Wife says I should not go back to school. Agree?

[Anonymous]

If you are actively involved with your high schooler as far as transportation, homework, meals, or something else, I could understand your wife's concern.

If your increased absence would be largely invisible to your high schooler, then I do not understand her objection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His money is not his wife's money unless he chooses to share it. If she divorces him, some of his money may become her money but not as much as you think.

Really? Where did it say that his wife isn't working? Where does it say that they don't have a joint checking account? Where does it say that OP and his wife subscribe to the philosophy that each partner retains exclusive rights to any and all money they bring into the marriage? You're making some assumptions here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did I miss the post where OP actually responded about whether his daughter's college education was funded? I think that's a big one, especially when making a huge financial decision that impacts the family.

You didn't miss anything. OP is answering other questions, but not this one.

I don't see that OP is factoring his family's needs into this at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did I miss the post where OP actually responded about whether his daughter's college education was funded? I think that's a big one, especially when making a huge financial decision that impacts the family.

You didn't miss anything. OP is answering other questions, but not this one.

I don't see that OP is factoring his family's needs into this at all.

+1

It actually doesn't look like this is about needs at all. It's pretty clear that OP doesn't "need" this degree to advance in his career. He's looking for validation to pursue a $48K vanity project.

[Anonymous]

Eh, I dunno, I have an MA and a PhD and I have periodically thought about getting an MBA. Every time I look at it, though, it doesn't seem worth it from the standpoint of return on a considerable investment in time and money.

By the way, I did not have my act together in undergrad, and after several school-switches, I got a BA from a non-prestigious state university. But you know what? NOBODY CARES! The only time anyone has ever sneered at my undergrad school was the first week of grad school, when some guy who was also fresh out of undergrad said something about it. (My response was that the grad school admissions committee obviously viewed his expensive private school degree and my cheap state school degree as having exactly equal value.) In the working world, nobody has ever said anything about it, ever. I see plenty of senior people in my company with degrees from no-name schools. Everything they felt they had to prove, they proved in the workplace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His money is not his wife's money unless he chooses to share it. If she divorces him, some of his money may become her money but not as much as you think.

Really? Where did it say that his wife isn't working? Where does it say that they don't have a joint checking account? Where does it say that OP and his wife subscribe to the philosophy that each partner retains exclusive rights to any and all money they bring into the marriage? You're making some assumptions here.

Yes, really. His money is not her money and her money is not his money.. Unless they choose to share it.

I did not say the HHI is not her money.

He can choose to share it... Like a joint bank account but that is a choice. He has no legal obligation to do this.

Does she work? Did he answer that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His money is not his wife's money unless he chooses to share it. If she divorces him, some of his money may become her money but not as much as you think.

Really? Where did it say that his wife isn't working? Where does it say that they don't have a joint checking account? Where does it say that OP and his wife subscribe to the philosophy that each partner retains exclusive rights to any and all money they bring into the marriage? You're making some assumptions here.

Yes, really. His money is not her money and her money is not his money.. Unless they choose to share it.

I did not say the HHI is not her money.

He can choose to share it... Like a joint bank account but that is a choice. He has no legal obligation to do this.

Does she work? Did he answer that?

How about "do you have a joint bank account or otherwise share income with your wife?" Because he didn't answer that either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His money is not his wife's money unless he chooses to share it. If she divorces him, some of his money may become her money but not as much as you think.

Really? Where did it say that his wife isn't working? Where does it say that they don't have a joint checking account? Where does it say that OP and his wife subscribe to the philosophy that each partner retains exclusive rights to any and all money they bring into the marriage? You're making some assumptions here.

Yes, really. His money is not her money and her money is not his money.. Unless they choose to share it.

I did not say the HHI is not her money.

He can choose to share it... Like a joint bank account but that is a choice. He has no legal obligation to do this.

Does she work? Did he answer that?

In my house/marriage, there is no "his money" and "my money." All money is our money. So there is no such thing as "choose to share." It is just ours.

We don't know what OP's financial arrangements are. So, saying "his money is not her money" is inaccurate, unless OP clarifies that indeed, that is how it works in his house.

[Anonymous]

You should do what your wife tells you to do because according to this forum, you are too lame brained to make your own life decisions.

Go forth and big home the bacon son. Mother has some cooking that needs outsourcing.

[Anonymous]

This is going to be an unpopular opinion, but what the hell. You propose spending $48K to get an executive graduate degree from a prestigious university -- one that will likely not be viewed in the same way as a traditional graduate degree. Your primary motivation appears to be a "chip on your shoulder" about your undergraduate education.

I think I would spend some of that money on therapy to figure out why these even matters to you. Because at this age most of us don't care all that much about where we got our BA. I'd try to unravel that stuff first, but that's just me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have one child left at home, who is going to HS. I am very interested in going back to school for a graduate program. I would start PT, but it is a long drive to campus and the program does require project work. So figure one night a week with class followed by group meetings and probably a couple of Saturdays during the term. Plus studying during the week, which I would try to do before work and on my lunch hour. Couple of reasons I want to go back. First, I am very interested in learning the material in the program. Second, it is at a very good university and quite frankly, I would like a degree from this institution. I did not have my act together when picking an undergrad school and at some level, have something I want to prove.

My wife says the #1 concern should be getting our child through the last few years of HS and that graduate school should wait. I am not getting any younger and if the program is going to take me 2-3 years and I tack on the years of HS left, that is a long time before I would get the degree and use it in my career.

So what is your opinion? What would you do if your husband wanted to do this? What else should I consider in my decision-making process?

I encouraged my DH to go back for his JD even though we were both working, had two kids and I was pregnant with a third. It only took three years, after all. We made it work. I say go for it. Just clear the table most evenings and study side by side. It worked for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His money is not his wife's money unless he chooses to share it. If she divorces him, some of his money may become her money but not as much as you think.

Really? Where did it say that his wife isn't working? Where does it say that they don't have a joint checking account? Where does it say that OP and his wife subscribe to the philosophy that each partner retains exclusive rights to any and all money they bring into the marriage? You're making some assumptions here.

Yes, really. His money is not her money and her money is not his money.. Unless they choose to share it.

I did not say the HHI is not her money.

He can choose to share it... Like a joint bank account but that is a choice. He has no legal obligation to do this.

Does she work? Did he answer that?

In my house/marriage, there is no "his money" and "my money." All money is our money. So there is no such thing as "choose to share." It is just ours.

We don't know what OP's financial arrangements are. So, saying "his money is not her money" is inaccurate, unless OP clarifies that indeed, that is how it works in his house.

Under that logic, definitely go back to school because you'll increase your long term earning power for retirement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His money is not his wife's money unless he chooses to share it. If she divorces him, some of his money may become her money but not as much as you think.

Really? Where did it say that his wife isn't working? Where does it say that they don't have a joint checking account? Where does it say that OP and his wife subscribe to the philosophy that each partner retains exclusive rights to any and all money they bring into the marriage? You're making some assumptions here.

Yes, really. His money is not her money and her money is not his money.. Unless they choose to share it.

I did not say the HHI is not her money.

He can choose to share it... Like a joint bank account but that is a choice. He has no legal obligation to do this.

Does she work? Did he answer that?

In my house/marriage, there is no "his money" and "my money." All money is our money. So there is no such thing as "choose to share." It is just ours.

We don't know what OP's financial arrangements are. So, saying "his money is not her money" is inaccurate, unless OP clarifies that indeed, that is how it works in his house.

Under that logic, definitely go back to school because you'll increase your long term earning power for retirement.

What logic?

And how do we know that OP will increase his long-term earning power?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should do what your wife tells you to do because according to this forum, you are too lame brained to make your own life decisions.

Go forth and big home the bacon son. Mother has some cooking that needs outsourcing.

Aw, no more A Man's Home Is His Castle

No one is saying that. People are saying that the degree doesn't make sense from a career perspective, and, depending on OP's finances (which he isn't sharing info about) it may not make sense from a fiscal perspective. Given that, what is the reason to burden-shift onto his wife and kids? Because he's Having a Sad? Pffft. That's not a reason to spend $48K, regardless of gender.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I would do informational interviews with people in the field to see if this degree is worth the money and time. This is a big money-making deal for colleges -- convincing people they need to go back and get a masters for their careers but then it turns out to not be all that useful. If you go and talk to people out there in the field you're interested in and they think it would help you, then I would go for it. But you shouldn't spend the money at this time in your life if it isn't going to aid your career. Maybe later on.

Pp again. I should add that it's prestigious schools who are marketing their name to bring in the bucks for these masters degree. A friend of mine is finishing a masters at Georgetown in international development and she feels like it's not very helpful and that she got sucked in by the name. So be careful about falling for a prestigious name. Make sure it's something that has a real chance of helping you.

This. Find out whether the degree is really important in the field or not, let alone the prestige of the school. Sometimes it really is just a waste of money for a credential that won't help you at all.

Even if the school is a big name? Prestige by association?