Putting older kids up for adoption

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How the heck do you just give away your child like an unwanted pet? Do you have any family? How would you have liked it if you were given away like chattel?

As an adoptee, I don't look it at like that. My birth parents surrendered me for adoption when I was 2 months old. They tried but it was an unhealthy situation and they just couldn't do it. They picked out my parents from profiles at the adoption agency they used because they knew exactly what kind of family they thought I should be raised in (educated parents, older sibling, pet, etc). And my parents very much wanted me more than they wanted anything else. I had an amazing childhood and am so incredibly fortunate my birth parents were aware enough to realize they could not give me the life they thought I deserved. I can't even begin to express how eternally grateful I am to them for giving me that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How the heck do you just give away your child like an unwanted pet? Do you have any family? How would you have liked it if you were given away like chattel?

As an adoptee, I don't look it at like that. My birth parents surrendered me for adoption when I was 2 months old. They tried but it was an unhealthy situation and they just couldn't do it. They picked out my parents from profiles at the adoption agency they used because they knew exactly what kind of family they thought I should be raised in (educated parents, older sibling, pet, etc). And my parents very much wanted me more than they wanted anything else. I had an amazing childhood and am so incredibly fortunate my birth parents were aware enough to realize they could not give me the life they thought I deserved. I can't even begin to express how eternally grateful I am to them for giving me that.

This is a beautiful post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How the heck do you just give away your child like an unwanted pet? Do you have any family? How would you have liked it if you were given away like chattel?

As an adoptee, I don't look it at like that. My birth parents surrendered me for adoption when I was 2 months old. They tried but it was an unhealthy situation and they just couldn't do it. They picked out my parents from profiles at the adoption agency they used because they knew exactly what kind of family they thought I should be raised in (educated parents, older sibling, pet, etc). And my parents very much wanted me more than they wanted anything else. I had an amazing childhood and am so incredibly fortunate my birth parents were aware enough to realize they could not give me the life they thought I deserved. I can't even begin to express how eternally grateful I am to them for giving me that.

This is a beautiful post.

Thank you. People like PP or those who think adoptees are full of issues drive me insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How the heck do you just give away your child like an unwanted pet? Do you have any family? How would you have liked it if you were given away like chattel?

As an adoptee, I don't look it at like that. My birth parents surrendered me for adoption when I was 2 months old. They tried but it was an unhealthy situation and they just couldn't do it. They picked out my parents from profiles at the adoption agency they used because they knew exactly what kind of family they thought I should be raised in (educated parents, older sibling, pet, etc). And my parents very much wanted me more than they wanted anything else. I had an amazing childhood and am so incredibly fortunate my birth parents were aware enough to realize they could not give me the life they thought I deserved. I can't even begin to express how eternally grateful I am to them for giving me that.

This is a beautiful post.

Thank you. People like PP or those who think adoptees are full of issues drive me insane.

Preach it, sister.

From a fellow adoptee.

[Anonymous]

I knew a family who gave up their kids at age 4 and 7. I completley judge them. And I completely judge the a-hole who equates working mothers with that scenario.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How the heck do you just give away your child like an unwanted pet? Do you have any family? How would you have liked it if you were given away like chattel?

As an adoptee, I don't look it at like that. My birth parents surrendered me for adoption when I was 2 months old. They tried but it was an unhealthy situation and they just couldn't do it. They picked out my parents from profiles at the adoption agency they used because they knew exactly what kind of family they thought I should be raised in (educated parents, older sibling, pet, etc). And my parents very much wanted me more than they wanted anything else. I had an amazing childhood and am so incredibly fortunate my birth parents were aware enough to realize they could not give me the life they thought I deserved. I can't even begin to express how eternally grateful I am to them for giving me that.

I'm incredibly pro-adoption where it is needed and I actually used to have a job where part of my job was reading adoption applications.

That said, I can't just give a blanket "Yes, adoption is great OP, go for it" without knowing OP's situations. It sounds like your parents were very thoughtful and caring about it, and did what they thought was best. We have zero info from OP about her or someone else's situation. We don't know if these are parents in dire straights of some kind, or spoiled selfish middle/upper class folks who could provide for a child but realized that a baby isn't the cute accessory they thought it was. I have seriously encountered both types of people. And I would judge the 2nd type, but I totally understand and support the first type.

The other concern is whether OP or the people OP is talking about are just overwhelmed the way so many parents are, yet don't understand it's common and they're fine. It's very common for new parents, especially first time parents, to totally freak out and feel like they are not capable of caring for a baby and worry they'll hurt it. It is so common and anyone who feels that way should get the advice of their Ped or their own doctor to see if there's a real concern there, or just regular new parent freaking out.

It matters why someone wants to do this. So glad you had such a good experience... really want to make sure though in this case it's not a totally fine parent freaking out, or a selfish crummy parent being "inconvenienced" (although, honestly, if that kid was adopted by a loving excited parent/parents, they'd probably be better off without the selfish "babies as status symbols" parents!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How the heck do you just give away your child like an unwanted pet? Do you have any family? How would you have liked it if you were given away like chattel?

As an adoptee, I don't look it at like that. My birth parents surrendered me for adoption when I was 2 months old. They tried but it was an unhealthy situation and they just couldn't do it. They picked out my parents from profiles at the adoption agency they used because they knew exactly what kind of family they thought I should be raised in (educated parents, older sibling, pet, etc). And my parents very much wanted me more than they wanted anything else. I had an amazing childhood and am so incredibly fortunate my birth parents were aware enough to realize they could not give me the life they thought I deserved. I can't even begin to express how eternally grateful I am to them for giving me that.

This is a beautiful post.

Thank you. People like PP or those who think adoptees are full of issues drive me insane.

Adoption can be a wonderful thing...I just adopted a baby girl =)

Preach it, sister.

From a fellow adoptee.

[Anonymous]

I was adopted at 3 months after being placed in foster care following birth.im glad my parents adopted me and I hope my bio "mom" rots in hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was adopted at 3 months after being placed in foster care following birth.im glad my parents adopted me and I hope my bio "mom" rots in hell.

Without your bio "mom," you would not be here and be placed in the lives of your wonderful family that cares and loves you. Please try to change your attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was adopted at 3 months after being placed in foster care following birth.im glad my parents adopted me and I hope my bio "mom" rots in hell.

Honestly OP, if your bio mom was so badly off that you were removed from her (due to her abuse of you or neglect), then trust me, as evil as she may have been... she is living in a rotting hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was adopted at 3 months after being placed in foster care following birth.im glad my parents adopted me and I hope my bio "mom" rots in hell.

Honestly OP, if your bio mom was so badly off that you were removed from her (due to her abuse of you or neglect), then trust me, as evil as she may have been... she is living in a rotting hell.

And I'm very very happy for you that you got out. You're one of the lucky ones, if I may say that. I'm glad your foster family/forever family were good to you. That's not always the case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was adopted at 3 months after being placed in foster care following birth.im glad my parents adopted me and I hope my bio "mom" rots in hell.

Honestly OP, if your bio mom was so badly off that you were removed from her (due to her abuse of you or neglect), then trust me, as evil as she may have been... she is living in a rotting hell.

Voluntary surrender. She asked to be knocked out for the delivery and never saw or held me. Apparently she then became too busy to sign the papers because after a year they finally terminated her parental rights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How the heck do you just give away your child like an unwanted pet? Do you have any family? How would you have liked it if you were given away like chattel?

As an adoptee, I don't look it at like that. My birth parents surrendered me for adoption when I was 2 months old. They tried but it was an unhealthy situation and they just couldn't do it. They picked out my parents from profiles at the adoption agency they used because they knew exactly what kind of family they thought I should be raised in (educated parents, older sibling, pet, etc). And my parents very much wanted me more than they wanted anything else. I had an amazing childhood and am so incredibly fortunate my birth parents were aware enough to realize they could not give me the life they thought I deserved. I can't even begin to express how eternally grateful I am to them for giving me that.

This is a beautiful post.

+1. As a close relative of someone considering placing their child up for adoption, this is very comforting. I am so conflicted and sometimes feel like it's selfish. In reality, it's more selfless. So glad it worked out for you and that you ended up with great parents. Thank you for sharing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was adopted at 3 months after being placed in foster care following birth.im glad my parents adopted me and I hope my bio "mom" rots in hell.

Honestly OP, if your bio mom was so badly off that you were removed from her (due to her abuse of you or neglect), then trust me, as evil as she may have been... she is living in a rotting hell.

Voluntary surrender. She asked to be knocked out for the delivery and never saw or held me. Apparently she then became too busy to sign the papers because after a year they finally terminated her parental rights.

How sad for you PP. I'm sorry you have such heartbreak.

[Anonymous]

Please don't do this OP.