MIL posted about my pregnancy on facebook without permisson

[Anonymous]

Unless you specifically asked her not to tell, you are overreacting, especially since you did the whole "first son in the big brother shirt picture" announcement. That doesn't make it seem like something you're trying to keep quiet -- that's fanfare. I think it would be an easy assumption that you weren't trying to keep this quiet.

And even if she did do this against your wishes, it's frustrating, but it's nothing to be in tears over. I mean, it's annoying, and risky, but I think you might want to consider the role that hormones and morning sickness (ugh - sorry about that, by the way!) are playing in your reaction.


+1

You are definitely overreacting and kind of brought this on yourself with the big brother photo.

In any case, this is not something to be in tears over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's what my husband and I said about it too. She's a mother to 6 kids and grandmother to 3 already and now two more. It's not like this is the first time she's heard the news but it's the first time she decided to post it asap. That's why we didn't think about saying 'hey, don't say anything yet.' because she's never done it in the past.

But you guys made it so easy for her: you sent her a really cute photo of her grandson announcing the new baby. She was so bowled over by his cute announcement, she wanted to share it.

Yes, this.

You set her up and now you are angry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised that you told even her so early and went to the lengths of taking a picture of your son in a big brother shirt.

If you didn't specifically ask her not to tell, you can't be mad at her. Especially with that picture and all--it doesn't seem like something you're trying to keep secret.

Yup, this. Personally, if you're concerned about "the safe zone", I think you shouldn't have told ANYONE, but that's just me

[Anonymous]

I am surprised many of you do not call your parents when you have such exciting news. We did keep it to ourselves for over 2 weeks but like I said- I have severe morning sickness so hiding this would be impossible. I thought the shirt idea was a cute way to include my son in the news and it was actually the way I told my husband. I wasn't asking for comments about the way I told them. I was simply asking if it was right for grandparents to share the news with everyone before the parents. Might I add, we did tell her that we were just telling close family (parents and siblings) and that was all so she did know ahead of time. Yes I am hormonal and will cry about stuff.

[Anonymous]

Unless she tagged you then none of your friends will know unless they are also friends with your MIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised many of you do not call your parents when you have such exciting news. We did keep it to ourselves for over 2 weeks but like I said- I have severe morning sickness so hiding this would be impossible. I thought the shirt idea was a cute way to include my son in the news and it was actually the way I told my husband. I wasn't asking for comments about the way I told them. I was simply asking if it was right for grandparents to share the news with everyone before the parents. Might I add, we did tell her that we were just telling close family (parents and siblings) and that was all so she did know ahead of time. Yes I am hormonal and will cry about stuff.

So you knew you were pregnant at 3 weeks pregnant? Wow!

Sounds to me like you're not happy with the feedback you're getting and are now adding to/changing the story.

[Anonymous]

Actually, I showed me husband this post and he said exactly what he said to his mom. I didn't have the conversation with my mil. She did tag my husband. I am not on fb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised many of you do not call your parents when you have such exciting news. We did keep it to ourselves for over 2 weeks but like I said- I have severe morning sickness so hiding this would be impossible. I thought the shirt idea was a cute way to include my son in the news and it was actually the way I told my husband. I wasn't asking for comments about the way I told them. I was simply asking if it was right for grandparents to share the news with everyone before the parents. Might I add, we did tell her that we were just telling close family (parents and siblings) and that was all so she did know ahead of time. Yes I am hormonal and will cry about stuff.

Let me first apologize if my post didn't precisely corespondent to parameters of your request for comment. The thing is, it's kind o crazy to include your son when you are pregnant for 3 weeks. It is even crazier to make the stupid photo and then share it with your MIL and then get upset when she shares it. you sound extremely controlling and as if things have to happen exactly according to your choreography. Hey, you are even chastising us her for daring to comment outside of boundaries you have set for us.

And btw I am one of those who does share the news with the family very early, ie immediately. But I don't do it through cutesy staged photos and I don't get upset if the word spreads and pretend I am very cautious and secretive. you sound like a pain to live with.

[Anonymous]

She should know better. Nobody should announce your pregnancy until after you and your DH.

[Anonymous]

Some of you on here are plain our rude. There is a difference between your opinion and then saying uncalled for comments. I already said I understand where most of you were coming from. You don't have to agree on how I announced the news. That wasn't the reason for
My thread. It was simply - should grandparents announce the new before the parents. Simple

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of you on here are plain our rude. There is a difference between your opinion and then saying uncalled for comments. I already said I understand where most of you were coming from. You don't have to agree on how I announced the news. That wasn't the reason for
My thread. It was simply - should grandparents announce the new before the parents. Simple

She didn't "announce" that you are pregnant. She related news about her own life on her Facebook page. Yes, that has become an announcement, but that's not necessarily how she saw it.

It's time to move on. It's really not something to get hysterical about. Your husband can calmly walk her through removing the post.

[Anonymous]

My MIL did this too, and we have a strict NO pictures of us/kids on FB. I was really annoyed that she told people before I did. It's wildly inappropriate to announce someone else's major news, but that's just the way she is. It's annoying, but what can you do now? Nothing. Just be clear with her that you don't appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of you on here are plain our rude. There is a difference between your opinion and then saying uncalled for comments. I already said I understand where most of you were coming from. You don't have to agree on how I announced the news. That wasn't the reason for
My thread. It was simply - should grandparents announce the new before the parents. Simple

The thing is, it's not that simple, it depends on the context. And in the context of the over the top photo shared extremely early on, involving a youmg child, without explicit requests etc, this is not a huge offense by your MIL. And again, your attitude is highly problematic. Touchy, controlling, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She should know better. Nobody should announce your pregnancy until after you and your DH.

+1. This isn't a question of Facebook etiquette. Its your happy news to share.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you on here are plain our rude. There is a difference between your opinion and then saying uncalled for comments. I already said I understand where most of you were coming from. You don't have to agree on how I announced the news. That wasn't the reason for
My thread. It was simply - should grandparents announce the new before the parents. Simple

The thing is, it's not that simple, it depends on the context. And in the context of the over the top photo shared extremely early on, involving a youmg child, without explicit requests etc, this is not a huge offense by your MIL. And again, your attitude is highly problematic. Touchy, controlling, etc.

The thing is…you did announce.