Reply to Putting older kids up for adoption

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How the heck do you just give away your child like an unwanted pet?  Do you have any family?   How would you have liked it if you were given away like chattel?[/quote]

As an adoptee, I don't look it at like that.  My birth parents surrendered me for adoption when I was 2 months old.  They tried but it was an unhealthy situation and they just couldn't do it.   They picked out my parents  from profiles at the adoption agency they used because they knew exactly what kind of family they thought I should be raised in (educated parents, older sibling, pet, etc).  And my parents very much wanted me more than they wanted anything else.  I had an amazing childhood and am so incredibly fortunate my birth parents were aware enough to realize they could not give me the life they thought I deserved.  I can't even begin to express how eternally grateful I am to them for giving me that. [/quote]

I'm incredibly pro-adoption where it is needed and I actually used to have a job where part of my job was reading adoption applications.

That said, I can't just give a blanket "Yes, adoption is great OP, go for it" without knowing OP's situations.  It sounds like your parents were very thoughtful and caring about it, and did what they thought was best.  We have zero info from OP about her or someone else's situation.  We don't know if these are parents in dire straights of some kind, or spoiled selfish middle/upper class folks who could provide for a child but realized that a baby isn't the cute accessory they thought it was.  I have seriously encountered both types of people.  And I would judge the 2nd type, but I totally understand and support the first type.

The other concern is whether OP or the people OP is talking about are just overwhelmed the way so many parents are, yet don't understand it's common and they're fine.  It's very common for new parents, especially first time parents, to totally freak out and feel like they are not capable of caring for a baby and worry they'll hurt it.  It is so common and anyone who feels that way should get the advice of their Ped or their own doctor to see if there's a real concern there, or just regular new parent freaking out.

It matters why someone wants to do this.  So glad you had such a good experience... really want to make sure though in this case it's not a totally fine parent freaking out, or a selfish crummy parent being "inconvenienced" (although, honestly, if that kid was adopted by a loving excited parent/parents, they'd probably be better off without the selfish "babies as status symbols" parents!)[/quote]

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