Please give me some perspective on this...long post warning (but interesting in a Seinfeld way)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh and by the way, my name is Larla.

Well, actually Larla is my nickname.

[Anonymous]

OK I see this is isn't such an interesting story. I have other issues:

I'm having a bit of trouble with a creepy neighbor. What should I do?

I'm not sure whether Oscar lunchables is healthy or not. How often do you serve?

I can't decide between naming my baby Bobus or Rerker. Thoughts????

Should I change my name to Larla or does that sound too non-Jewish?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why it is relevant that these people are Jewish. What does that have to do with anything you have written other than to highlight your ignorance. Can Jews read the minds of other Jews? What is up with that assumption? How would another Jewish person know whether another Jewish person holds grudges? Is there Jewdar or something? OP, I am very disappointed in you. I really hate to throw out the "you are an anti-Semite card," but... You really are!

that's the issue. This post could have been written minus all the Jewish references and put downs. Regardless of whether OP is right or wrong, I personally don't care bc she sounds like a racist bitch.

[Anonymous]

OP,

When you ask for advice and perspective, and then "defend" yourself (badly, it turns out) against every perspective you don't share, one of three things happens:

A) conversation gets nasty because you come off unlike able.
B) reasonable posters drift away.
C) someone calls you "Larla".

There is nothing you have said in any post that makes me think you would be a good coauthor or colleague. At a minimum, you are WAY too high maintenance for me. You clearly lack discretion.

Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

OP - Did you hit your sister around Thanksgiving last year?

Faux, faux, faux.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP's post was offensive too. Assuming that the women were behaving in a certain way because they were jewish. OP, imagine if I suggested that the women were being competitive and passive aggressive because they were Asian and asked the Asian DCUMers to tell me how long they were going to keep it up. Does it not bother you that there are people who think that way?

And, as the spouse of someone who does scientific research, it does to me sound like you did something very obnoxious and not within the normal boundaries. If you were working on a paper and had full knowledge that one of your colleagues was working on the same thing and then just pushed through to get yours out faster without being open about it... that might not be against any written rules, but there are rules of honor and it sounds like you broke those. You should have been open and up front with your colleagues. Yes, there is a reason for their "passive agressiveness". They don't trust you. They don't want to share anything about what they are doing with you because you might take the information and run with it and cut them out.

If you really have published so much more then them, it would have been so much more collegial to have worked WITH them and helped them get their paper out. You didn't need it and it would have made a world of difference to them. And you would now have colleagues who would have your back.

No - the papers were not on the same topic. At all. They included the same clinical population but that was where the similarity ends. No - I didn't say I have "published so much more than them". I said I published previously. They had published 0. I have published 5. Ask your spouse if he would have held back on submitting a paper on a completely unrelated topic, just so that his colleague could publish before him, if he had 5 publications.

I do make jokes about Asians so I guess my OP and this fact together would confirm I am racist.

You not only are an anti Semite, but you are the worst type of racist-- self-hating. You should be fired for your behavior. Yes. Fired. You are a disgusting human being, if this post is even real. It sounds like you like to goad people.

[Anonymous]

OP: I was a token in an all Jewish environment. It was not pleasant. It is not pleasant to be a token anywhere. I read your post and thought: she needs to change out of there, but is getting the issues all confused. They don't like you -- you don't like them. Even though your DH is Jewish, that is different than Orthodox. A lot different. The kosher element should have alerted you. Start looking for aother job--you are repeating your abusive mother situation by being so different than the others. Good luck. No, I do not think you are a racist. Also I get the jewish-asian thing, (several friends) but also in your rambling post I hear your Asian expressed upset. I will go a step farther and say you published the paper as a ticket out. Good for you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,

When you ask for advice and perspective, and then "defend" yourself (badly, it turns out) against every perspective you don't share, one of three things happens:

A) conversation gets nasty because you come off unlike able.
B) reasonable posters drift away.
C) someone calls you "Larla".

There is nothing you have said in any post that makes me think you would be a good coauthor or colleague. At a minimum, you are WAY too high maintenance for me. You clearly lack discretion.

Good luck to you.

So true, but you left out racist. usually the 3rd post.

[Anonymous]

Worst Seinfeld episode ever.

[Anonymous]

It's probably uncomfortable for you being the odd one out, but I have no doubt that if one of the Jewish women pissed off the group, she would get attitude.

[Anonymous]

I'm going to take a wild guess that you work at the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion (HUC-JIR) campus in Los Angeles, a rabbinical seminary and university.

I don't see what the hell your problems with your coworkers have to do with your race/ethnicity or theirs. If you don't like your relations with colleagues, talk to them about it. Sit down with your colleagues, and maybe start from a premise that you might have messed up, and ask if you can clean the slate with them. See how they react. This is really an interpersonal issue, not a race or religious issue.

See if you can mend fences with them. I certainly think this could just be a minor kerfuffle, OP.