Inviting HS Sweetheart to Visit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are looking for some type of pat on the back for being honest, I am sorry I cannot give you that. Yet.

I get the feeling that a part of you is using this golden opportunity as a tool to show your wife that you do have other options in your life + that there are other people who do want you in spite of the fact that your wife may not.

I can understand why you are acting the way you are. I would too.

Theoretically however, I do not think this is the ideal way to handle your marriage issue.
Instead of playing games or using jealousy strategies, I would instead address the issue directly and seek professional help to solve your marital problems.

Inviting a third party into this mess will only make things worse.

Op here. Sage advice - thank you.

[Anonymous]

I want to be adult about the whole thing and be sensitive to wife's feelings. Her removing the physical and emotional support from our marriage has made me less pliable. And not that I am looking for a fight, but if it was an impetus to force the conversation regarding the long term viability of our marriage that might not be a bad thing.

OP if you want to have a convo with your wife about the long-term viability of your marriage, then have the conversation. Using your HS flame as "an impetus to force the conversation" starts the two of you on unequal footing and frankly, is a d*ck move (to both ladies).

A sexless marriage would be a no-go for me, so I feel you. If you need more, make that your focus, and be honest about it.

[Anonymous]

NP...I am surprised at so e of these. Getting they the ex high school one night stand is a necessary thing. Do it and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I want to be adult about the whole thing and be sensitive to wife's feelings. Her removing the physical and emotional support from our marriage has made me less pliable. And not that I am looking for a fight, but if it was an impetus to force the conversation regarding the long term viability of our marriage that might not be a bad thing.

OP if you want to have a convo with your wife about the long-term viability of your marriage, then have the conversation. Using your HS flame as "an impetus to force the conversation" starts the two of you on unequal footing and frankly, is a d*ck move (to both ladies).

A sexless marriage would be a no-go for me, so I feel you. If you need more, make that your focus, and be honest about it.

OP here. Point taken. I have had the conversation which I why I alluded to that fact that we may both be staying in the marriage for the children. I don't think either one of us is strong enough (or perhaps selfish enough) to break up family home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did this once. Wound up having sex in his truck and telling DH we were getting divorced the next day. I'm now dating high school flame all over again and it is great. We needed the years apart to get to who we are today.

OMG. How did your husband take this news?

Pretty well. There'd been a little rain cloud following us for the 6 months leading up to it, but we were just kind of ignoring it.

6 months!?! Way to hang in there and give it all you've got.

Sometimes you know. Better than dragging it out, adding a kid thinking it'll be better then, etc. We are both much happier apart than we were together. I don't regret a thing.

Sure, and your poor ex-husband is all alone knowing he got cheated on while you are schtupping the guy with the truck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's fine to meet with an old friend even an old girlfriend. Your ex's wanting to meet sounds innocent. Perhaps the state of your marriage is making you read more into the request to meet than there is. It sounds like you would want there to be the possibility of something with someone. Remember you still are married, even if it's a sexless marriage.

Not fine to meet with exGF if you feel the need to hide the fact.

OP here. Not thinking of hiding it. Thinking of inviting exGF to my home vs. meeting in a restaurant/coffee shop. So I would tell DW; question is how is she likely to react...although just realized while typing this - there's two issues. One is should I tell DW and two is does exGF want to meet me or the family ? Not being purposely obtuse - sure I will get flamed.

Saying she is on old friend is lying. She is an ex. Big difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's fine to meet with an old friend even an old girlfriend. Your ex's wanting to meet sounds innocent. Perhaps the state of your marriage is making you read more into the request to meet than there is. It sounds like you would want there to be the possibility of something with someone. Remember you still are married, even if it's a sexless marriage.

Not fine to meet with exGF if you feel the need to hide the fact.

OP here. Not thinking of hiding it. Thinking of inviting exGF to my home vs. meeting in a restaurant/coffee shop. So I would tell DW; question is how is she likely to react...although just realized while typing this - there's two issues. One is should I tell DW and two is does exGF want to meet me or the family ? Not being purposely obtuse - sure I will get flamed.

I don't understand...are you asking if you should tell DW you are planning on inviting the exGF to your house or tell her it's an exGF?
I would tell your wife otherwise you are asking for trouble when the exGF shows up.

Besides, you don't really know your exGF. You are remembering what was and romanticizing it. You don't know if she's the psycho from Fatal Attraction.

Regardless, you and your wife need to talk (seriously) about your marriage. If sex is important to you, you need to speak up.
My DH and I are TRYING to have sex but the darn kids keep interrupting. It's been almost a week and I'm going crazy with frustration.

If she doesn't want to have sex with you, there is a REASON. You need to figure out that reason and work on fixing your marriage.

[Anonymous]

Get off the internet. Don't see the old girlfriend. Work on your marriage. Mature some.