African American boy at at top three: private thoughts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This is his second year. There are not very many of us minority DCs and parents so I am being careful. No need to make it worse when I cannot replace the school with one like it. I was hoping that things would be better this year. School has started. So far, not seeing an improvement. Other parents are careful with our information as we organize for yet another year. But he feeling of dread is palpable. We were hesitant to re enroll last spring, but we did it for the reasons in my original post.

Well, although the OP said her child was at a "Big 3," school has NOT yet started at Beauvoir, St. Albans, GDS, Maret, or Sidwell. (For that matter, school also has not yet started at Landon, Potomac, or Bullis.) So this is another reason I find the posts dubious.

Why would she need to make this up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This is his second year. There are not very many of us minority DCs and parents so I am being careful. No need to make it worse when I cannot replace the school with one like it. I was hoping that things would be better this year. School has started. So far, not seeing an improvement. Other parents are careful with our information as we organize for yet another year. But he feeling of dread is palpable. We were hesitant to re enroll last spring, but we did it for the reasons in my original post.

Well, although the OP said her child was at a "Big 3," school has NOT yet started at Beauvoir, St. Albans, GDS, Maret, or Sidwell. (For that matter, school also has not yet started at Landon, Potomac, or Bullis.) So this is another reason I find the posts dubious.

OP never said she is in DC/MD/VA. There are lots of posters not from dc

[Anonymous]

OP, I am a pp from above who also has a son (black but not AA) in a big 3 DC school. Let us know what specific issues you are facing an we can talk through them. Unless, of course, you're just venting,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This is his second year. There are not very many of us minority DCs and parents so I am being careful. No need to make it worse when I cannot replace the school with one like it. I was hoping that things would be better this year. School has started. So far, not seeing an improvement. Other parents are careful with our information as we organize for yet another year. But he feeling of dread is palpable. We were hesitant to re enroll last spring, but we did it for the reasons in my original post.

Well, although the OP said her child was at a "Big 3," school has NOT yet started at Beauvoir, St. Albans, GDS, Maret, or Sidwell. (For that matter, school also has not yet started at Landon, Potomac, or Bullis.) So this is another reason I find the posts dubious.

OP never said she is in DC/MD/VA. There are lots of posters not from dc

Then why post on the DCUM private school forum or refer to a school as top 3. School dynamics in say, Atlanta, or Minneapolis, are very different than here. Experience of posters here is probably not relevant.

[Anonymous]

Look, it's fake. First he was "recently accepted" -- now he's been there for a year. He supposedly attends a "Big 3" -- a term used pretty much only on DCUM, and one always used for a handful of independent schools in the District. She says school "has started," although none of the local privates have started classes. She used the weird phrase "humble brag" (not in context), which is a weird DCUM staple.

It was a very sloppily written fake, and now she (or he, I suppose), has been called out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, it's fake. First he was "recently accepted" -- now he's been there for a year. He supposedly attends a "Big 3" -- a term used pretty much only on DCUM, and one always used for a handful of independent schools in the District. She says school "has started," although none of the local privates have started classes. She used the weird phrase "humble brag" (not in context), which is a weird DCUM staple.

It was a very sloppily written fake, and now she (or he, I suppose), has been called out.

She never said "Big Three" which is a DVUM term. she said "a top 3 school" and her use of humble-brag is definitely in the right context. I am not the OP but I do have a black boy at a Big 3 here in DC. I am guessing OP does no live in DC because none of the big 3 schools have started yet.

OP, ignore the people that would rather believe we are in a post racial world.

[Anonymous]

Sports have started in all schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am a pp from above who also has a son (black but not AA) in a big 3 DC school. Let us know what specific issues you are facing an we can talk through them. Unless, of course, you're just venting,

Thank you. It is a funny feeling to feel fake here also. Withdrawing is a big deal and not reversible. But neither is such a negative experience for my son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sports have started in all schools.

I thought that was what she meant. OP, you're not alone. I know how you feel, unfortunately, I have no guidance. We're focusing on our exit strategy...college. I hope this year, you meet some good people.

[Anonymous]

I participate in an activity that requires me to talk to a lot of DC kids about their high school experiences. Certainly, some of the kids who are members of ethnic minorities at Big 3 schools, particularly boys, do report racism and racist remarks by classmates, so I have no doubt that this is a real post.

That said, having a segment of a school population that stigmatizes you in some way is not necessarily going to mean a disastrous high school experience. Most kids in high school aren't friends with everybody. I found that the key to a positive h.s. experience for me was having a core group of like-minded friends, encouraging teachers, and positive, in-depth extracurricular activities. If your son has that, he'll probably be fine. If he doesn't, maybe it's time to look around. If he isn't in the upper school yet, you have time to keep experimenting.

[Anonymous]

OP, Welcome to the real world. This is not the last time you will experience racism or classism. Wake up and realize that you have access to a great education and financial aid. There hundreds of millions of kids out there he would easily take your DC's place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, Welcome to the real world. This is not the last time you will experience racism or classism. Wake up and realize that you have access to a great education and financial aid. There hundreds of millions of kids out there he would easily take your DC's place.

+1. If you or your so can't handle then let it go. Why would you stay at a school if your family isn't happy. Why would you spend another year in full whine mode?

If your son likes it then you need to decide whether he stays and benefits FREE of charge and you just suck it up or LEAVE and give the opportunity to another family who really wants the spot. I have a hard time with parent(s) like you. You want it but you want it your way only. The world doesn't work like that and comes with warts and all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This is his second year. There are not very many of us minority DCs and parents so I am being careful. No need to make it worse when I cannot replace the school with one like it. I was hoping that things would be better this year. School has started. So far, not seeing an improvement. Other parents are careful with our information as we organize for yet another year. But he feeling of dread is palpable. We were hesitant to re enroll last spring, but we did it for the reasons in my original post.

THEN LEAVE IF YOU HAVE THIS FEELING OF DREAD!!! You say you can't replace the school. But I also wonder what school it is because school hasn't started yet other than one or two day orientations for rising 9th graders or new incoming students.

Oh, and you're not seeing any improvement? Apparently, there's no improvement in you either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, Welcome to the real world. This is not the last time you will experience racism or classism. Wake up and realize that you have access to a great education and financial aid. There hundreds of millions of kids out there he would easily take your DC's place.

+1. If you or your so can't handle then let it go. Why would you stay at a school if your family isn't happy. Why would you spend another year in full whine mode?

If your son likes it then you need to decide whether he stays and benefits FREE of charge and you just suck it up or LEAVE and give the opportunity to another family who really wants the spot. I have a hard time with parent(s) like you. You want it but you want it your way only. The world doesn't work like that and comes with warts and all.

FREE of charge, PP, really? OP, your son will be exposed to assholes and there's really no way to shield him from racist attitudes. You have to fortify him with confidence so that he can navigate his way through whatever school he attends. You don't have to attend cocktail parties, etc. Attend his school-related events. I know you would have pulled him end of last school year if there were better options out there.

Unhappy AA families leave my DS's school annually, the school could care less. If the environment is negatively impacting your son, if his teachers are treating him differently from his peers, if he doesn't have any friends and its just a miserable experience across the board pull him out before his self esteem is permanently damaged.

[Anonymous]

^^^OP said they are attending on scholarship so I would think that's free. If OP is teaching her son to whine and every time there is an injustice, how will he learn to cope once he gets to college and then the workplace?

If OP can't handle the environment then it's best to make the move now into an environment where she and family will be comfortable.