Please give me some perspective on this...long post warning (but interesting in a Seinfeld way)

[Anonymous]

I'm neither Jewish nor Asian but your story doesn't seem to have anything to do with race- just personality differences.

[Anonymous]

I don't get why it is relevant that these people are Jewish. What does that have to do with anything you have written other than to highlight your ignorance. Can Jews read the minds of other Jews? What is up with that assumption? How would another Jewish person know whether another Jewish person holds grudges? Is there Jewdar or something? OP, I am very disappointed in you. I really hate to throw out the "you are an anti-Semite card," but... You really are!

[Anonymous]

I think OP's post was offensive too. Assuming that the women were behaving in a certain way because they were jewish. OP, imagine if I suggested that the women were being competitive and passive aggressive because they were Asian and asked the Asian DCUMers to tell me how long they were going to keep it up. Does it not bother you that there are people who think that way?

And, as the spouse of someone who does scientific research, it does to me sound like you did something very obnoxious and not within the normal boundaries. If you were working on a paper and had full knowledge that one of your colleagues was working on the same thing and then just pushed through to get yours out faster without being open about it... that might not be against any written rules, but there are rules of honor and it sounds like you broke those. You should have been open and up front with your colleagues. Yes, there is a reason for their "passive agressiveness". They don't trust you. They don't want to share anything about what they are doing with you because you might take the information and run with it and cut them out.

If you really have published so much more then them, it would have been so much more collegial to have worked WITH them and helped them get their paper out. You didn't need it and it would have made a world of difference to them. And you would now have colleagues who would have your back.

[Anonymous]

I don't think OP is a racist. She is socially awkward and tactless, but this is how most academics are (socially awkward). Read her follow up posts: she rambles and throws in every possible detail of her life whether it is relevant or not. We now know about her abusive mother, Passover bread (I think that was an attempt to joke), Israeli mother in-law (another attempt), son who refused conversion, her research career, being Asian, being neurotic, interracial relations. Somewhere in there was a question about two women disliking OP.
OP, please revise and resubmit. The forum is pretty extensive, break up your questions and complains and make up several posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, you wrote something, put someone else's name on it without consultation and you think the problem is that your coauthors are Jewish?

The problem is you broke most rules of coauthoring and acted in a way that would certainly discourage me from ever working with you.

See my note @ 20:03. No rules broken and all is good. Possibly I'm racist - I even make jokes about Asians being bad drivers (and I am Asian). Thank you all and good night!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is a racist. She is socially awkward and tactless, but this is how most academics are (socially awkward). Read her follow up posts: she rambles and throws in every possible detail of her life whether it is relevant or not. We now know about her abusive mother, Passover bread (I think that was an attempt to joke), Israeli mother in-law (another attempt), son who refused conversion, her research career, being Asian, being neurotic, interracial relations. Somewhere in there was a question about two women disliking OP.
OP, please revise and resubmit. The forum is pretty extensive, break up your questions and complains and make up several posts.

I think OP should also be more cautious about how much info she dumps on this website. That's a lot of info about her, and some of the people on here are psychos.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think OP's post was offensive too. Assuming that the women were behaving in a certain way because they were jewish. OP, imagine if I suggested that the women were being competitive and passive aggressive because they were Asian and asked the Asian DCUMers to tell me how long they were going to keep it up. Does it not bother you that there are people who think that way?

And, as the spouse of someone who does scientific research, it does to me sound like you did something very obnoxious and not within the normal boundaries. If you were working on a paper and had full knowledge that one of your colleagues was working on the same thing and then just pushed through to get yours out faster without being open about it... that might not be against any written rules, but there are rules of honor and it sounds like you broke those. You should have been open and up front with your colleagues. Yes, there is a reason for their "passive agressiveness". They don't trust you. They don't want to share anything about what they are doing with you because you might take the information and run with it and cut them out.

If you really have published so much more then them, it would have been so much more collegial to have worked WITH them and helped them get their paper out. You didn't need it and it would have made a world of difference to them. And you would now have colleagues who would have your back.

No - the papers were not on the same topic. At all. They included the same clinical population but that was where the similarity ends. No - I didn't say I have "published so much more than them". I said I published previously. They had published 0. I have published 5. Ask your spouse if he would have held back on submitting a paper on a completely unrelated topic, just so that his colleague could publish before him, if he had 5 publications.

I do make jokes about Asians so I guess my OP and this fact together would confirm I am racist.

[Anonymous]

Oy vay! ! !

[Anonymous]

Zzzzzzzz

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why it is relevant that these people are Jewish. What does that have to do with anything you have written other than to highlight your ignorance. Can Jews read the minds of other Jews? What is up with that assumption? How would another Jewish person know whether another Jewish person holds grudges? Is there Jewdar or something? OP, I am very disappointed in you. I really hate to throw out the "you are an anti-Semite card," but... You really are!

I concur!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can see why they are upset - having their names on something means they signed off and agree with the content. Yet, they have not even see it. I don't think it has to do anything with them being Jewish. I can see how working in an unfamiliar but very homogenic/cultural environment would be uncomfortable for me too.

Ok I see I was unclear. Of course they reviewed the papers. It wasn't news that I had analyzed the data because I had already submitted an abstract, which they also reviewed. There were no issues until it was paper #2. Other person was also working on paper but taking longer, I was also involved on that. Anyway, the next step after the abstract is...writing the paper. No I don't think I have a superiority complex. I probably lack tact and am too blunt. The two colleagues have had no formal research training and had not ever published any data previously. I have - so I don't think I'm better than them - I know that I am! I mean I know objectively that I spent 5 years of my life in formal research training and I have published previously.

Anyway, I have worked it out. It's a petty nothing situation and it was upsetting only because it was a situation that made me feel the way I did as a kid with a neglectful verbally abusive mother. No, it isn't her fault either. It's me being overly sensitive about being treated in an unpleasant way (their behavior is obviously inappropriate and unprofessional, there's no getting around that), and I keep thinking if we just talk it out, we can be friends. But the truth is - my mother will never be the mother I wished for and I have to deal. So - I'm not going to try to understand and fix what is going on with these 2. Honestly from an academic point of view, I feel I have been fair. Other people in research would be happy to be included, they could care less about who got published first, as long as the # papers they have is increasing. I just haven't played the game of doing what women should be doing - making sure the personal relationship isn't negatively impacted - while trying to be productive and get ahead.

Am I racist? The bread IS bad during Passover! Even my Jewish colleagues agree - it's always the joke during Passover. And I am in touch with my son's paternal grandmother - she lives in Israel but I have arranged to have her spend time with her grandson when she visits her son (my ex). I might even travel to Israel one day with my son - she has invited us but probably better when he is older. That last line was just a joke - sheesh! (ok, she can be annoying at times but I deal with it).

Thanks everyone for helpful and snarky comments.

Not only do you lack tact, are too blunt, you screwed up at work and know it but can't admit it so you are blaming it on silly things like your Jewish work enivornment, you also can't work as a member of a team, falsely believe that you are an good writer, and worse that quantity automatcially equals quality (it doesn't). Quite frankly, you suck as a co-worker and kind of as a person.

Why don't you step back and learn from this experience? Go into work and be blunt about your screw up and admit that you need to work on your lots of skills.

[takoma]

To 23:53 and 23:55 I would add the even more relevant:

Yada yada!

[Anonymous]

Oh and by the way, my name is Larla.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Zzzzzzzz

+1