How to find fellow introverts

[Anonymous]

DH, DC and I are very introverted and are happy hanging out as a family on evenings/weekends/holidays after school and work.

But sometimes I miss the deep connections I had with girl friends back in school and college days.
How can I find fellow introverts who will be available to meet for coffee/dinner and share feelings/fears and all the big and small things of life. I dont have any trouble meeting people but most of them are into party/facebook/meetups/group events and seem to have a really large group of friends and no time for one on one private conversations. As an introvert, planning for and attending these group events exhaust me, and I really find no value in these but I would enjoy private conversations with a small set of like minded folks who will be long term friends.

There is probably no real one answer to my question, but curious what other introverts do to make and maintain close friendships in this extroverted world.

[Anonymous]

Just ask your friends to lunch or to go omm some outing with you...

[Anonymous]

Grad school

[Anonymous]

Join a book club.

[Anonymous]

I think reaching out to friends introvert or not will help. Spend time with women you like 1:1. You'll develop a deeper friendship that will probably work for you.

[Anonymous]

I find your post off putting. You assume your more extroverted friends are not capable of these deeper conversations? Have you invited one of your friends for coffee and conversation?

You don't have to be an introvert to enjoy good conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find your post off putting. You assume your more extroverted friends are not capable of these deeper conversations? Have you invited one of your friends for coffee and conversation?

You don't have to be an introvert to enjoy good conversation.

Don't take it personally. An extrovert will never "get" an introvert.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH, DC and I are very introverted and are happy hanging out as a family on evenings/weekends/holidays after school and work.

But sometimes I miss the deep connections I had with girl friends back in school and college days.
How can I find fellow introverts who will be available to meet for coffee/dinner and share feelings/fears and all the big and small things of life. I dont have any trouble meeting people but most of them are into party/facebook/meetups/group events and seem to have a really large group of friends and no time for one on one private conversations. As an introvert, planning for and attending these group events exhaust me, and I really find no value in these but I would enjoy private conversations with a small set of like minded folks who will be long term friends.

There is probably no real one answer to my question, but curious what other introverts do to make and maintain close friendships in this extroverted world.

I don't know the answer, but I wanted to say I'm in the same boat. Put yourself out there by getting involved in something (art or cooking class, book club, volunteering) and hopefully you will eventually meet someone like you. It's hard because someone will have to make the first move to get involved outside of that activity, and it might have to be you. I've lived here 3 years and only have 1 close friend in DC outside of my husband. The other friends I made all moved away! It's exhausting to keep finding new ones, so I'm not really focused on it anymore.

[Anonymous]

I'm just the same way, OP.

[Anonymous]

Why do introverts only need to hang out with other introverts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find your post off putting. You assume your more extroverted friends are not capable of these deeper conversations? Have you invited one of your friends for coffee and conversation?

You don't have to be an introvert to enjoy good conversation.

perhaps. but then the extrovert will get busy with her numerous social engagements and won't have time for another "good conversation" in a long time. nothing wrong with that, but it's much easier to form friendships with other introverts.

[Anonymous]

I'm an introvert, too, and I'm so lonely for female friends. I have no idea how to meet them. Probably need to get over my shyness and join a book club or something. It's hard.

[Anonymous]

OP, try reaching out to friends who share your interests. I'm a mild extrovert -- I love small gatherings and the occasional big bash -- but I have two close friends who are true introverts, and I really enjoy one-on-one conversation with them. In both cases we see each other regularly (either at book group or in church), and, when we do, we make plans to get together around activities we both enjoy. So, one is my frequent walking partner, and the other is my go-to friend for indie movies. I'll note that it's easier for us to spend time together because our kids are in high school. If your kids are younger, it's going to be toughter to find that one-on-one time with friends, so you might want to try to organize small group gatherings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find your post off putting. You assume your more extroverted friends are not capable of these deeper conversations? Have you invited one of your friends for coffee and conversation?

You don't have to be an introvert to enjoy good conversation.

Don't take it personally. An extrovert will never "get" an introvert.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do introverts only need to hang out with other introverts?

Because extroverts often start out doing small or one-on-one type get togethers, but they quickly long for crowds and loud excitement which is too overstimulating for quiet introverts. Size matters