MIL posted about my pregnancy on facebook without permisson

[Anonymous]

With such people, the onus is on you to spell out boundaries.
Don't expect her to exercise common restraint.

In the future, I would keep sharing with her to an absolute minimum, because there is no guarantee that she will follow your privacy requests.

It's unfair that you have to modify your actions to suit her personality, but life is unfair. You should know that by now.

[Anonymous]

Five weeks? Isn't that like your period being a week late? And you are already dressing your kid in a big brother shirt? Am sorry but this is way weirder than what your MIL did. If you want to be cautious you don't take pics of your kid in that of shirt and share them. If you just told her over the phone without over the top pic she might have kept it for herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you specifically asked her not to tell, you are overreacting, especially since you did the whole "first son in the big brother shirt picture" announcement. That doesn't make it seem like something you're trying to keep quiet -- that's fanfare. I think it would be an easy assumption that you weren't trying to keep this quiet.

And even if she did do this against your wishes, it's frustrating, but it's nothing to be in tears over. I mean, it's annoying, and risky, but I think you might want to consider the role that hormones and morning sickness (ugh - sorry about that, by the way!) are playing in your reaction.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised that you told even her so early and went to the lengths of taking a picture of your son in a big brother shirt.

If you didn't specifically ask her not to tell, you can't be mad at her. Especially with that picture and all--it doesn't seem like something you're trying to keep secret.

Exactly. I would never have told anyone before the first doctor's appointment. Morning sickness can be explained away. Sorry, I think the pregnancy hormones are already playing havoc with your brain process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's what my husband and I said about it too. She's a mother to 6 kids and grandmother to 3 already and now two more. It's not like this is the first time she's heard the news but it's the first time she decided to post it asap. That's why we didn't think about saying 'hey, don't say anything yet.' because she's never done it in the past.

But you guys made it so easy for her: you sent her a really cute photo of her grandson announcing the new baby. She was so bowled over by his cute announcement, she wanted to share it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Five weeks? Isn't that like your period being a week late? And you are already dressing your kid in a big brother shirt? Am sorry but this is way weirder than what your MIL did. If you want to be cautious you don't take pics of your kid in that of shirt and share them. If you just told her over the phone without over the top pic she might have kept it for herself.

Second this. Super bizarre to dress up the kid at 5 weeks pregnant. And more bizarre to be mad at your MIL for sharing the news when you never told her not to. going to all the trouble of creating a cutesy announcement and never mention to keep it on the QT, and now you're mad she shared it?

[Anonymous]

That generation is still kind of clueless about internet etiquette and what's ok to share when etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's what my husband and I said about it too. She's a mother to 6 kids and grandmother to 3 already and now two more. It's not like this is the first time she's heard the news but it's the first time she decided to post it asap. That's why we didn't think about saying 'hey, don't say anything yet.' because she's never done it in the past.

But you guys made it so easy for her: you sent her a really cute photo of her grandson announcing the new baby. She was so bowled over by his cute announcement, she wanted to share it.

+1

[Anonymous]

She went too far. She should have known better. It's not cool to post anything on FB until the parents do. Everyone knows that.

[Anonymous]

I would be absolutely livid, but agree that she sounds kind of clueless. My MIL is like this - diarrhea of the mouth - and after a lot of frustrations I have finally learned to tell her as little as possible. Fortunately, she doesn't have a Facebook account so that saves me a lot of headaches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's what my husband and I said about it too. She's a mother to 6 kids and grandmother to 3 already and now two more. It's not like this is the first time she's heard the news but it's the first time she decided to post it asap. That's why we didn't think about saying 'hey, don't say anything yet.' because she's never done it in the past.

But you guys made it so easy for her: you sent her a really cute photo of her grandson announcing the new baby. She was so bowled over by his cute announcement, she wanted to share it.

Yes, this.

[Anonymous]

In the Facebook age, assume that any picture that you send to friends and families will end up there. If you don't want your news broadcast to the world, include a note explicity stating that. If you think you are sending it to a relative who does not respect privacy boundaries even with a note (like I've experienced), then don't send them any more pictures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She went too far. She should have known better. It's not cool to post anything on FB until the parents do. Everyone knows that.

The people I know of that generation who use FB have not figured out these social norms yet. I think she had the opportunity to show off and share some happy news and cute photos with friends and did without a second's thought, just like the rest of us when we started using FB 7-10 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's what my husband and I said about it too. She's a mother to 6 kids and grandmother to 3 already and now two more. It's not like this is the first time she's heard the news but it's the first time she decided to post it asap. That's why we didn't think about saying 'hey, don't say anything yet.' because she's never done it in the past.

But you guys made it so easy for her: you sent her a really cute photo of her grandson announcing the new baby. She was so bowled over by his cute announcement, she wanted to share it.

+1

But if it really bothers you - get your husband on the phone with her and talk real time while she is logged onto facebook on how to delete a post.

[Anonymous]

I'd be annoyed, too, but I'd mainly be kicking myself for not spelling out the desire for secrecy. Waiting until twelve weeks or so to share is most common, but everyone is different (case in point, the many people above who wouldn't even have shared with family this early), so it's important to specify. I don't know why everyone is being so hard on you for being in tears; I cried at the drop of a hat at certain points in my pregnancies.