Wife says I should not go back to school. Agree?

[Anonymous]

I am familiar with Columbia University's Master of Liberal Studies program. They even get people in their late 70's or 80's in there who always wanted some liberal arts training or want an Ivy League degree or to learn for the sake of learning. If there isn't anything wrong with that, what's the problem with this man wanting to go back to school? Maybe he wants an academic challenge?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am familiar with Columbia University's Master of Liberal Studies program. They even get people in their late 70's or 80's in there who always wanted some liberal arts training or want an Ivy League degree or to learn for the sake of learning. If there isn't anything wrong with that, what's the problem with this man wanting to go back to school? Maybe he wants an academic challenge?

Nothing, if it does not impact his family negatively.

Not convinced that is not the case here, if he is paying for this out of pocket while his DD has to take out student loans to get her education.

It also strikes me that OP is very invested in a name-brand school for himself, but not for his DD.

[Anonymous]

OP unless you have money for this out of pocket, without jeopardizing your child's education, you are being selfish and immature.

[Anonymous]

What is the reason that this D is going to start at college locally? It seems a little odd (depending on her circumstances), given your regrets about being a commuter student in college.

Isn't there a different way that you could get some of the intellectual stimulation you seek, that wouldn't be as costly or time-consuming?

Would you be taking out loans to pay your own tuition?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP unless you have money for this out of pocket, without jeopardizing your child's education, you are being selfish and immature.

You forgot to write at the start - In my opinion based on what I prioritize...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am familiar with Columbia University's Master of Liberal Studies program. They even get people in their late 70's or 80's in there who always wanted some liberal arts training or want an Ivy League degree or to learn for the sake of learning. If there isn't anything wrong with that, what's the problem with this man wanting to go back to school? Maybe he wants an academic challenge?

Nothing, if it does not impact his family negatively.

Not convinced that is not the case here, if he is paying for this out of pocket while his DD has to take out student loans to get her education.

It also strikes me that OP is very invested in a name-brand school for himself, but not for his DD.

Wow, yeah. I almost missed that. Good catch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP unless you have money for this out of pocket, without jeopardizing your child's education, you are being selfish and immature.

You forgot to write at the start - In my opinion based on what I prioritize...

The moment we have children, they should be our first priority. This is particularly so with regard to our wants (as opposed to needs).
If you think that is a matter of opinion, your moral compass is broken.

[Anonymous]

What I find is funny is that one of the main reasons OP wants to go back to school is to get the "college experience" (which you wont' get at your age) because he went a commuter college. And yet he's forcing his daughter to be a commuter so that he can go back to school.

I can't imagine being married to someone as selfish as OP. He only seems to care about himself and what he wants (not needs) and is unable to see anyone else's opinion. Sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I find is funny is that one of the main reasons OP wants to go back to school is to get the "college experience" (which you wont' get at your age) because he went a commuter college. And yet he's forcing his daughter to be a commuter so that he can go back to school.

I can't imagine being married to someone as selfish as OP. He only seems to care about himself and what he wants (not needs) and is unable to see anyone else's opinion. Sad.

I am interested to understand from OP why he thinks he missed out by not getting a degree from a brand-name school (and therefore, presumably places a high value on such a degree), but on the other hand is cool with sending his DD to a commuter school (presumably not a name-brand one since it doesn't cost much per OP).

I truly want to understand this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I find is funny is that one of the main reasons OP wants to go back to school is to get the "college experience" (which you wont' get at your age) because he went a commuter college. And yet he's forcing his daughter to be a commuter so that he can go back to school.

I can't imagine being married to someone as selfish as OP. He only seems to care about himself and what he wants (not needs) and is unable to see anyone else's opinion. Sad.

I am interested to understand from OP why he thinks he missed out by not getting a degree from a brand-name school (and therefore, presumably places a high value on such a degree), but on the other hand is cool with sending his DD to a commuter school (presumably not a name-brand one since it doesn't cost much per OP).

I truly want to understand this.

OP, bloodied but not defeated here. To clear the air, my child is interested in a name brand school, but it is within commuting distance so not sure why people think I am telling her to be a commuter but I have to go to the big-name place. And this choice is something SHE wants to pursue as a means to acclimate herself to college life in stages rather than plunge into dorm life. Is that some kind of a crime?

And why is everyone say I am so selfish? I have worked damn hard for many years, including when my wife has been SAHM to provide. My family lives in a nice home, takes at least one vacation a year, and I have always encouraged my wife and kids to stretch their minds and accomplish their dreams. Am I an ogre doing all this? So what If I would like to go back to a college campus. I'm not expecting to party, drink, meet girls, and go to football games. But I would like to leverage my current skill set and do something different. And participate in an academic environment rather than the work world. I will probably go part time to begin with and then if finances permit will finish up full time WHILE consulting with flexible hours to pay the bills.

[Anonymous]

^ you wanted feedback. You got feedback. Do the whatever h*ll you want ~ sounds like that's your plan anyway.

[Anonymous]

Don't do it *unless* you can pay for it without taking any loans and still fully fund your retirement and your childrens' college tuition. Not worth it.

[Anonymous]

Op your honey is that you post makes it clear you want people to agree with you and that you are mean when you don't get what you want. This may explain why you are not as successful in business as you want to be. People don't want to do business with assholes. If I was your wife I would be seriously considering divorce. I wouldn't want to take on the debt for a guy that doesn't want to spend time with me enjoying the next phase of our life together. I would be fearful of taking on shared debt just for you given my earning potential and yours is decreasing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op your honey is that you post makes it clear you want people to agree with you and that you are mean when you don't get what you want. This may explain why you are not as successful in business as you want to be. People don't want to do business with assholes. If I was your wife I would be seriously considering divorce. I wouldn't want to take on the debt for a guy that doesn't want to spend time with me enjoying the next phase of our life together. I would be fearful of taking on shared debt just for you given my earning potential and yours is decreasing.

I agree--OP sounds like he just posted here wanting people to agree that he should go back to school, and isn't really interested in people who disagree with that. OP, it's clear that you are going to do this, no matter what your wife or anyone else thinks, so why bother asking for input?

Plus, it's kind of a dick move to have your daughter take out student loans while you fund a $48K vanity degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op your honey is that you post makes it clear you want people to agree with you and that you are mean when you don't get what you want. This may explain why you are not as successful in business as you want to be. People don't want to do business with assholes. If I was your wife I would be seriously considering divorce. I wouldn't want to take on the debt for a guy that doesn't want to spend time with me enjoying the next phase of our life together. I would be fearful of taking on shared debt just for you given my earning potential and yours is decreasing.

I agree--OP sounds like he just posted here wanting people to agree that he should go back to school, and isn't really interested in people who disagree with that. OP, it's clear that you are going to do this, no matter what your wife or anyone else thinks, so why bother asking for input?

Plus, it's kind of a dick move to have your daughter take out student loans while you fund a $48K vanity degree.

+1