kids or are planning to adopt through foster care.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, I'm stuck on you wanting more kids. YOU ARE FIFTY. How do you propose to have more? Biologically, it ain't happening, even if you got married tomorrow and started trying ASAP. Nobody will approve you for an adoption because you are old. I just fail to see how this is factoring into your equation... The ship has sailed on more kids. Marriage isn't out of the realm of possibility but having more kids is.

[Anonymous]

OP said she adopted her child. She is not too old to adopt another, perhaps from foster care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: OP said she adopted her child. She is not too old to adopt another, perhaps from foster care.

She adopted her child that was in her family. That's totally different than going through an agency and being approved for adoption and then selected by a birth mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: OP said she adopted her child. She is not too old to adopt another, perhaps from foster care.

She adopted her child that was in her family. That's totally different than going through an agency and being approved for adoption and then selected by a birth mother.

Yes, but if she is open to a non-white, non-infant from foster care, there may be options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: OP said she adopted her child. She is not too old to adopt another, perhaps from foster care.

She adopted her child that was in her family. That's totally different than going through an agency and being approved for adoption and then selected by a birth mother.

Yes, but if she is open to a non-white, non-infant from foster care, there may be options.

But she would have to find a partner who wants the same thing. I would move to another city, adopt there, where it's more affordable, and date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I was in your shoes, I would definitely move. Not necessarily to date more, but because you need to get your finances in better shape. You need to be planning for college funds and retirement at this point and your current situation is not really conducive to that. Pick a place that will allow you more opportunity to date, if that's possible. If your child is really young, being close to family would be ideal (built in babysitters).

I am 50 with one child in the DC area, too. I have found lot of great men to date, but I haven't found anyone recently that I would want to marry. My priorities are different than yours, though, as I don't want any more kids and am not particularly interested in finding a husband either.

I agree. I am 47 with two children. I would like to date but not sure I care to get married. (I guess if I met the right one). How do you find men to date PP? Online? I feel like I get out so infrequently that its online or nothing...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you don't need to actually move. Maybe you need to focus your online dating on zip codes at least 30 miles away from DC. Baltimore for example is a place close enough to DC but full of normal people who want balance in their lives and more than just a career. Then if you get serious with someone it's just a little change, not a drastic one.

Baltimore is not a bad idea. Cool city and cheaper.

[Anonymous]

DC can work for you. Just join 3 or 4 churches, and look for the one with the most singles activities. It's a busy Sunday, but can really pay off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, I'm stuck on you wanting more kids. YOU ARE FIFTY. How do you propose to have more? Biologically, it ain't happening, even if you got married tomorrow and started trying ASAP. Nobody will approve you for an adoption because you are old. I just fail to see how this is factoring into your equation... The ship has sailed on more kids. Marriage isn't out of the realm of possibility but having more kids is.

Untrue. OP can adopt a newborn. Age limits depend on the adoption agency and each is different. Not that I'm suggesting that's a great idea! Or OP can adopt an older child which I think would be a more reasonable choice.

[Anonymous]

I don't really think an overseas assignment is going to be that great unless you are looking for a local husband over there. Many expats "go local" and single women, in some countries, report a dearth of dating opportunities amongst the expat population. Most of them are either very young NGO, backpackers, ESL teachers or married, two kids (young) getting an "overseas notch" on their corporate belt. The expat dating pool overseas isn't really that great.

But if you are looking for a local guy in Germany or England or Russia or whatever, there are far more options.

[Anonymous]

First, try overseas for a once-in-lifetime experience.

Second, with regard to dating at 50 with no time or money: make time. If a 50-year-old woman tells me she doesn't have time, it means she isn't interested, or isn't interested enough to make time in her schedule. And nothing gets accomplished. When I first met my wife many years ago, she got off work at 11pm, and I had to be at work in the am. But because time with her was a priority for me, I met her at 11 at night as often as possible and did without as much sleep.

[Anonymous]

Straight OP here. #rolls eyes
I'm not gay. My child is 6 so adopting a newborn isn't out of the realm of possibility and they won't be too far apart in age if I attempt it next year. Biological isn't really something I'm considering at this time.

I know expat men prefer young local women but I'm considering Africa not Asia. I'm hopeful that this might be different. PP mentioned the East African secret. Anyone else know about this??

Finances really are the issue though. I need to make more. All I have is my house, but to be honest moving to a US city where I know no one seems daunting and stressful. At least overseas it's easier to connect with people..