on in-laws...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are usually annoyed by qualities in others that we have but do not acknowledge.

Well yes sometimes. But sometimes it really is actual differences that annoy us so much!

So you are acknowledging you are intolerant. Thus, you are the problem not your mil.

NP here. Lordy, spare us. You are tiresome. Your spin is so predictable. You need a new approach. Time to start your own thread, dear, dear MIL.

Lordy, you are predictable. Not a mil and not even close. You are once again demonstrating your intolerance by suggesting someone who disagrees with you should post elsewhere. Look in the mirror for the problem, honey.

Too funny! I'm the PP of the last post posted, just seeing this post - wow, this is really important to you to prove PP isn't it? You think this person is also me, and that we're both OP? You're funny! And really bizarre too. Must be a bummer to be so triggered by an observation in a thread. Therapy might be a good next step. Good luck hon!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are usually annoyed by qualities in others that we have but do not acknowledge.

Well yes sometimes. But sometimes it really is actual differences that annoy us so much!

So you are acknowledging you are intolerant. Thus, you are the problem not your mil.

NP here. Lordy, spare us. You are tiresome. Your spin is so predictable. You need a new approach. Time to start your own thread, dear, dear MIL.

Lordy, you are predictable. Not a mil and not even close. You are once again demonstrating your intolerance by suggesting someone who disagrees with you should post elsewhere. Look in the mirror for the problem, honey.

Too funny! I'm the PP of the last post posted, just seeing this post - wow, this is really important to you to prove PP isn't it? You think this person is also me, and that we're both OP? You're funny! And really bizarre too. Must be a bummer to be so triggered by an observation in a thread. Therapy might be a good next step. Good luck hon!

. Hmm, I am the one who thinks it is really important to prove this point? You seem a bit invested...hello pot...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are usually annoyed by qualities in others that we have but do not acknowledge.

Well yes sometimes. But sometimes it really is actual differences that annoy us so much!

So you are acknowledging you are intolerant. Thus, you are the problem not your mil.

NP here. Lordy, spare us. You are tiresome. Your spin is so predictable. You need a new approach. Time to start your own thread, dear, dear MIL.

Lordy, you are predictable. Not a mil and not even close. You are once again demonstrating your intolerance by suggesting someone who disagrees with you should post elsewhere. Look in the mirror for the problem, honey.

Too funny! I'm the PP of the last post posted, just seeing this post - wow, this is really important to you to prove PP isn't it? You think this person is also me, and that we're both OP? You're funny! And really bizarre too. Must be a bummer to be so triggered by an observation in a thread. Therapy might be a good next step. Good luck hon!

. Oh plz, when did anyone indicate you were op? You appear to have your own trigger and perhaps should take your own advice re therapy if a difference of opinion triggers such a response from you.

[Anonymous]

Methinks MIL has found this thread and BOY is she mad!

[Anonymous]

Lol. My MIL is controlling, meddlesome, and vindictive. She is also an alcoholic and tries to make us feel guilty for not wanting to spend time with her. I understand the posters' "issues." My MIL was probably a lovely lady before she became middle aged and took up drinking as her hobby of choice.

[Anonymous]

I've posted on threads before about how I hate how my MIL calls my baby, "my baby". If she were a lovely person in general and had this one and only quirk, I can't imagine that it would irk me or be worth mentioning. I have a coworker who calls him "my baby", too, and I know she simply means affection by it.

But my MIL is truly possessive of my child, and of my husband, and must be in control of every event that we host in our home, and tries to take over my kitchen, and won't follow even the most basic requests to respect our wishes regarding boundaries. She actively roots for the marriages of her children to fail so that she will have more time to talk to them every night. (She loved when my DH was divorced from his first wife and called her every night for an hour.)

So, the "my baby" complaint may be manufactured and petty to you, but to me it is the cherry on a dysfunction sundae that drives me nuts. Glad your IL's are peachy; mine are not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've posted on threads before about how I hate how my MIL calls my baby, "my baby". If she were a lovely person in general and had this one and only quirk, I can't imagine that it would irk me or be worth mentioning. I have a coworker who calls him "my baby", too, and I know she simply means affection by it.

But my MIL is truly possessive of my child, and of my husband, and must be in control of every event that we host in our home, and tries to take over my kitchen, and won't follow even the most basic requests to respect our wishes regarding boundaries. She actively roots for the marriages of her children to fail so that she will have more time to talk to them every night. (She loved when my DH was divorced from his first wife and called her every night for an hour.)

So, the "my baby" complaint may be manufactured and petty to you, but to me it is the cherry on a dysfunction sundae that drives me nuts. Glad your IL's are peachy; mine are not.

You just described my MIL. It took a massive nervous breakdown (and an ugly scene, regretfully) on my part to freak out MIL and DH. Now she mostly does not call me, she sees my child on the weekends without me but with DH (before she physically pushed me away from DC or locked herself in the room with the baby and would not let me in), and she visits our house only on holidays or when I am traveling for business. She still talks to DH on everyday basis, sees DC regularly, and in no way is excluded from their lives. She just does not see me that often and it is wonderful for both of us. I am not being pulled into a power struggle and she believes she is the most important woman in DH's and DC's lives.
Maybe you need to freak out yours for her to move away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've posted on threads before about how I hate how my MIL calls my baby, "my baby". If she were a lovely person in general and had this one and only quirk, I can't imagine that it would irk me or be worth mentioning. I have a coworker who calls him "my baby", too, and I know she simply means affection by it.

But my MIL is truly possessive of my child, and of my husband, and must be in control of every event that we host in our home, and tries to take over my kitchen, and won't follow even the most basic requests to respect our wishes regarding boundaries. She actively roots for the marriages of her children to fail so that she will have more time to talk to them every night. (She loved when my DH was divorced from his first wife and called her every night for an hour.)

So, the "my baby" complaint may be manufactured and petty to you, but to me it is the cherry on a dysfunction sundae that drives me nuts. Glad your IL's are peachy; mine are not.

You just described my MIL. It took a massive nervous breakdown (and an ugly scene, regretfully) on my part to freak out MIL and DH. Now she mostly does not call me, she sees my child on the weekends without me but with DH (before she physically pushed me away from DC or locked herself in the room with the baby and would not let me in), and she visits our house only on holidays or when I am traveling for business. She still talks to DH on everyday basis, sees DC regularly, and in no way is excluded from their lives. She just does not see me that often and it is wonderful for both of us. I am not being pulled into a power struggle and she believes she is the most important woman in DH's and DC's lives.
Maybe you need to freak out yours for her to move away.

+1

People with normal ILs have absolutely no idea, and need to think about starting their own threads, instead of trying to point the finger at strangers, who are clearly here to vent (and possibly commiserate). Highjacking others threads is not the way to do it.

Clearly if there were only one or two misunderstandings, DIL's would not see fit to complain here. It's the MIL who doesn't know when to stop who is the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've posted on threads before about how I hate how my MIL calls my baby, "my baby". If she were a lovely person in general and had this one and only quirk, I can't imagine that it would irk me or be worth mentioning. I have a coworker who calls him "my baby", too, and I know she simply means affection by it.

But my MIL is truly possessive of my child, and of my husband, and must be in control of every event that we host in our home, and tries to take over my kitchen, and won't follow even the most basic requests to respect our wishes regarding boundaries. She actively roots for the marriages of her children to fail so that she will have more time to talk to them every night. (She loved when my DH was divorced from his first wife and called her every night for an hour.)

So, the "my baby" complaint may be manufactured and petty to you, but to me it is the cherry on a dysfunction sundae that drives me nuts. Glad your IL's are peachy; mine are not.

You just described my MIL. It took a massive nervous breakdown (and an ugly scene, regretfully) on my part to freak out MIL and DH. Now she mostly does not call me, she sees my child on the weekends without me but with DH (before she physically pushed me away from DC or locked herself in the room with the baby and would not let me in), and she visits our house only on holidays or when I am traveling for business. She still talks to DH on everyday basis, sees DC regularly, and in no way is excluded from their lives. She just does not see me that often and it is wonderful for both of us. I am not being pulled into a power struggle and she believes she is the most important woman in DH's and DC's lives.
Maybe you need to freak out yours for her to move away.

+1

People with normal ILs have absolutely no idea, and need to think about starting their own threads, instead of trying to point the finger at strangers, who are clearly here to vent (and possibly commiserate). Highjacking others threads is not the way to do it.

Clearly if there were only one or two misunderstandings, DIL's would not see fit to complain here. It's the MIL who doesn't know when to stop who is the problem.

Did you even read the first post? OP did start her own thread.

[Anonymous]

So what is OPs point? She is a disgruntled MIL who only wants to hear how wonderful MILs are?

[Anonymous]

No. I doubt she is a mil. I agree with her and I am no mil. Some of these mil hating threads are beyond ridiculous and petty. She simply did what someone else was bitching about a started her own thread. Her premise is pretty straightforward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I doubt she is a mil. I agree with her and I am no mil. Some of these mil hating threads are beyond ridiculous and petty. She simply did what someone else was bitching about a started her own thread. Her premise is pretty straightforward.

ITA. Some of the MIL threads are indeed petty. However, some are not so petty; and some MILs can be quite trifling and antagonistic themselves. If (for example) my only vacation time was limited to time away with a petty, depressed, bitter MIL who delights in digging at a DIL who did nothing wrong - that would be a nightmare! Especially if the DILs only "crime" was to be extremely different from MIL - and MIL somehow took it as a personal affront, instead of embracing differences. Aren't we all (in this generation, at least) teaching our children to embrace differences? Isn't that the right and humane thing to do?

Find some sympathy in your heart. Isn't that one of few traits (besides opposable thumbs) that differentiates us from animals? Not everyone can be like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I doubt she is a mil. I agree with her and I am no mil. Some of these mil hating threads are beyond ridiculous and petty. She simply did what someone else was bitching about a started her own thread. Her premise is pretty straightforward.

ITA. Some of the MIL threads are indeed petty. However, some are not so petty; and some MILs can be quite trifling and antagonistic themselves. If (for example) my only vacation time was limited to time away with a petty, depressed, bitter MIL who delights in digging at a DIL who did nothing wrong - that would be a nightmare! Especially if the DILs only "crime" was to be extremely different from MIL - and MIL somehow took it as a personal affront, instead of embracing differences. Aren't we all (in this generation, at least) teaching our children to embrace differences? Isn't that the right and humane thing to do?

Find some sympathy in your heart. Isn't that one of few traits (besides opposable thumbs) that differentiates us from animals? Not everyone can be like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I doubt she is a mil. I agree with her and I am no mil. Some of these mil hating threads are beyond ridiculous and petty. She simply did what someone else was bitching about a started her own thread. Her premise is pretty straightforward.

ITA. Some of the MIL threads are indeed petty. However, some are not so petty; and some MILs can be quite trifling and antagonistic themselves. If (for example) my only vacation time was limited to time away with a petty, depressed, bitter MIL who delights in digging at a DIL who did nothing wrong - that would be a nightmare! Especially if the DILs only "crime" was to be extremely different from MIL - and MIL somehow took it as a personal affront, instead of embracing differences. Aren't we all (in this generation, at least) teaching our children to embrace differences? Isn't that the right and humane thing to do?

Find some sympathy in your heart. Isn't that one of few traits (besides opposable thumbs) that differentiates us from animals? Not everyone can be like you.

Perhaps you should take your own advice. Try having a little sympathy for the MILs who have to deal with the petty, antagonistic, jealous, controlling DILs. It isn't just a one way street as many of the recent post of so aptly demonstrated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Perhaps you should take your own advice. Try having a little sympathy for the MILs who have to deal with the petty, antagonistic, jealous, controlling DILs. It isn't just a one way street as many of the recent post of so aptly demonstrated.

+ 1.

Bitchy and mean women will be bitchy and mean as DIL and as MIL. Many DCUM posters fall in that category. Yes, people who have normal DILs or MILs will never fathom what others are talking about, because these women excel in making mountains out of molehills.