How to find fellow introverts

[Anonymous]

OP here, some of the latest responses are applicable for shy folks and not introverts. As one of the PPs responded, shy and introvert are two different things. I am not shy. My management job requires me to be talking the entire day, many times to complete strangers. I do small talk with strangers/neighbors on the street and school. And I can haul myself to a party, put a smile on my face and go on talking to random people for hours. I have done this multiple times before on various meetup groups/work parties/block parties etc.

The only problem is that it is not my idea of quality time, I do not enjoy it greatly and if given a choice I would not attend the random party voluntarily. I think it is more trouble/nuisance than it is worth.

The only reason I said I am looking for an introvert is because they will most likely have the time/energy/willingness for more private, quiet and low key activities, but I do agree it also depends to a large extent on how well you click and the mutual interests shared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do introverts only need to hang out with other introverts?

As an introvert this is what I am wondering too. Why seek introverts specifically? And as an introvert, do you really think introverts will reach out and respond? As an introvert, you should know that small talk with complete strangers would be definition of hell for most of us. Agree with book club recommendation or reaching out to friends intro/extroverts alike and the 1:1 suggestion

I think people are confused about what "introvert" means. Being introverted doesn't mean you are shy. Those are two very different things. Sometimes they both occur together, sometimes not.

I'm DEFINITELY an introvert, but I'm not shy. And I don't consider small talk with complete strangers hell. I'm perfectly capable of meeting and talking to people.

Having social anxiety isn't a default characteristic of introverts. I think often people who want to be extraverts think they are introverts because they have social anxiety. Treat the social anxiety, and they prefer to do more extraverted activities. So that tells me they aren't really introverts.

+1
Introversion is a mix of several things, most most notably gregariousness and assertiveness. Those two tend to go together but are two distinct things. I am very assertive but not at all gregarious. You can learn more about it if you google big five.

[Anonymous]

I'm another introvert who wishes for more local close friends. I'm also not shy, and can talk to anyone.

The one thing introverts have in common is that we recharge our batteries on our own, and drain our batteries by being with other people, no matter how much we enjoy their company.

It's easy to meet extroverts, but as friends, they can be high maintenance, expecting you to go out more and do more. Fellow introverts don't expect you to always be raring to get together or go out.

Maybe we need to organize Introvert Meet-Ups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm another introvert who wishes for more local close friends. I'm also not shy, and can talk to anyone.

The one thing introverts have in common is that we recharge our batteries on our own, and drain our batteries by being with other people, no matter how much we enjoy their company.

It's easy to meet extroverts, but as friends, they can be high maintenance, expecting you to go out more and do more. Fellow introverts don't expect you to always be raring to get together or go out.

Maybe we need to organize Introvert Meet-Ups.

[Anonymous]

The answer you seek is within

[Anonymous]

I'm an extrovert, but have two very deep relationship friendships with two women. Even an extrovert needs deep bonds. We just luckily have a large pool to choose from. Deep friendships happen organically. Its impossible to "find" a friend when looking.

Unfortunately for you OP, you are judgemental and sterotype horribly. Good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find your post off putting. You assume your more extroverted friends are not capable of these deeper conversations? Have you invited one of your friends for coffee and conversation?

You don't have to be an introvert to enjoy good conversation.

You may think that, but you'd be surprised. I know exactly what OP means. I've invited "extroverts" to one on one lunches and had them say things like, "great, Tuesday does work for me! I'll call so and so and so and so, too, and see if they can join us, since it's been so long since we've all gotten together!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an extrovert, but have two very deep relationship friendships with two women. Even an extrovert needs deep bonds. We just luckily have a large pool to choose from. Deep friendships happen organically. Its impossible to "find" a friend when looking.

Unfortunately for you OP, you are judgemental and sterotype horribly. Good luck with that.

-1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, some of the latest responses are applicable for shy folks and not introverts. As one of the PPs responded, shy and introvert are two different things. I am not shy. My management job requires me to be talking the entire day, many times to complete strangers. I do small talk with strangers/neighbors on the street and school. And I can haul myself to a party, put a smile on my face and go on talking to random people for hours. I have done this multiple times before on various meetup groups/work parties/block parties etc.

The only problem is that it is not my idea of quality time, I do not enjoy it greatly and if given a choice I would not attend the random party voluntarily. I think it is more trouble/nuisance than it is worth.

The only reason I said I am looking for an introvert is because they will most likely have the time/energy/willingness for more private, quiet and low key activities, but I do agree it also depends to a large extent on how well you click and the mutual interests shared.

OP, I wish I knew you. This is EXACTLY how I feel!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, some of the latest responses are applicable for shy folks and not introverts. As one of the PPs responded, shy and introvert are two different things. I am not shy. My management job requires me to be talking the entire day, many times to complete strangers. I do small talk with strangers/neighbors on the street and school. And I can haul myself to a party, put a smile on my face and go on talking to random people for hours. I have done this multiple times before on various meetup groups/work parties/block parties etc.

The only problem is that it is not my idea of quality time, I do not enjoy it greatly and if given a choice I would not attend the random party voluntarily. I think it is more trouble/nuisance than it is worth.

The only reason I said I am looking for an introvert is because they will most likely have the time/energy/willingness for more private, quiet and low key activities, but I do agree it also depends to a large extent on how well you click and the mutual interests shared.

OP, I wish I knew you. This is EXACTLY how I feel!

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, some of the latest responses are applicable for shy folks and not introverts. As one of the PPs responded, shy and introvert are two different things. I am not shy. My management job requires me to be talking the entire day, many times to complete strangers. I do small talk with strangers/neighbors on the street and school. And I can haul myself to a party, put a smile on my face and go on talking to random people for hours. I have done this multiple times before on various meetup groups/work parties/block parties etc.

The only problem is that it is not my idea of quality time, I do not enjoy it greatly and if given a choice I would not attend the random party voluntarily. I think it is more trouble/nuisance than it is worth.

The only reason I said I am looking for an introvert is because they will most likely have the time/energy/willingness for more private, quiet and low key activities, but I do agree it also depends to a large extent on how well you click and the mutual interests shared.

I'm the PP who said shy and introverted are different, and I agree.

I do also think that there are things that are difficult for introverts and extroverts to get about each other. In the past, when I've had friends who are extraverts, I always got the feeling they felt sorry for me because I didn't go "out" as much, and they were always trying to get me to do things. They assumed I didn't go out because I was shy or self-conscious, and they just could not comprehend that I just don't enjoy the same type of activity that they enjoy. So then I felt like I had to prove to them that I'm not a social idiot and can function at parties or events, and I'd agree to go to things I really didn't enjoy. It got tiresome.

I've also had experiences where people say they are introverts, but they are really extraverts who *are* self-conscious. They want to go out. They want to go to parties, bars, clubs, events. They want to host parties and entertain. But they feel anxiety about it. That's a different animal. And those people aren't necessarily a good match for introverts either, because there is a sense that they are settling -- that they would always much rather be doing something else, but they feel they can't, so they'll do the low-key things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, some of the latest responses are applicable for shy folks and not introverts. As one of the PPs responded, shy and introvert are two different things. I am not shy. My management job requires me to be talking the entire day, many times to complete strangers. I do small talk with strangers/neighbors on the street and school. And I can haul myself to a party, put a smile on my face and go on talking to random people for hours. I have done this multiple times before on various meetup groups/work parties/block parties etc.

The only problem is that it is not my idea of quality time, I do not enjoy it greatly and if given a choice I would not attend the random party voluntarily. I think it is more trouble/nuisance than it is worth.

The only reason I said I am looking for an introvert is because they will most likely have the time/energy/willingness for more private, quiet and low key activities, but I do agree it also depends to a large extent on how well you click and the mutual interests shared.

OP, I wish I knew you. This is EXACTLY how I feel!

But you never willl!!! Bwahahahahaha!

[Anonymous]

We're all introverts. It's just that some people fake it better than others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an introvert, too, and I'm so lonely for female friends. I have no idea how to meet them. Probably need to get over my shyness and join a book club or something. It's hard.

Here you go OP, a friend!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, some of the latest responses are applicable for shy folks and not introverts. As one of the PPs responded, shy and introvert are two different things. I am not shy. My management job requires me to be talking the entire day, many times to complete strangers. I do small talk with strangers/neighbors on the street and school. And I can haul myself to a party, put a smile on my face and go on talking to random people for hours. I have done this multiple times before on various meetup groups/work parties/block parties etc.

The only problem is that it is not my idea of quality time, I do not enjoy it greatly and if given a choice I would not attend the random party voluntarily. I think it is more trouble/nuisance than it is worth.

The only reason I said I am looking for an introvert is because they will most likely have the time/energy/willingness for more private, quiet and low key activities, but I do agree it also depends to a large extent on how well you click and the mutual interests shared.

OP, I wish I knew you. This is EXACTLY how I feel!

+1

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