1st grade boy never eats his packed lunch...need other viewpoints, pls - DH is so frustrated

[Anonymous]

Wth?? Give the kid a PBJ every day. Who cares? The kid doesn't want a thermos of super nice homemade soup. Give him a PBJ, piece of fruit, snack item. Super easy.

[Anonymous]

Your DH is understandably angry. Wait until he's over it to address things.

I noticed if I give a lot, nothing will be touched. If I give a small portion, it is more likely to get eaten because it doesn't seem as daunting.


What happens if you ask what he wants?

[Anonymous]

NP here echoing everyone else- send PB&J's if that's what he's eating. I also have a first grader, and he gets pasta w/ butter about 90% of the time based on his choice. My reasons:

1) My son's behavior is impacted when hungry (pretty common with kids, I think) so my priority is providing something he will eat. Variety is low on my priority scale.
2) As others have said, they are on their own during lunch. There is no "forcing," bribing, suggesting, logical conversations to be had. You're not there. I agree with someone else who said it's better to keep lines of honest communication open rather than go down a parh where the kid decides it's easier to toss food and be dishonest rather than face wrath at home for returning uneaten food.
3) No sense in wasting food. By packing what you know the kid eats, you will likely reduce food being wasted due to spoilage, etc.
4) As others have said, there is very limited time to eat so if they can dive right into familiar foods/packaging, score. It is so true about them fiddling with containers and whatnot....major time-waster to raise hand for help.
5) I figure my kids have a lifetime to develop their palates. Yes, I want to encourage variety as they grow up, but items 1-4 trump that for one meal a day during school.

[Anonymous]

1. In our book gogurt is a dessert.

2. That lunch sounds like more than my kid could have eaten before he was ten.

3. Cold quesadillas are yucky.

[Anonymous]

Let the kid have pb&j every day. My DS is actually a fantastic eater normally (for breakfast and dinner). Lunch at school is extremely time limited, and the pb sandwiches just work really well.

Just sent a pb sandwich and DH gets to choose the side.

Not worth making a big deal about. Tell your DH to calm down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of you should go in and volunteer in lunch one day. Even the 25min is not a true 25min. Teachers are late all the time, kids need to find their lunch box and the aides make them clean up 5-7min ahead of time so they make it out to recess. It is really sad how quickly and forced lunch is. If he can't open something, you have to raise your hand until someone comes over. ugh!! If you think the bag lunch kids have it bad, you should see the pizza line on Friday. I have seen kids get their lunch after waiting 18min in line and have 3min to scarf down a few bites and throw the rest away.

I'm a teacher who has lunch duty -- this is very true. Kids often have 10 minutes or less to eat their lunch.

Send something single, easy to open, easy to eat. Don't send 5 different pieces for lunch. Send 3 things.

[Anonymous]

PBJ is easy to hold, easy to chew, etc. It's also packed with protein which is what you want your kid to eat at school for mental energy. Granola bars are largely carbs unless they have nuts. That short burning fuel. Let him have PBJ and a piece of fruit. Done. Tell your DH he can still be inventive. Can cut crusts off in funny shapes, write a fun note in with the lunch, etc. Can he put that same love into something else, like a few minutes extra playing with DC?

[Anonymous]

I agree with the PP that suggested you join your DS for lunch sometimes - I also agree that PBJ every day is fine. But, there could also be a lot of other things going on that interfere with your DS getting lunch and you need to better understand what it is. One of my kids is overwhelmed in the cafeteria and for a while only drank the milk we packed. We also got teacher reports that he wasn't eating anything at lunch. That kid also has some LDs so our communication with the teachers was probably greater than most and we all recognized the lack of lunch was impacting his learning. We came up with a plan to improve DS's food intake over the school day - including allowing him a snack. Although the snack was written into his IEP as an accommodation, we knew it was standard practice to allow all the kids to eat a snack they brought from home.

Over the years, DS learned to deal with the cafeteria and this has been less of an issue.

[Anonymous]

I agree with 17:46. Not enough time for the kids to eat, and there is a lot in his lunchbox. I'd limit the lunch to 2 items - PBJ and apple slices, or crackers/cheese and carrot sticks, or a few quesadilla slices and bell peppers. I find that keeping the lunch down to 2 or at most 3 items helps it get eaten. Plus I have caved on my health requirements for school lunches because like you I saw that certain foods were eaten while some were barely touched, and it is more important to me that my kids get some fuel during the school day.

[Anonymous]

Your DH needs to calm down.

If your DS wants to eat PB&J every day, go with it. There are certainly worse choices out there, and it likely will be short-lived.

More generally, your DH needs to think about why this pushes his buttons so deeply. What is it that is touching a nerve? Sure, I understand it's annoying to make a meal that your kid doesn't eat or appreciate. I've been there way too many times. But to take it a step further and get punitive about it? That sounds extreme to me. Maybe it's triggering an issue from his childhood? Something around feeling chronically unappreciated, maybe? Give the kid PB&J and help your DH work out his control issue so it doesn't become your DS's problem.

[Anonymous]

Lunchroom supervisor here.

Send what he will eat, and an amount he can eat in less than 20 minutes. Your dh is being ridiculous. I see too many kids with 5 containers of things. It's too much and it's overwhelming.

Or he could keep packing lunches ds doesn't want or eat because he has control issues or something.

[Anonymous]

My kid has eaten PBJ (with sun butter in places where nuts weren't allowed) every day for the past 5 years. She reliably eats it, it has lots of protein, and we buy natural peanut butter so it doesn't have much sugar. At dinner, I try to expand her palate so I only make one thing (she usually eats only the vegetable side), so I'm happy that she's getting at least one nutritious meal each day.

This is really not a fight worth having.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They SWAP foods. They eat from other kids' lunches.

Don't die on this hill.

Your DH needs to chill out.

This! My guess exactly! My now second grade DS did this a lot last year. I finally told him that I was going to pop in and catch him in the act. He stopped pretty quickly after that.

Also, your DH could try getting your son involved in the lunch making. Have DS pick out some yummy looking lunches from http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/2012/04/19/school-lunch-roundup/ and help prepare them (time permitting, of course). Also, eating the same thing everyday never harmed anyone.

[Anonymous]

The DH is being childish over this issue. Give the kid something he likes which can be eaten quickly -- in this case, PBJ, and then maybe one or two more items. Yes, it is frustrating to see food come home, but after a few times, one needs to get the hint and either pack something different and/or pack far less!!

[Anonymous]

My DD ate PB&J almost every day for K and 1st. Now in 2d, she prefers not to have them (fine with me) but will eat them. Just b/c he eats PB&J every day doesn't mean that is what he will eat that forever. For me, it was more important that she ate.