Do you wish you'd had kids earlier?

[Anonymous]

We started ttc when I was 27, but it took us a few years to actually conceive. I don't think I was ready any earlier than that.

[Anonymous]

I feel like quite the odd ball for having my first at (just barely) 28. I met DH at 19 though, married him at 22, was done with grad school by 26, and we had a half dozen really solid international vacations under our belt at that point. We own a house, 2 cars, have a savings account. I wanted to wait, but I'm not sure what I wanted to wait for. I guess just not feeling like I was being judged for being "too young" anymore.

I have a feeling if I lived anywhere else, I wouldn't have had a problem with it. It's the DC mentality of 45 being more normal than 25 to have a kid that threw me for a loop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish I had started in my mid-30s. I had my first at 40 and just have the one, whereas I wish we'd had two.

Yep, me, too. Met my husband later in life though, what can you do?

[Anonymous]

I see why women have kids in their 20s. I'm 35 with 1st DS and I'm tired. I think 27 or 28 would be good for the first one.

[Anonymous]

No. One at 35 and 39. My career is in a great place and I have a good salary and flexibility, which it took me a long time to earn. This is probably the biggest advantage for me personally. We are financially comfortable, I have plenty of energy, and my husband and I did all the things we wanted before kids. Lots of travel and time to ourselves. Wouldn't change a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like quite the odd ball for having my first at (just barely) 28. I met DH at 19 though, married him at 22, was done with grad school by 26, and we had a half dozen really solid international vacations under our belt at that point. We own a house, 2 cars, have a savings account. I wanted to wait, but I'm not sure what I wanted to wait for. I guess just not feeling like I was being judged for being "too young" anymore.

I have a feeling if I lived anywhere else, I wouldn't have had a problem with it. It's the DC mentality of 45 being more normal than 25 to have a kid that threw me for a loop.

OP here. I feel like I'm in this exact situation. I'm 28, but met my DH right out of college and we've been married for several years.

I get push back from everyone outside of DC on why we don't have kids, but everyone in DC thinks we are WAY too young. It's definitely a different mentality and I hate how I feel pulled between the two sentiments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like quite the odd ball for having my first at (just barely) 28. I met DH at 19 though, married him at 22, was done with grad school by 26, and we had a half dozen really solid international vacations under our belt at that point. We own a house, 2 cars, have a savings account. I wanted to wait, but I'm not sure what I wanted to wait for. I guess just not feeling like I was being judged for being "too young" anymore.

I have a feeling if I lived anywhere else, I wouldn't have had a problem with it. It's the DC mentality of 45 being more normal than 25 to have a kid that threw me for a loop.

OP here. I feel like I'm in this exact situation. I'm 28, but met my DH right out of college and we've been married for several years.

I get push back from everyone outside of DC on why we don't have kids, but everyone in DC thinks we are WAY too young. It's definitely a different mentality and I hate how I feel pulled between the two sentiments.

Do what's right for you! What works for you might not work for others and vice versa. It's a personal decision. I had my kids young, and I am glad I did. I have many older friends who are fine with their decision, too.

[Anonymous]

I had my first at 42 and second at 44. Thirties would have been great. Twenties, no way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Before 30? Not really. But early 30s, yes. We waited until I was 36 and parenting has been exhausting for us. Probably stopping at 1 because I won't feel ready for another one until dc is 3 or 4, but I will be too old then ... Wish I had started at 32 or so!

Exactly the same for me!

[Anonymous]

I didn't meet my husband until I was 31. I'm really glad that I didn't have kids with the idiots I dated before I found my husband. We had our kids when I was 35 and 37. Do I wish we had them earlier? No, I think our timing worked out okay. My answer would probably be different if I had met my husband sooner.

[Anonymous]

No, had them at the perfect time, post travel, post grad school, and seven years into my career so have tons if flexibility and decent salary. Had first at 35. Most importantly had them with DH!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like quite the odd ball for having my first at (just barely) 28. I met DH at 19 though, married him at 22, was done with grad school by 26, and we had a half dozen really solid international vacations under our belt at that point. We own a house, 2 cars, have a savings account. I wanted to wait, but I'm not sure what I wanted to wait for. I guess just not feeling like I was being judged for being "too young" anymore.

I have a feeling if I lived anywhere else, I wouldn't have had a problem with it. It's the DC mentality of 45 being more normal than 25 to have a kid that threw me for a loop.

OP here. I feel like I'm in this exact situation. I'm 28, but met my DH right out of college and we've been married for several years.

I get push back from everyone outside of DC on why we don't have kids, but everyone in DC thinks we are WAY too young. It's definitely a different mentality and I hate how I feel pulled between the two sentiments.

PP here, I was the first amongst most of my friends to get married, but only felt ready to have kids several years later, despite the push from family. Do it when you feel ready. If that's now, go for it!

[Anonymous]

Yes, had first and second at 31, third at 35.
Would have loved to have them at 28 and 30.

[Anonymous]

Love when I had my kids...twins at 24 and singleton at 28, both pregnancies as the result of fertility treatment. By then I'd graduated from college, had a successful career (my DH and I run a business), and we'd been together for four years.

Now I'm 44, and our older kids are college sophomores and our youngest is a HS sophomore. We're still young enough to travel and have fun (DH is 50), and we're very secure financially. I realize I'm very lucky...I always wanted to have all of my kids before age 30.

[Anonymous]

I'm kind of the opposite.. had my first at 25 and now pregnant with my second at 27. I met my husband at 22 and I was married at 24. He is 10 years older and we were both ready for kids... we traveled extensively in the first 3 years we were together, bought a house, and have moved up the career chain nicely (surprising given my age, but doing well- certainly higher for him) and I definitely thought we were ready for kids. We were and he is the love our lives and we can't wait to meet his sibling later this year, but there are days when I wonder what the rush was. A lot of my friends are just now finishing up grad school, starting careers, living exciting places, just getting engaged and I'm on baby #2. Most of the times these thoughts are at 2am when the entire house is up. I do think the PP hit the nail on the head... we are looking forward to being young enough to travel and have fun (god willing) when the kids are grown and we'll be that much more financially secure.