Need an African American to Explain this Behavior

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, may I ask your background? Do you think you may have prompted it in any way? I am NOT saying this behavior is excusable.

Maybe they were jealous? Is it a nice car? This behavior could have been from anyone - including my uptight white neighbors who get jealous if they think someone has more than them

Op here-- Asian background. The daycare folks are nice Pakistanis. I don't think it was prompted - I was just holding my son and walking back to my car. My car is not anything of note and, seeing some of the other posters on this forum, I'm more ashamed of listing its make and model than anything else.

Korean, Japanese, Chinese, Indian? You aren't going to just leave us with "Asian," are you? Not much to go on there.

OP here-- Should the specific matter? Yellow skin, black shiny hair, squinty/slitty eyes. East/Southeast Asian. That's just as much information as the four young African American gentlemen had to go on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, because all AA's display the exact same behaviors.

OP here-- no, but when an individual of your ethnicity commits an outrageous act, do you not feel shame? We are all representatives of our identities to the larger world - ethnicity, nationality, etc. If this were not the case, concepts such as "White Guilt" or Germany's guilt over Nazis would not exist. I'm requesting an AA's explanation because before I add this to the "well, some AAs are just hostile towards me" category in my mind, I'd like to have someone at least defend their case.

No, it doesn't work like that here. Maybe it does in your country, but not here. One AA is not representative of all, and no one can answer why he did it, except for him.

OP here-- I agree that his action does not represent his whole peoples. However, I'm trying my best not to generalize and stereotype the entire African American population based on this one incident and I'm beating myself up for not speaking out (asking why he did it), but then again, after that hostile act towards me, I didn't want any more trouble. Is there just a general hostility between African Americans and Asian Americans around this area? (ex. I know it's a problem between, say, Koreans and African Americans in LA)

That would have been foolish for you to confront him after he committed a hostile act, especially with your baby present. As a 3rd generation American, I do not feel White Guilt. My father's family is German and they do not feel Nazi Guilt. We Americans like to think of ourselves as individuals in control of our own actions and lives, rather than as members of a cultural group.

[Anonymous]

Not a race problem. It is typical behavior for a$$hole boys between those ages. Don't you remember being that age and knowing guys who were a$$holes? I knew frat guys who would do stupid things like this. It isn't a function of race but rather age and sex!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, because all AA's display the exact same behaviors.

OP here-- no, but when an individual of your ethnicity commits an outrageous act, do you not feel shame? We are all representatives of our identities to the larger world - ethnicity, nationality, etc. If this were not the case, concepts such as "White Guilt" or Germany's guilt over Nazis would not exist. I'm requesting an AA's explanation because before I add this to the "well, some AAs are just hostile towards me" category in my mind, I'd like to have someone at least defend their case.

Sounds like you have your mind made up. I hope none of the African American posters waste their time responding to you.

[Anonymous]

This same scenario and question has been posted online and discussed many times. Try a Google search and you may find answers.

[Anonymous]

Were you clutching your baby to your chest while holding your keys sticking out between your fingers and readying your rape whistle? Because maybe they thought you were looking at them a little too wild-eyed and were tired of being stereotyped by scared women all day every day.

FWIW, I'm a white woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How in the world could an African American explain this behavior? The kid was an asshole. No one, including someone of his own race, could "explain" why he did this. OP, I'm sorry this happened to you, truly. But if you're looking for someone to give you a rational explanation for why this punk kid did that, you're going to be looking for a long time. Spitting on cars is not some common AA behavior that could be explained to you. It was gross, rude, and wrong. Not sure what else you are looking for.

OP here-- If the situation were reversed and someone else posted that while holding their kid and walking toward their car, a group of Asian kids strolled by and one looked right in their eye and spat on their car, I'd be able to post that "yeah, that kid was a ****ing racist and probably had something against people of your race" because there's few other meanings to that gesture in my culture.

Huh? Well spit or spitting on someone holds no significant meaning in AA culture, so the only AA who will be able to explain the motivation behind the behavior is the AA who did it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, because all AA's display the exact same behaviors.

OP here-- no, but when an individual of your ethnicity commits an outrageous act, do you not feel shame? We are all representatives of our identities to the larger world - ethnicity, nationality, etc. If this were not the case, concepts such as "White Guilt" or Germany's guilt over Nazis would not exist. I'm requesting an AA's explanation because before I add this to the "well, some AAs are just hostile towards me" category in my mind, I'd like to have someone at least defend their case.

No, it doesn't work like that here. Maybe it does in your country, but not here. One AA is not representative of all, and no one can answer why he did it, except for him.

OP here-- I agree that his action does not represent his whole peoples. However, I'm trying my best not to generalize and stereotype the entire African American population based on this one incident and I'm beating myself up for not speaking out (asking why he did it), but then again, after that hostile act towards me, I didn't want any more trouble. Is there just a general hostility between African Americans and Asian Americans around this area? (ex. I know it's a problem between, say, Koreans and African Americans in LA)

That would have been foolish for you to confront him after he committed a hostile act, especially with your baby present. As a 3rd generation American, I do not feel White Guilt. My father's family is German and they do not feel Nazi Guilt. We Americans like to think of ourselves as individuals in control of our own actions and lives, rather than as members of a cultural group.

OP here-- PP, you shouldn't feel either of those concepts, but do you feel extra elation when an American wins a medal at the Olympics? How about a German athlete? We're quick to rally to positive events and allow ourselves to feel a sense of pride when a member of our identity (nationality, ethnicity) does something awesome and you hold that person up as a role model or representative, but, as an American, I think we're also too quick to disassociate ourselves when a member of our identity (nationality, ethnicity) does something wrong/atrocious etc.

When the VT shooter in 2007 turned out to be East Asian, I felt an extra dosage (on top of the sadness already from the event) of shame for sharing the same ethnicity as the shooter. When the crazy Chinese guy beheaded the poor Canadian in 2008 on the bus, I again felt an extra dosage of shame. PP, you shouldn't feel white guilt nor should you feel Nazi guilt (nor should Japanese feel guilt over atrocities committed in WWII), but for an event that just occurred, with very little temporal distance, there should be at least a tiny blip on your shame radar, no? Like, does sharing similar identity traits as Wade Page make you feel more about that awful situation in Wisconsin?

[Anonymous]

Were you wearing green socks OP? It's a little known secret, but African American youths in Alexandria all pledged to spit on the cars of people who wear green socks on the 2nd Monday every August. Feel better now that you have an answer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not a race problem. It is typical behavior for a$$hole boys between those ages. Don't you remember being that age and knowing guys who were a$$holes? I knew frat guys who would do stupid things like this. It isn't a function of race but rather age and sex!

I wouldn't call that typical young male behavior. Spitting at someone is outside the norm. It's especially disrespectful and hateful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Were you clutching your baby to your chest while holding your keys sticking out between your fingers and readying your rape whistle? Because maybe they thought you were looking at them a little too wild-eyed and were tired of being stereotyped by scared women all day every day.

FWIW, I'm a white woman.

OP here-- no, I'm very (was very) comfortable in that neighborhood. Not a woman either - I thought I already clarified that in an earlier posting... my apologies if I haven't.

[Anonymous]

OMG, OP. You are not going to get the kind of answers you are looking for. An unpleasant thing happened to you today. No one would feel good about it. But it is not somehow indicative of the African American culture, FFS. Time to let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, because all AA's display the exact same behaviors.

OP here-- no, but when an individual of your ethnicity commits an outrageous act, do you not feel shame? We are all representatives of our identities to the larger world - ethnicity, nationality, etc. If this were not the case, concepts such as "White Guilt" or Germany's guilt over Nazis would not exist. I'm requesting an AA's explanation because before I add this to the "well, some AAs are just hostile towards me" category in my mind, I'd like to have someone at least defend their case.

Sounds like you have your mind made up. I hope none of the African American posters waste their time responding to you.

OP here-- my mind is far from made up and some of the previous posters have helped (e.g. the ones about typical behavior for boys of that age in this area, which is unexpected). Another pp, 1738, also provided a useful explanation. My lingering question still stands: Do African Americans have something against Asians in the D.C. area? I never had these sorts of issues on the West Coast (never experienced, rather) or in Boston, or New York.

[Anonymous]

Why in god's name do you think that ONE INCIDENT is means that a whole race of people in the whole of the DC area "have something against" a whole other race of people? Maybe the kid was racist, maybe he wasn't. I mean, does it matter? There's spit on your car either way. And it doesn't make all AAs in DC racist even if this one kid happens to be so.

I read racist shit on this site from white folks all the time. Doesn't mean that all white people in DC are racists. I don't know why this is so difficult to understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG, OP. You are not going to get the kind of answers you are looking for. An unpleasant thing happened to you today. No one would feel good about it. But it is not somehow indicative of the African American culture, FFS. Time to let it go.

OP here - or perhaps there is racial tension that I need to be aware of between the two groups in the D.C. area. If that's the case, I'm seeking some confirmation from the African American community so I don't blindly and ignorantly stroll through a predominantly African American community believing nothing untoward will happen to me.

I've heard soundbites such as Marion Barry's infamous ""We've got to do something about these Asians coming in, opening up businesses, dirty shops," but largely ignored such statements as not representative of African Americans at large, but if this is not the case, I'd like to know.