Wife says I should not go back to school. Agree?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It does not sound like the degree benefits are worth the stress ot would put on your family at this time. Give it a few years and rexamine. Or, take ONE class and reassess.

OP again. I was thinking about that. Taking the GRE, applying, getting in, and seeing how it goes with one class. Then I can proceed. I did ask them if I could start as a non-degree student and they were not crazy about the idea.

MBA requires GMAT not GRE. Its not at all obviuos you would be accepted to this program. How old are you? If you are over 40, forget it, they wont admit you.

OP here. Already have the MBA and went through the entire GMAT process. Would need the GRE for this program. Without outing myself, this is a professional school where non-traditional students, some even in late 50's, attend.

If you scored well enough on the GMAT to get into a top 12 MBA program, you can study and get a good GRE score as well. Think PP is wrong about schools writing off any applicant older than 40. Except for med school, schools mostly don't care about age of applicant, and in fact, for grad school and business school, schools are biased against those just coming out of college and prefer those with at least some work/life experience. Have seen many older applicants in law, grad and business school. Schools basically care 1) if you can pay or get loans and 2) if you are likely to use your degree and be employed after graduating so you don't wreck their post-grad stats. Helps application if your grad school application somehow builds on prior experience, so as not to seem like a total career switch or ill-thought out new interest of the moment (because school also wants to see you graduate, so as not to lose your tuition or have you wreck their graduate stats.)

[Anonymous]

Sounds to me like you are having a mid-life crisis and somehow want to rewind and re-live the college years and get the "true" college experience. Doesn't sound to me like this would do anything for you professionally, or at least guarantee anything. You talk about making connections and having prestige, but I don't think going to a school part-time is really going to fulfill any of these things.

I understand your concern about your current employer an wanting to be proactive. But I would suggest doing things such as joining new groups - networking in new places. Take your $40,000 and join a country club and meet influencers. Seriously, this idea of getting another degree seems like a complete waste of money and time. It sounds like a dream rather than a necessity and I'm not buying the argument that this is going to help you professionally.

Sorry, but I would not be on board with this plan. I would be encouraging you to do things that will put you in new networks. Joining a board, attending charity events, joining a business club.. etc etc. Those are ways to make connections and possibly get you into a new job..not sitting in a classroom and studying every night of the week and weekend.....

[Anonymous]

I'm all for me people going back to school, my husband and I have taken time supporting each other for this. But you have to look at the whole picture. $40-48k is a lot of money for most people. Who ever said it's just the cost of a nice car, no big deal, is lucky to be able to say that. I think for many of us that cost would make you rethink your plans. I'm sure you can find a less expensive, less sacrificial way to meet your end goal.

[Anonymous]

Undergrad I went to a mostly commuter school due to a number of family issues. And when on DCUM, always feel like a missed something that everyone else cherishes. So I graduated in a very marketable field and did well enough to get into a good MBA program (UVA tier) due to work history, recommendations, and reasonable GMAT score. Fast forward a few years later and spent a year studying, and eventually passing an exam for a profession license.

But something for me is still missing. The MBA and license were strictly for professional reasons. I never had a chance to be on a real campus, attending part for career and part just for the sake of learning.

I don't mean to be unkind but I don't think you're looking at this with a discerning eye and you seem to be working very hard to convince yourself that this fantasy of going back to school will somehow fulfill you. It's like an 'academic' affair. You're in a fog. From what I've seen, DCUM don't reminisce about how much they cherish their undergrad experience. Oh, there are some people who prattle on about the need to go to a prestigious school but those are likely the same people who think their kids have to go to private elementary for a quality education. You are ignoring the huge number of us who had experiences similar to your own. I didn't go to a commuter colleger (except summers) but I did work full time while going to school full time - and I know I'm not the only one. But, I did do my MBA at GMU - is that commuter enough? And, I strictly did it for professional/career reasons. That's what most of the world does - they go to school so they can become better educated and get better jobs, not to fulfill an emotional need.

I did the part time MBA program at Mason right after I got married and before I had kids. It took a lot of my time and was quite an adjustment for my DH. I think you're underestimating the impact on your DW and your relationship. I don't mean to be snarky but this is the exact type of thing a relationship counselor can help you navigate. You two likely have very differing opinions about this and are having problems finding a compromise. You should consider counseling.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why you aren't putting more energy into finding a better job. It seems your current job situation is a source of significant dissatisfaction. If you had a more rewarding job, you'd likely find yourself less apt to 'escape' your current situation by going back to school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why you aren't putting more energy into finding a better job. It seems your current job situation is a source of significant dissatisfaction. If you had a more rewarding job, you'd likely find yourself less apt to 'escape' your current situation by going back to school.

Maybe the grad school idea is a transitional approach. At least you can keep the current job while preparing yourself to jump to a different career. Maybe you're feeling uncomfortable about your ability to move to another job right now?

I agree with other posters that grad school is an expensive, time-consuming proposition that is going to affect your family more than you seem to realize. I did my master's degree while working full time. I had to cut back on family activities quite a lot. If your wife is opposed, then going forward with grad school becomes a family problem.

But two other primary issues are that you seem to feel not only unfulfilled but also concerned about your long-term prospects relating to your current job.

Other posters might be right about mid-life crisis playing into this scenario. That doesn't mitigate the real (according to you) underlying issue of job security.

[Anonymous]

OP back. Wife and I had a long talk. She knows the current job is an immense source of frustration - tired of the upper senior management threatening all of our jobs. And I will admit, it is the catalyst for thinking about graduate school. If the job was going fantastically, this probably would not have come up. But reality is what it is. For me, I tend to be highly self-reflective. And because of this work situation, I am pondering different decisions - would my life have been different if I went away and graduated from a prestigious school? What if I had taken another job? Did I do my due diligence for this position? Nobody can go back in time, but we can learn from mistakes and try not to repeat them.

My wife also mentioned something else. She said, "you have an MBA from a better business school with lots of successful graduates, a license that is hard to get and respected, if that is not enough, what is for you"? I see her points. But at the same time, I really want to move my career in a different direction and leverage new learning with my other experiences. I really do not want to wake up in ten years doing the same things I am doing today. That is where this graduate program comes in. At the least, I am going to get a bigger network.

What it came down to is, my wife is not crazy about the idea but sees that it has merit vs. a husband who is either going to be miserable with stress or die from it. So we are working through this idea: me taking the GRE in a couple of months, hopefully getting accepted, and then trying a course or two. If being there proves that it is a solid opportunity, great and continue. If not, at least I tried and can put on my resume that I took a couple of graduate courses. She is a very different person from me. I more of a Type A who is always trying to prove something while she is laid back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP back. Wife and I had a long talk. She knows the current job is an immense source of frustration - tired of the upper senior management threatening all of our jobs. And I will admit, it is the catalyst for thinking about graduate school. If the job was going fantastically, this probably would not have come up. But reality is what it is. For me, I tend to be highly self-reflective. And because of this work situation, I am pondering different decisions - would my life have been different if I went away and graduated from a prestigious school? What if I had taken another job? Did I do my due diligence for this position? Nobody can go back in time, but we can learn from mistakes and try not to repeat them.

My wife also mentioned something else. She said, "you have an MBA from a better business school with lots of successful graduates, a license that is hard to get and respected, if that is not enough, what is for you"? I see her points. But at the same time, I really want to move my career in a different direction and leverage new learning with my other experiences. I really do not want to wake up in ten years doing the same things I am doing today. That is where this graduate program comes in. At the least, I am going to get a bigger network.

What it came down to is, my wife is not crazy about the idea but sees that it has merit vs. a husband who is either going to be miserable with stress or die from it. So we are working through this idea: me taking the GRE in a couple of months, hopefully getting accepted, and then trying a course or two. If being there proves that it is a solid opportunity, great and continue. If not, at least I tried and can put on my resume that I took a couple of graduate courses. She is a very different person from me. I more of a Type A who is always trying to prove something while she is laid back.

Too bad there isn't an option C: a husband who can cope with not getting his own way.

I've been checking back at this thread to see if you'd answered the questions of

A) is your daughter's college funded?
B) do you have a solid plan as to how to pay the bills while you're off living the life of the mind?

Since you haven't answered I'm going to assume the answer to both is "no."

[Anonymous]

OP, I really think you should be spending your time looking for a new, better job in an area that interests you. I mean, why are you staying with the sinking ship and goin back to school? Makes so sense for a man with a supposed top-flight MBA mind. If you are ambitious, get a job you will love now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back. Wife and I had a long talk. She knows the current job is an immense source of frustration - tired of the upper senior management threatening all of our jobs. And I will admit, it is the catalyst for thinking about graduate school. If the job was going fantastically, this probably would not have come up. But reality is what it is. For me, I tend to be highly self-reflective. And because of this work situation, I am pondering different decisions - would my life have been different if I went away and graduated from a prestigious school? What if I had taken another job? Did I do my due diligence for this position? Nobody can go back in time, but we can learn from mistakes and try not to repeat them.

My wife also mentioned something else. She said, "you have an MBA from a better business school with lots of successful graduates, a license that is hard to get and respected, if that is not enough, what is for you"? I see her points. But at the same time, I really want to move my career in a different direction and leverage new learning with my other experiences. I really do not want to wake up in ten years doing the same things I am doing today. That is where this graduate program comes in. At the least, I am going to get a bigger network.

What it came down to is, my wife is not crazy about the idea but sees that it has merit vs. a husband who is either going to be miserable with stress or die from it. So we are working through this idea: me taking the GRE in a couple of months, hopefully getting accepted, and then trying a course or two. If being there proves that it is a solid opportunity, great and continue. If not, at least I tried and can put on my resume that I took a couple of graduate courses. She is a very different person from me. I more of a Type A who is always trying to prove something while she is laid back.

Too bad there isn't an option C: a husband who can cope with not getting his own way.

I've been checking back at this thread to see if you'd answered the questions of

A) is your daughter's college funded?
B) do you have a solid plan as to how to pay the bills while you're off living the life of the mind?

Since you haven't answered I'm going to assume the answer to both is "no."

A) I mentioned earlier that my child is staying local for the first year, which saves money. By then I will be out of the program anyway. We already decided that her school would be paid with part contributions from us and part student loans.
B) in my field, I can consult with flexible hours to pay the bills. We live relatively inexpensively.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I really think you should be spending your time looking for a new, better job in an area that interests you. I mean, why are you staying with the sinking ship and goin back to school? Makes so sense for a man with a supposed top-flight MBA mind. If you are ambitious, get a job you will love now.

An MBA is not the ticket it once was. I can introduce you to Harvard and Wharton MBAs not working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back. Wife and I had a long talk. She knows the current job is an immense source of frustration - tired of the upper senior management threatening all of our jobs. And I will admit, it is the catalyst for thinking about graduate school. If the job was going fantastically, this probably would not have come up. But reality is what it is. For me, I tend to be highly self-reflective. And because of this work situation, I am pondering different decisions - would my life have been different if I went away and graduated from a prestigious school? What if I had taken another job? Did I do my due diligence for this position? Nobody can go back in time, but we can learn from mistakes and try not to repeat them.

My wife also mentioned something else. She said, "you have an MBA from a better business school with lots of successful graduates, a license that is hard to get and respected, if that is not enough, what is for you"? I see her points. But at the same time, I really want to move my career in a different direction and leverage new learning with my other experiences. I really do not want to wake up in ten years doing the same things I am doing today. That is where this graduate program comes in. At the least, I am going to get a bigger network.

What it came down to is, my wife is not crazy about the idea but sees that it has merit vs. a husband who is either going to be miserable with stress or die from it. So we are working through this idea: me taking the GRE in a couple of months, hopefully getting accepted, and then trying a course or two. If being there proves that it is a solid opportunity, great and continue. If not, at least I tried and can put on my resume that I took a couple of graduate courses. She is a very different person from me. I more of a Type A who is always trying to prove something while she is laid back.

Too bad there isn't an option C: a husband who can cope with not getting his own way.

I've been checking back at this thread to see if you'd answered the questions of

A) is your daughter's college funded?
B) do you have a solid plan as to how to pay the bills while you're off living the life of the mind?

Since you haven't answered I'm going to assume the answer to both is "no."

A) I mentioned earlier that my child is staying local for the first year, which saves money. By then I will be out of the program anyway. We already decided that her school would be paid with part contributions from us and part student loans.
B) in my field, I can consult with flexible hours to pay the bills. We live relatively inexpensively.

So the answer is, indeed, no.

Will you take out loans for grad school? Or is that fully funded, that $48k?

I agree with the previous PP that you do have the alternative, and the choice, to cope with not returning to school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP back. Wife and I had a long talk. She knows the current job is an immense source of frustration - tired of the upper senior management threatening all of our jobs. And I will admit, it is the catalyst for thinking about graduate school. If the job was going fantastically, this probably would not have come up. But reality is what it is. For me, I tend to be highly self-reflective. And because of this work situation, I am pondering different decisions - would my life have been different if I went away and graduated from a prestigious school? What if I had taken another job? Did I do my due diligence for this position? Nobody can go back in time, but we can learn from mistakes and try not to repeat them.

My wife also mentioned something else. She said, "you have an MBA from a better business school with lots of successful graduates, a license that is hard to get and respected, if that is not enough, what is for you"? I see her points. But at the same time, I really want to move my career in a different direction and leverage new learning with my other experiences. I really do not want to wake up in ten years doing the same things I am doing today. That is where this graduate program comes in. At the least, I am going to get a bigger network.

What it came down to is, my wife is not crazy about the idea but sees that it has merit vs. a husband who is either going to be miserable with stress or die from it. So we are working through this idea: me taking the GRE in a couple of months, hopefully getting accepted, and then trying a course or two. If being there proves that it is a solid opportunity, great and continue. If not, at least I tried and can put on my resume that I took a couple of graduate courses. She is a very different person from me. I more of a Type A who is always trying to prove something while she is laid back.

I am younger and have been in the same position thinking the same thing (even thinking about going back and having the college experience thing like you talked about).

You don't need school.

You need a career coach and likely a therapist to help you build up your confidence to move on and forward.

You have enough education that at this point you can already use the degrees and work experience you have to parlay into another career.

You have to learn to sell your experience and education and make connections and parlay that into how it would be effective into your new desired job even when the connection might seem weak. Talk and network right now with those in your desired field. Look for alumni contacts from the schools you did graduate from and just the general social circle you have.

[Anonymous]

Trust me, your experience as an older college student isn't going to be what you expect. Nor will it provide you with significant networking experience---either your fellow students will be much younger or they will be also-rans moving on from a failed career: not exactly the persons with whom you would wish to network. Save your cash. Quit digging worms instead of fishing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Trust me, your experience as an older college student isn't going to be what you expect. Nor will it provide you with significant networking experience---either your fellow students will be much younger or they will be also-rans moving on from a failed career: not exactly the persons with whom you would wish to network. Save your cash. Quit digging worms instead of fishing.

+1