Wife says I should not go back to school. Agree?

[Anonymous]

I agree w/pp ~ it's self indulgent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you saved for your HS daughter's college education already?

It will be a long time before you will reap any financial reward from the graduate program -- is that what you mean by using it in your career?

I am all for education, including advanced degrees, but when my ex went through this process, he just needed the degree...not from the most expensive or prestigious school. He was in his mid-30s at the time.

Prove to yourself you can do it? Prove to someone else? Agree, if it's just to get the degree, maybe you should wait...

The proving is that I went to a second/third tier undergrad. I always wanted to know what it is like to have a prestigious school on my resume. Maybe it's an insecurity but a feeling is a feeling.

I am a strong proponent of education. And I have gone to second/third tier state universities. I can not imagine how a prestigious school on the resume would change anything. For me, it would have helped in the the first 5 years, but today, I have a 20 year track record. That is better than any education.

I have a bachelors and a masters from second tier/third tier state schools, and a JD from a top 20 law school. The JD is the degree that I regret. I paid too much for it. I should have gone to a cheaper, less prestigious law school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It does not sound like the degree benefits are worth the stress ot would put on your family at this time. Give it a few years and rexamine. Or, take ONE class and reassess.

OP again. I was thinking about that. Taking the GRE, applying, getting in, and seeing how it goes with one class. Then I can proceed. I did ask them if I could start as a non-degree student and they were not crazy about the idea.

MBA requires GMAT not GRE. Its not at all obviuos you would be accepted to this program. How old are you? If you are over 40, forget it, they wont admit you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree w/pp ~ it's self indulgent

So what? I am so tired of this. Live like crap for 70 years so you can fly first class at 75.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of women go back to school later in life putting additional stress on their husbands while they study, no reason why men can't as well. You should have actually posted it as a woman wanting to go back to school and her husband not wanting her to - you would have gotten pages of asshole husband + you go after what you want woman responses.

I wouldn't go back if your main reason is to see what a prestigious school looks like on your resume. That is a lot of time, money and sacrifice for ego.

I am not someone who thinks you should sacrifice your life now in the hopes you will have some great life in the future. You only live once and have no idea what the future holds and time now is just as important as time 15 or 20 years from now. It doesn't sound like this will be a great imposition on your family then seriously consider the merits and outcomes of doing this program - how will you benefit you, your family, your lives in tangible ways and make a decision.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of women go back to school later in life putting additional stress on their husbands while they study, no reason why men can't as well. You should have actually posted it as a woman wanting to go back to school and her husband not wanting her to - you would have gotten pages of asshole husband + you go after what you want woman responses.

I wouldn't go back if your main reason is to see what a prestigious school looks like on your resume. That is a lot of time, money and sacrifice for ego.

I am not someone who thinks you should sacrifice your life now in the hopes you will have some great life in the future. You only live once and have no idea what the future holds and time now is just as important as time 15 or 20 years from now. It doesn't sound like this will be a great imposition on your family then seriously consider the merits and outcomes of doing this program - how will you benefit you, your family, your lives in tangible ways and make a decision.

+1

This doesn't make any sense -- first you say that OP should've posted as a woman to get "you go girl" responses, and then you post exactly the same advice that everyone else has been posting. So you think OP should've lied to get wrong advice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree w/pp ~ it's self indulgent

So what? I am so tired of this. Live like crap for 70 years so you can fly first class at 75.

You don't get to be self-indulgent yet at the tune of $48K. You're almost there, but not quite. Once college and retirement are fully funded, then you can save up $48K and do what you want with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree w/pp ~ it's self indulgent

So what? I am so tired of this. Live like crap for 70 years so you can fly first class at 75.

If you live like crap, it is because you choose to do so. The lack of a degree from a brand-name school does not per se translate to living like crap. Make different choices.

RE "tired of this" - you sound like a 12 year old. Grow up. You have a family, including a dependent for whom you are responsible.

What is the status of your daughter's college fund? Will she have to take out loans to get through school? That question has been asked a few times and you have not answered it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad got his PhD while I was working on my Masters. It was just something that he wanted and it was the first time in his life he felt he had the time between work and family commitments. I think if it is something that will be fulfilling for you, you should go for it. My dad died unexpectedly a year after he completed it and I'm glad he got to do some of the things on his bucket list.

OP here. I bet that even if your dad was a multi millionaire, the satisfaction of getting his PhD was an enormous source of pride. I understand what people are saying about retirement funds, etc., but I plan to work way into my 60's. Sometimes a person just has to do something because they want to give it a try, no matter if pieces of the puzzle are illogical.

My dad had a few million in investments and retirement savings, but he was 60 when he got his PhD and 61 when he died. He was planning to work until he was 70. He had no intention of ever using the PhD. His BS and MS were in Electical Engineering, PhD in Mathematics and he built the software currently in use by the Navy. He was interested in doing it and wanted a challenge. I was the only one of my 4 siblings to go to college and I was his baby. Once I was done with my undergrad there was no reason he shouldn't do something he wanted. My mom had bought horses a couple years before and spent her time with them while he was working on school. Life is short, do what will make you happy. Your wife will go on the ride with you. My husband didn't enjoy my Masters and I didn't enjoy his paramedic school while he was working 24 hour shifts at the fire department. We did it, it was stressful, but we both are glad we did it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my husband and I were in this situation this would be a decision that both of us would have to fully support in order to say yes. Here is what I expect we would be wrestling in terms of factors:

- remaining time with child
- drain on family and spouse time
- financial drain, especially at a time when facing college costs for child
- fulfillment of a dream
- the example set by a parent when going back to school can be very powerful
- likelihood of the education paying off significantly (in emotional/financial/career/self-worth measures)
- level of want versus need involved in the desire to pursue the degree
- cost/benefit analysis for the family, marriage and other relationships that might be impacted by one person undertaking something like this.

To be honest, it would be a pretty tough sell in our house. I would love to go back to graduate school (and I too feel a bit of the "something to prove" issue) but it would do significantly more harm that good to my marriage and my relationship with my kids. So it would be a non-starter for us. If my husband wanted to do it and I sensed on some level that it was as much out of personal vanity, or if I felt that it was a pipe dream pursuit in terms of entrepreneurial opportunities, then I'd be opposed.

I'm not saying that's what's going on w/ you and this program, but those would be among my concerns.

Honey, is that you? My children actually saw me go back to get my professional license and were proud of their dad. I just want to do something different, get the "chip off my shoulder about non-prestigious" undergrad, plug into a new network, and learn more about another area so that I can meet up with people who also want to start companies as well as the venture capital people who are interested in graduates of this program,.

That's what I was thinking, that your kid watching you do this program, study and put in the time and work involved would give them a glimpse of what college will be like and what their work and study habits need to be in order to succeed. Not to mention seeing you excited about a career, seeing the networking that is involved. I wish I had grown up watching someone do networking! As a concept it is still mystifying to me and I'm almost 40.

If you can swing it financially I would say go for it. Prestigious schools matter on a resume, at least in my field. I've known people who did not get jobs simply because they did not go to the right law school. My dad started a new business at around this stage in his life and he is doing well and loving it. Granted, he works every single day of his life, but he likes that and wouldn't be happy otherwise. Some people aren't meant for retirement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It does not sound like the degree benefits are worth the stress ot would put on your family at this time. Give it a few years and rexamine. Or, take ONE class and reassess.

OP again. I was thinking about that. Taking the GRE, applying, getting in, and seeing how it goes with one class. Then I can proceed. I did ask them if I could start as a non-degree student and they were not crazy about the idea.

MBA requires GMAT not GRE. Its not at all obviuos you would be accepted to this program. How old are you? If you are over 40, forget it, they wont admit you.

OP here. Already have the MBA and went through the entire GMAT process. Would need the GRE for this program. Without outing myself, this is a professional school where non-traditional students, some even in late 50's, attend.

[Anonymous]

I feel like this may be an excuse to escape spending time with your wife now that the empty nest is looming.

[Anonymous]

When my two DDs leave the nest (yes, in 18 years, so it's a while) ... right now, I'm looking forward to going out to eat and see shows on the spur of the moment, traveling, seeing friends at the drop of a hat, and doing much/all of this with my wife/with adult kids that might appreciate it as opposed to act militantly bored by it.

This might end up costing $48k a year, but I'd be able to enjoy it with my wife and kids. This college degree -- that is for you and you alone. Your wife and kids can't really enjoy it along with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you saved for your HS daughter's college education already?

It will be a long time before you will reap any financial reward from the graduate program -- is that what you mean by using it in your career?

I am all for education, including advanced degrees, but when my ex went through this process, he just needed the degree...not from the most expensive or prestigious school. He was in his mid-30s at the time.

Prove to yourself you can do it? Prove to someone else? Agree, if it's just to get the degree, maybe you should wait...

The proving is that I went to a second/third tier undergrad. I always wanted to know what it is like to have a prestigious school on my resume. Maybe it's an insecurity but a feeling is a feeling.

Honestly, that is a really stupid reason to get a second graduate degree. Acting out of insecurity is pretty much never a good idea, especially when it will cost $48K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you saved for your HS daughter's college education already?

It will be a long time before you will reap any financial reward from the graduate program -- is that what you mean by using it in your career?

I am all for education, including advanced degrees, but when my ex went through this process, he just needed the degree...not from the most expensive or prestigious school. He was in his mid-30s at the time.

Prove to yourself you can do it? Prove to someone else? Agree, if it's just to get the degree, maybe you should wait...

The proving is that I went to a second/third tier undergrad. I always wanted to know what it is like to have a prestigious school on my resume. Maybe it's an insecurity but a feeling is a feeling.

I am a strong proponent of education. And I have gone to second/third tier state universities. I can not imagine how a prestigious school on the resume would change anything. For me, it would have helped in the the first 5 years, but today, I have a 20 year track record. That is better than any education.

This is an excellent point. When you are just starting out, the school you went to may matter a lot. When you have a decades-long work history, it really doesn't matter as much.