Splitting custody 12 hours a day to each parent?!?!?!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How are you getting this information? I'm surprised they got a ruling at all in less than four weeks. If it's for real, mom needs to talk to her attorney about her options, because that's really not in the baby's best interest.

I know the parents; let's leave it at that. I pushed mom to try mediation; her attorney advised against it saying it "was too late." They are both angry at each other. Seems to me like a trained mediator could help them both focus on the what's best for the baby in coming up with an agreement. Right?

[Anonymous]

I think there is a heck of a lot more to this story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is likely the result of a pendente lite hearing, not a final court order.

I'm sure you're right, but even the timeline of him throwing her out, her filing for (and receiving a protective order), him filing for custody and them getting a preliminary hearing in four weeks is awfully fast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is likely the result of a pendente lite hearing, not a final court order.

Translation of pendente lite hearing, please?

Temporary order. The order that stands until there's a settlement or trial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom can pump. Chikd should be with bit parents. Maybe it is around work schedules.

Have you ever had a newborn? They need stability, not to be shuttled around every day like objects.

Kids need two parents. Plenty of kids get shuffled to family members or other child care options. This is no different. I am assuming you are mom.

No I am not mom. But dad has proven to be useless when it comes to caring for the child so far, has been totally hands off, tries to engage a newborn in inappropriate ways at inappropriate times, has no idea how often to feed, how to swaddle, etc. He can change a diaper. That is about it. How is going to work 8 hours a day and take care of an infant who is up every two hours all night? Mom is on maternity leave; she is the best place for a newborn. This is usually the case, no?

He will learn as we all did. Many people are clueless and learn real quick. A child needs both parents. Assuming mom is on maternity leave, child will need a caregiver when she works.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, but I just think it is cruel to separate a newborn baby from its mother unless she is a crack whore. Dad's first response to the pregnancy was to get an abortion or make an adoption plan. He didn't even want the baby until he could use it as pawn.

[Anonymous]

Well Texas has been known to do dumber shit I guess. However I call troll. Please can we get back to OP who hates the Ex... Also in texas

[Anonymous]

Mediation only works if you have two reasonable people willing to compromise. I think it is a huge waste of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a heck of a lot more to this story.

Of course there is.

[Anonymous]

What is the Texas custody law for a newborn baby?
I live in Texas and my husband has thrown me (5 months pregnant) and our 20 month old adopted son out and filed for divorce. He is very arrogant due to being a federal law inforcement officer. He's always throwing around that the judge will side with him because of his career. It worries me terribly. We currently have a standard custody agreement in place for our son (1st, 3rd, 5th weekends). The divorce will not finalize until after the baby is born. What kind of custody agreement can I expect for a newborn. FYI- I do plan on breastfeeding. My husband has stated that he will get visitation alone with the newborn. I don't really know because he is always distorting the truth. I have asked my lawyer and they have been very vague in there answer and told me not to worry about it yet.

Beaumont, TX - 3 years ago

[Anonymous]

From experience, Texas gives very few rights or protections to women. So many women SAH and then in breakups and custody situations they are cited for not being able to care for the child because they have no job skills and cannot get work that pays more than childcare for their child/children while they work. Also women get very little (relatively) in alimony and child support payments if they keep custody of the children. It's a very pro-men's state.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From experience, Texas gives very few rights or protections to women. So many women SAH and then in breakups and custody situations they are cited for not being able to care for the child because they have no job skills and cannot get work that pays more than childcare for their child/children while they work. Also women get very little (relatively) in alimony and child support payments if they keep custody of the children. It's a very pro-men's state.

It's not just true in Texas it is true everywhere. Able bodied adults do not need alimony, they need jobs. People who do not plan to support themselves as adults are fools.

I know 4 women who have lost custody of their children because they go divorced and they could not afford to create a stable environment. They sat on their asses during the 3 years of alimony instead of getting skills to work. Pathetic!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom can pump. Chikd should be with bit parents. Maybe it is around work schedules.

Have you ever had a newborn? They need stability, not to be shuttled around every day like objects.

Kids need two parents. Plenty of kids get shuffled to family members or other child care options. This is no different. I am assuming you are mom.

No I am not mom. But dad has proven to be useless when it comes to caring for the child so far, has been totally hands off, tries to engage a newborn in inappropriate ways at inappropriate times, has no idea how often to feed, how to swaddle, etc. He can change a diaper. That is about it. How is going to work 8 hours a day and take care of an infant who is up every two hours all night? Mom is on maternity leave; she is the best place for a newborn. This is usually the case, no?

The mom has made her bed, it is a lumpy bed but it is the bed she made.

You can't date a loser, get pregnant, live in his house then all of a sudden go to court and expect the judge to save your sorry ass. All of a sudden he sucks?... But he was a good enough partner before, so much so you moved in with him and had his baby.

The courts are not there to fix your big fat messes.

OP here. I know, and I agree. Again, I am not mom in this situation. I just don't understand how this arrangement is in the best interests of the child. A NEWBORN. Of FOUR weeks. I can see a week with mom/weekends with dad arrangement (so he can spend decent time with baby when he has him), that maybe changes once the child is old enough to go to daycare. But at this stage, this seems like an awful arrangement for a tiny baby.

It seems like a pretty good way to deal with a bad situation. Dad works 9-5, gets home, eats and get the child at 8pm. Gives child a bath and a bottle, bed, bottle, bed, bottle, then delivers baby to mom at 8am and gets to work. Mom gets some sleep if she is not out partying and is ready to care for the child all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom can pump. Chikd should be with bit parents. Maybe it is around work schedules.

Have you ever had a newborn? They need stability, not to be shuttled around every day like objects.

Kids need two parents. Plenty of kids get shuffled to family members or other child care options. This is no different. I am assuming you are mom.

No I am not mom. But dad has proven to be useless when it comes to caring for the child so far, has been totally hands off, tries to engage a newborn in inappropriate ways at inappropriate times, has no idea how often to feed, how to swaddle, etc. He can change a diaper. That is about it. How is going to work 8 hours a day and take care of an infant who is up every two hours all night? Mom is on maternity leave; she is the best place for a newborn. This is usually the case, no?

The mom has made her bed, it is a lumpy bed but it is the bed she made.

You can't date a loser, get pregnant, live in his house then all of a sudden go to court and expect the judge to save your sorry ass. All of a sudden he sucks?... But he was a good enough partner before, so much so you moved in with him and had his baby.

The courts are not there to fix your big fat messes.

OP here. I know, and I agree. Again, I am not mom in this situation. I just don't understand how this arrangement is in the best interests of the child. A NEWBORN. Of FOUR weeks. I can see a week with mom/weekends with dad arrangement (so he can spend decent time with baby when he has him), that maybe changes once the child is old enough to go to daycare. But at this stage, this seems like an awful arrangement for a tiny baby.

It sounds like the issue is that he's a crappy dad. Which is a huge problem. However, the reality in our country is that 4 week olds do go to daycare. If you had 2 competent parents, then splitting the day, so that he gets to be with mom every day, breastfeed so mom keeps up her supply, and sleep in the same place every night, seems like a better choice than week days/weekends. The reality is that when the baby is older he's going to want a relationship with both parents, building it early makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Mom is not a partyer. She is a college educated professional who makes close to 6-figures. She is just dysfunctional when it comes to men. Dad is dragging her through the mud. Secretly taped all their arguments and using them against her, out of context, to twist the situation to his favor. She's no saint but it's an immature and evil tactic. I think he sold her a bill of goods and has been planning this for months.