Splitting custody 12 hours a day to each parent?!?!?!?

[Anonymous]

And now they have a kid together and need to find a way to get along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Mom can pump. Chikd should be with bit parents. Maybe it is around work schedules.

Have you ever had a newborn? They need stability, not to be shuttled around every day like objects.

Kids need two parents. Plenty of kids get shuffled to family members or other child care options. This is no different. I am assuming you are mom.

No I am not mom. But dad has proven to be useless when it comes to caring for the child so far, has been totally hands off, tries to engage a newborn in inappropriate ways at inappropriate times, has no idea how often to feed, how to swaddle, etc. He can change a diaper. That is about it. How is going to work 8 hours a day and take care of an infant who is up every two hours all night? Mom is on maternity leave; she is the best place for a newborn. This is usually the case, no?

The mom has made her bed, it is a lumpy bed but it is the bed she made.

You can't date a loser, get pregnant, live in his house then all of a sudden go to court and expect the judge to save your sorry ass. All of a sudden he sucks?... But he was a good enough partner before, so much so you moved in with him and had his baby.

The courts are not there to fix your big fat messes.

OP here. I know, and I agree. Again, I am not mom in this situation. I just don't understand how this arrangement is in the best interests of the child. A NEWBORN. Of FOUR weeks. I can see a week with mom/weekends with dad arrangement (so he can spend decent time with baby when he has him), that maybe changes once the child is old enough to go to daycare. But at this stage, this seems like an awful arrangement for a tiny baby.

It sounds like the issue is that he's a crappy dad. Which is a huge problem. However, the reality in our country is that 4 week olds do go to daycare. If you had 2 competent parents, then splitting the day, so that he gets to be with mom every day, breastfeed so mom keeps up her supply, and sleep in the same place every night, seems like a better choice than week days/weekends. The reality is that when the baby is older he's going to want a relationship with both parents, building it early makes sense.

No they don't. Most daycare centers will not accept a baby younger than 8 weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And now they have a kid together and need to find a way to get along.

OP here. Couldn't agree more. He apparently dragged out every intimate detail she'd ever shared with him to paint her as unstable. Had the military conduct a half-assed investigation painting his as a victim of emotional abuse. Big tough military guy. What a joke. I've told her to try mediation but I doubt he will agree.

And people, just because tiny babies go to daycare doesn't mean that the most emotionally or physically healthy thing for either the ban or the parents. Doesn't the court have a responsibility to do what is best for the child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom can pump. Chikd should be with bit parents. Maybe it is around work schedules.

Have you ever had a newborn? They need stability, not to be shuttled around every day like objects.

Kids need two parents. Plenty of kids get shuffled to family members or other child care options. This is no different. I am assuming you are mom.

No I am not mom. But dad has proven to be useless when it comes to caring for the child so far, has been totally hands off, tries to engage a newborn in inappropriate ways at inappropriate times, has no idea how often to feed, how to swaddle, etc. He can change a diaper. That is about it. How is going to work 8 hours a day and take care of an infant who is up every two hours all night? Mom is on maternity leave; she is the best place for a newborn. This is usually the case, no?

The mom has made her bed, it is a lumpy bed but it is the bed she made.

You can't date a loser, get pregnant, live in his house then all of a sudden go to court and expect the judge to save your sorry ass. All of a sudden he sucks?... But he was a good enough partner before, so much so you moved in with him and had his baby.

The courts are not there to fix your big fat messes.

OP here. I know, and I agree. Again, I am not mom in this situation. I just don't understand how this arrangement is in the best interests of the child. A NEWBORN. Of FOUR weeks. I can see a week with mom/weekends with dad arrangement (so he can spend decent time with baby when he has him), that maybe changes once the child is old enough to go to daycare. But at this stage, this seems like an awful arrangement for a tiny baby.

It sounds like the issue is that he's a crappy dad. Which is a huge problem. However, the reality in our country is that 4 week olds do go to daycare. If you had 2 competent parents, then splitting the day, so that he gets to be with mom every day, breastfeed so mom keeps up her supply, and sleep in the same place every night, seems like a better choice than week days/weekends. The reality is that when the baby is older he's going to want a relationship with both parents, building it early makes sense.

No they don't. Most daycare centers will not accept a baby younger than 8 weeks.

First two daycares I pulled up, both major chains that serve many kids in many locations.

Kindercare -- takes kids at 6 weeks

Minnieland -- takes kids at 3 weeks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom can pump. Chikd should be with bit parents. Maybe it is around work schedules.

Have you ever had a newborn? They need stability, not to be shuttled around every day like objects.

Kids need two parents. Plenty of kids get shuffled to family members or other child care options. This is no different. I am assuming you are mom.

Oh horses hit, kids need two parents. Give me a break.

Shuffling babies is disgusting and so are you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the Texas custody law for a newborn baby?
I live in Texas and my husband has thrown me (5 months pregnant) and our 20 month old adopted son out and filed for divorce. He is very arrogant due to being a federal law inforcement officer. He's always throwing around that the judge will side with him because of his career. It worries me terribly. We currently have a standard custody agreement in place for our son (1st, 3rd, 5th weekends). The divorce will not finalize until after the baby is born. What kind of custody agreement can I expect for a newborn. FYI- I do plan on breastfeeding. My husband has stated that he will get visitation alone with the newborn. I don't really know because he is always distorting the truth. I have asked my lawyer and they have been very vague in there answer and told me not to worry about it yet.

Beaumont, TX - 3 years ago

How can your husband throw you out? He can't. You are an idiot for leaving the marital home. He will probably get the same visitation with the newborn as he does with his older son. Plan on pumping or the kid getting formula when with dad. If dad wants more visitation rather than every other weekend then he will probably get it.

[Anonymous]

Lesson learned, OP. Don't have next baby unless married to father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And now they have a kid together and need to find a way to get along.

OP here. Couldn't agree more. He apparently dragged out every intimate detail she'd ever shared with him to paint her as unstable. Had the military conduct a half-assed investigation painting his as a victim of emotional abuse. Big tough military guy. What a joke. I've told her to try mediation but I doubt he will agree.

And people, just because tiny babies go to daycare doesn't mean that the most emotionally or physically healthy thing for either the ban or the parents. Doesn't the court have a responsibility to do what is best for the child?

They are.. They are giving equal time to each parent. Isn't it better that baby to be with family than with strangers in day care (I have no issue with day care except why would day care be ok assuming mom works and it not ok to be with dad).

[Anonymous]

OP -- there is a wingnut fathers' rights person who posts first on every thread stating that all fathers get 50% of custody automatically and that anyone who suggests otherwise is wrong and immoral. That is not the law.

Have your friend look into womens' crisis centers immediately. She may be very at risk for PPD, not being able to BF, etc., and they may be able to provide immediate legal help. no newborn needs to be uprooted every 12 hours, obviously. They are not even supposed to be out and about often at ALL during flu and cold season let alone shuttled about the clock. Any court is going to put into place a reasonable schedule taking into account the BABY's immediate needs, not the father's so-called "right" to 50% custody. And most courts understand and support the BFing relationship and importance for newborns and will work around it. Mom can pump my a%$. Spoken like a clueless, agenda driven man. Its not about your campaign, fool. It is about the baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP -- there is a wingnut fathers' rights person who posts first on every thread stating that all fathers get 50% of custody automatically and that anyone who suggests otherwise is wrong and immoral. That is not the law.

Have your friend look into womens' crisis centers immediately. She may be very at risk for PPD, not being able to BF, etc., and they may be able to provide immediate legal help. no newborn needs to be uprooted every 12 hours, obviously. They are not even supposed to be out and about often at ALL during flu and cold season let alone shuttled about the clock. Any court is going to put into place a reasonable schedule taking into account the BABY's immediate needs, not the father's so-called "right" to 50% custody. And most courts understand and support the BFing relationship and importance for newborns and will work around it. Mom can pump my a%$. Spoken like a clueless, agenda driven man. Its not about your campaign, fool. It is about the baby.

You do realize many go to day care twelve hours a day. That is ok but being with a parent is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP -- there is a wingnut fathers' rights person who posts first on every thread stating that all fathers get 50% of custody automatically and that anyone who suggests otherwise is wrong and immoral. That is not the law.

Have your friend look into womens' crisis centers immediately. She may be very at risk for PPD, not being able to BF, etc., and they may be able to provide immediate legal help. no newborn needs to be uprooted every 12 hours, obviously. They are not even supposed to be out and about often at ALL during flu and cold season let alone shuttled about the clock. Any court is going to put into place a reasonable schedule taking into account the BABY's immediate needs, not the father's so-called "right" to 50% custody. And most courts understand and support the BFing relationship and importance for newborns and will work around it. Mom can pump my a%$. Spoken like a clueless, agenda driven man. Its not about your campaign, fool. It is about the baby.

Another breastfeeding crazy person. Neon can breastfeed on her time and pump or dad can use formula. bF is an excuse to deny a parent a relationship with their child.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you even know the ex? Or is your whole understanding of the situation just what your friend tells you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom can pump. Chikd should be with bit parents. Maybe it is around work schedules.

Have you ever had a newborn? They need stability, not to be shuttled around every day like objects.

Kids need two parents. Plenty of kids get shuffled to family members or other child care options. This is no different. I am assuming you are mom.

No I am not mom. But dad has proven to be useless when it comes to caring for the child so far, has been totally hands off, tries to engage a newborn in inappropriate ways at inappropriate times, has no idea how often to feed, how to swaddle, etc. He can change a diaper. That is about it. How is going to work 8 hours a day and take care of an infant who is up every two hours all night? Mom is on maternity leave; she is the best place for a newborn. This is usually the case, no?

The mom has made her bed, it is a lumpy bed but it is the bed she made.

You can't date a loser, get pregnant, live in his house then all of a sudden go to court and expect the judge to save your sorry ass. All of a sudden he sucks?... But he was a good enough partner before, so much so you moved in with him and had his baby.

The courts are not there to fix your big fat messes.

OP here. I know, and I agree. Again, I am not mom in this situation. I just don't understand how this arrangement is in the best interests of the child. A NEWBORN. Of FOUR weeks. I can see a week with mom/weekends with dad arrangement (so he can spend decent time with baby when he has him), that maybe changes once the child is old enough to go to daycare. But at this stage, this seems like an awful arrangement for a tiny baby.

It sounds like the issue is that he's a crappy dad. Which is a huge problem. However, the reality in our country is that 4 week olds do go to daycare. If you had 2 competent parents, then splitting the day, so that he gets to be with mom every day, breastfeed so mom keeps up her supply, and sleep in the same place every night, seems like a better choice than week days/weekends. The reality is that when the baby is older he's going to want a relationship with both parents, building it early makes sense.

No they don't. Most daycare centers will not accept a baby younger than 8 weeks.

First two daycares I pulled up, both major chains that serve many kids in many locations.

Kindercare -- takes kids at 6 weeks

Minnieland -- takes kids at 3 weeks

Ok we are NOT using sex. Abuse central Minnieland as the standard. Yes most centers require several months of age

[Anonymous]

This is so sad for that baby. Why not just cut her in half

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom can pump. Chikd should be with bit parents. Maybe it is around work schedules.

Have you ever had a newborn? They need stability, not to be shuttled around every day like objects.

Kids need two parents. Plenty of kids get shuffled to family members or other child care options. This is no different. I am assuming you are mom.

Oh horses hit, kids need two parents. Give me a break.

Shuffling babies is disgusting and so are you.

Did you give yours up for their own good?